Potty Training
My son was a very late trainer (4yrs). The three things that clinched the deal: a toilet inset instead of a "baby" potty, NO more diapers, and M&Ms!
I bought a bunch of undies, and made him go change his own when he had wet accident. Sometimes if it was a no2 accident, I just put him into the shower and threw away the undies. I know it sounds like a waste, but I really was tired of dealing with the mess.
The thing was, with his sensory integration, the potty was really, really scary for him and he was sad to see his poop go away. I know, TMI, but that's how he was. He still rarely flushes because of the sound and the water going down. We had many discussions about the cycle of waste and that he shouldn't worry because it would be back again.
Anxiety and fear were big issues with out training experience. The candy reward worked for about a month, and by the time he was in pre-K the routine and schedule of all the kids going at the same time helped.
Sorry I can't be more helpful. It was just a really slow process for us, and the usual methods just didn't really work (like the timing thing). I had to just wait until he had enough vocab for me to explain the process. I hope you have better luck.Ok, thanks. Just have to have more patience I guess. I did not have this problem with my birth children. BTW I adopted my baby :) Love him bunches but am older now and a little out of touch. Been a long time since I went through this. my older son JUST completely potty trained last summer
..... he was just over the age of 10.
Granted, he's autistic..
but he was L.A.Z.Y
and had ZERO interest in using the bathroom ....
all of a sudden one day last May, IT CLICKED! he was
completely potty trained (day, night, pee and poop) within
two weeks.It's more of an assessment than a test. The OT at the school assessed my son with ADHD, but you could look into Child Find (or the equivalent where you are). They deal with placing kids in the 0-3yr bracket for developmental delays. The group in our town is fantastic. BUT, you have to seek them out. They aren't really allowed to approach you and ask if you want your kid to be assessed.
There's a chance, if he qualifies, that he wouldn't have to be potty trained to start in a school setting. My son with Down syndrome did not have to be fully trained and he started preschool before his third birthday! If there are delays, then you probably would want to start him in school as early as possible, so I would really look into Part C if I were you.
On the other hand, my son with ADHD didn't have that many language delays so I wasn't so worried about him starting school at age 4, but I really sweated the potty training...even at that late stage! I was really glad the school was only a half day program. Made it easier for him to not have accidents!!!
I think 2 1/2 is young, especially for a boy and with possible adhd. Adhd'ers are behind in maturity.
Do you suspect sensory integration? Do you know what it is?
My son was 100% trained by age 5, but then we dealt with his hyperfocusing and he would pee his pants.
It also took me putting my foot down. He was trained with peeing sooner than the pooping, this took longer.
Again, I think 2 1/2 is still young but it doesnt hurt to start "teaching".
Boys are also later than girls, and then you add the possible adhd to the mix.
Well, I know all states are different, but it's my understanding that the public schools where we live have to overlook the potty training rule iif there is a diagnosis which would affect the child's ability to be trained by a certain age. You might want to push back at the school policy a little, just a thought! If we are not our child's advocate, no one else is going to be!I agree about the school issue. If the child has a diagnosis then the school should be able to take him not potty trained. My son started public Pre K preschool at 3 yrs old and they said because of his diagnosis and IEP he didn't have to be potty trained.
Also, just for what it's worth...my son's pediatrician told me (even before we knew about my son's "issues") that she doesn't recommend even STARTING to try potty training boys until 30-36 months. She said it's like beating your head against a wall if you don't wait until they're ready! 
My son qualified here in Massachusetts for Early Intervention due to his speech delay. They diagnosed the sensory intergration. They also placed my son in a integrated preschool so he would continue services. (unfortunately the school didn't but that is another story)
At our integrated preschool it is NOT required for the children to be potty trained. It is a mix of children needing services like speech, OT, PT. There were autistic, down syndrome, etc. but also children there who needed no services and the cost was less for their parents. It was also a preschool where children would NEVER be expelled from. Most states have them.
My son played with anyone who would play with him, his speech was horrible but the kids understood him 
and it did work.
Your pediatrician should know about sensory integration but google it when you have a moment. Please ask any questions.
Also if you need services for sensory, which would be a Occupational therapists, your insurance will cover visits.
Again please ask any questions!! My son is 12, turning 13 in June and he has speech delay, sensory integration and adHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHd. 
she would poop in the toilet but always peed her pants. They just would not
change it and said if she smelled that they would call me to come change it.
since preschool was only 2.5 hrs I never needed to come and change her
pull up. A friend sent her son to an integrated preschool where half the
students were regular ed and half were special ed in the class. The teachers
changed diapers there. I think the teachers were made up of a speech
therapist and a special ed teacher and kids were sent to an OT in the
building as well. Hope you can find something like that in your area. I think
it was even free of charge being that her son was diagnosed autistic.
Hi,
DS potty trained at 3 years & 3 months. Boys tend to be later ...with the extra equipment. I tried him a couple of time before then (in 3 month increments) but knew quickly it wasn't going to work. Finally, he decided for himself..and potty trained in one day (pee and poop both). I suspect the best bet is to relax a bit with him and wait for some really potty training signals.. Good luck.
My son also has sensory integration disorder (and ADHD) and he potty trained late- 3yrs 9mos. We tried all of the tricks- candy, no diapers, only real underwear, put the potty in the living room etc. NONE of them had any effect! He did it when HE was ready and not a day sooner. One day he just started going on the toilet all by himself and has done it ever since! If I had known what I know now I would have just relaxed and let it come naturally. We like to think we are in control of when they potty train...but really we're not!
He will do it when HE'S ready and not before so don't beat yourself up about it. You don't deserve that! Good luck! Ditto to most of the above posts! Our little guy (adhd and pdd-nos) was 4 yrs and 2 mths. And we also tried every trick in the book, but he did it when he was ready. At one point, I was setting the kitchen timer for every 15 minutes and would bring him in the bathroom each time...talk about a looonnngg day! Dr. Phil had a show on not too long ago about kids' issues , including potty training. I forget the specifics, but it was basically about "modeling" a doll's behavior (one of those that you can put water in and it wets). Anyway, it might be on his website still, and he guarantees it will work in days..although he's never met some of our kids, right!
As for the school not accepting nontrained kids, is this a public school preschool? I know ours here in MD did make an exception for kids that had a diagnosis since this is SO common with our kids. They were even going to let him start kindergarten without being trained if needed. I know there were some preschool summer camps here that wouldn't take kids if they weren't trained by 3, but I always felt that was a form of discrimination due to their disability. But, then again, I wouldn't want him in a school that didn't want him!
Thanks so much to everyone for all your help. It's a public school preschool. Except for expensive private schools that is the only option here. I had a very hard time finding a mother's day out program that would take him but found him one finally and he starts next week.
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