Lost control | ADHD Information

My adhd husband used to sleep in his school clothes, too! We don't do that, but dh is in charge of getting ds dressed in the morning because it's too stressful for me. Even as a baby his little arms and legs would be going and I'd be taking forever to get him dressed, lol! Dh said, "why do you take so long?" and I said, "then you do it!" Been that way ever since ;)

 

All great suggestions but....we've tried the marble reward system, only we used nickels and honestly...he doesn't accomplish enough to earn the reward fast enough to seem like a reward.  We use 1 roll of nickels & it takes forever cause they go back & forth constantly.  The idea of letting him sleep in his clothes is a good one, however our little guy is a sweater...he sleeps in only his PJ shorts, sheet & his weighted blanket & he is drenched within an hour of going to sleep.  As far as getting him up early, we do get him up an hour before we leave (6:30am) which is when we get up ourselves.  We used to do meds right away & then let him watch TV before he did all the rest of his jobs, but we've nixed that...as MAMAMIA suggested, it only seemed to cause more problems when it was time to turn it off.  So now he spends time in his room either resting or reading books until it's time to go.  We have changed our routine tho & it seems to be working, he gets dressed right out of bed (with help from Dad), gets meds, gets breakfast, brushes teeth (with help--QUIXOTE I was glad to hear your son is 9 & you still have to brush his teeth.  Our DS is 7 & when I leave him to do it, he runs the water over the toothbrush until the toothpaste falls off & then rinses his mouth as if he's done!  We do it for him in the morning) and is ready to go all within 1/2 hr of getting up.  We've found that doing everything all at once right away has helped, that way there isn't a rush to get jobs done when we're ready to get out the door...it's tough enough to get jacket & shoes on!

Ironically enough...last week we got a new puppy, which I thought was going to totally add to the craziness of our mornings & was not looking forward to it...and though I was crazy for agreeing to it HOWEVER...it has actually helped our mornings this week & we have been early to school everyday!  Instead of sending him to rest & read books, he & little bro take the puppy outside to play for 20 min before we leave and VIOLA--he's already got jacket & shoes on when it's time to go & has to just get in the car!  Playing with the puppy has been easily side tracked to playing w/outside toys...and re-direction was needed but it seems to be going well.  Let's just hope the novelty doesn't wear off too quickly & this continues to go well! 

My son is nine, and our mornings are still a nightmare. It is just him and me.
One thing that helped a lot was reducing the amount of commands that he
had to respond to. We get everything for school ready the night before, and
one thing that sounds crazy but helps A TON is having him sleep in clean
school clothes. Now our only fights are getting vertical, letting me brush his
teeth (yes, at nine! He won't do it.) and him putting on shoes & socks.
Another thing that might help you is waking him up early and giving him
his medicine with a good shot of juice, then letting him go back to sleep.
This helped us for a while, and I think it was the sugar in the juice as much
as the early start of the meds. Hope this helps...I could really use some suggestions on how to gain control of our two sons, 7 & almost 4.  DS7 has ADHD & is medicated but in the mornings is a bear for listening!  Granted, he is not fully medicated at that time, but has way more trouble listening to me over his father.  He doesn't give hubby much grief at all for the short time he's around in the morning, but the minute I open my mouth, he whines, argues & does everything possible to get me yelling.  I've tried every approach, saying please, asking quietly, snuggling in w/him when I ask, using the 1-2-3 approach verbally & silently w/my fingers and nothing works.  Along w/this, our DS4 yr old has begun the same behavior and is in the sassy phase also.  DS4 does not have any issues as the 7 yr old does, but I am seriously beat down and tired of having no control over our kids!  Hubby is getting tired of my crabbiness ALL the time and tries to be supportive but I can totally see his frustration when I don't have a lot of positive feedback when it comes to times that I'm alone w/our kids.  It's gotten progressively more & more & is to the point that I seriously do not have ANY patience for it anymore.  I used to be more patient but now the minute the definace starts, I am instantly angry & yelling.  We started a "first time" chart a couple of weeks ago & they've managed to earn a few stars on it for listening the first time, but I am not seeing the results I was hoping to see.  I reward them right away if they listen but they are not remembering it very often to earn stars.  I am just at my wits end & tired of being crabby at them all the time...I feel like a horrible mom for yelling so much and want to have kids that listen!  Help!My son is off in his own world in the morning, and I literally can't get his
attention until I raise my voice. So I do it before I get angry. I'll yell at
him, but it's only so the volume is high enough that he can hear me. I yell
"I love you" at him.

Try to take some of the pressure off yourself. When my son was 4 I made
little stick figure pictures with a time and taped them to the living room
wall. Every time he was getting off track I would say, check the time, and
he would look at the wall and the clock and he'd remember what he
should do. It's probably say check the time 5 times a morning, but it
helped. So did having a routine - he knew exactly what was coming next.

Good luck! And don't beat yourself up - we've all been there. It shows
you care - you would have just given up already otherwise.

Have you tried using the marble reward system?  There's a thread about it here on this board.  It's a good system.

I agree with quixote that you may need to get him up in the morning early.  I get my son up at least an hour before we need to leave.  Within 5 min of waking up he gets his Ritalin.  I then leave him alone and let him watch TV for about 1/2 hr before I start making any demands. It sucks having to get up earlier than necessary but it makes a world of difference in the frustration level in the morning!  If I don't leave him alone for the 1/2 hour to let the meds kick in then it's a disaster! Good luck!

We are seeing a social worker and she suggested no TV in the morning and
no laying down on the couch when she wakes up. This has actually been
working well for our 8 yr old daughter. I wake her and she sits on the
couch with me and a cover for 10 minutes. Then she goes in the kitchen
with me and chooses her breakfast and if it's cereal, she fixes it herself.
Then its getting dressed, brushing hair, brushing teeth. We also get up an
hour before we need to leave and I get up even earlier and shower so we are
able to chat and eat breakfast together without me rushing to get ready. Ugh, I hate mornings. I'm a night owl, but 10pm is about it now that I have kids. I try and get up at least 30min before them so that I can get ready myself before I need to do their thing. I tend to make sure that everything is laid out so that I only have to direct ds towards his clothes, breakfast, backpack, etc. before we have to leave.

Even then...I'm sure you know how it is. I really have to limit directions to just ONE task at a time. Otherwise nothing gets done! It is a rare morning that we are late, but there are many mornings when breakfast is eaten in the car, LOL!

Honestly, I don't get my older son (with ADHD) up until about 30min before we have to head out the door. Then I just push him through the tasks and we head to school. If I get him up earlier, he gets caught up in doing something else, and then it is a battle. Luckily he likes to sleep late. The only real battle we have is him getting out of bed, but once up I don't give him time to think about anything but getting going.

Most days this works for us, but I don't really have any other advice. Hope you find a solution that works for you and yours. Good luck