I agree with the statement about the teacher. Some days I just wish I could be with her all day to protect from this cruel world. Today she came home and told me that her friend told her that her Dad said my daughter is probably gonna turn out pretty screwed up because she has problems and she watches CSI, and that will screw anyone up!!
We do have our special days, as often as she is willing to do it. We used to go out a lot. Some days we would go get our hair done and go out to dinner. Others we would go shopping or see a movie. I usually try and let her do wherever she wants on our outings. I do it with all 3 of the kids because I think its important to have that time to share with them and let them feel like they are important in my life. She has not really been to thrilled about doing this so much anymore, but I still try all the time to get her to do things with me.
She has been going through puberty for about 2 years now. I did think that this may be part of the issues she is having, but I am wonder why it wouldnt have shown up sooner.
I do keep my eye on her, I really do. I know what this can do to kids, and I refuse to be one of the parents that say "I had no idea what was going on" or something like that. I just wish we could protect them forever!!!
Thanks again for listening and I appreciate your thoughts!!
First of all, it could be "mean girls" syndrome. I would let the schoolGirls are nasty, they can be meaner than boys.
have you ever reported the teacher to the principal for her comment?
Have you had any other bullying incidents going on with your daughter?
What her friend said is cruel and probably isn't true. If it is, then the father of the other girl is screwed up!
It is very hard being 12,13,14, etc. Hang in there, mine are turning 13 and 11 1/2. I am right where you are as well!
corrina.....I am so glad your son had the courage to stand up for himself and not let his disability define the rest of his life!!!! I wish my daughter had the courage to do that as well!!!!
I have struggled with this school for so long....It took us until 5th grade to get an IEP in place fr her, and when all was said and done I didnt get a copy of it. I requested so many times and never got anything. We were lucky enough (until this year) to have teachers that were in costant contact with me and even without the hard copy of the IEP they made sure my daughter had what she needed to make school the best for her. This year is a whole new ball game, and again I am struggling with the school. Recently, at a meeting with all 5 of her teachers, her guidance counselor, and the principle, I discovered just how out of touch with reality this school is. In August when school started I personally contacted every teacher and the guidance dept about my daughter and her disabilities. At the meeting I was asked multiple times why she was on medication and eve had a teacher tell me she had no idea Brynn was ADHD!!!!! I was furious. It was at the meeting that I made it clear that the teacher who tried to ridicule my daughter was out of line . I didnt even get as much as an apology!!! At this point I am looking into the option of cyber-school for next year, but I am worried about the social side of it. I have a bit more investigating to do. You are right though, I am so bogged down and with no answers I do feel like I am drowning.
Bethann.....girls are SO nasty!!!!!!!!! I just hope I was never that nasty!! I wish our school would educate these kids a little more on topics like this instead of all the usual drinking, drugs, etc. Dont get me wrong, those are important, but there are oher things having an impact on our kids too that need to be adressed. I am currently trying to find out how we might be able to start a support group in the area or at our school. We have none out here and I think its something we need.
My daughter doesnt tell me much if there are any other bullying incidents going on, but that doesnt surprise me. She tries to avoid confrontation and knows if I hear of it then i will step up and take care ot it, and like most kids her age, she is embaressed to have Mom have to fight her battles for her. She is slowly learning that I am never going to stop fighting for her. People often ask me what keeps me going in all this...they dont understand that we are our kids first and only advocates in life. If we dont do it, who will?? Not the school, not friends, just us!!! It is our parental obligation to take care of them and make sure they have what they need!!!
I thank you ladies so much for letting me vent.....It doesnt happen often that I find someone who wants to listen....and I feel a bit better knowing I have found a place to just let it out. I think i am going to show my daughter that there is also a place for her to talk to others in the same boat. Maybe it will help her understand she is never alone!!!! Thanks again and I hope all is well with your families!!
We are very involved with what goes on with our son and school. He has dealt with bullying and exclusion through elementary school. there they were horrible. Just listened but never acted.
Now in middle school it is quite the opposite, our principal has a no tolerance policy ( I personally think he too may have been bullied and totally gets it!!)
Keep coming here and venting. You are among friends and comrads!
I am a mother of a 12y/o daughter and a 7y/o son who have both been DX with ADHD along with anxiety disorder. My daughter has been on so many different meds I cant even remember them all. Right now she is on Focalin XR 40mg in the AM and Focalin 5mg after school. I watch her and wonder if they even diagnosed her right. She is very antisocial most of the time. Although she is very smart and capable of high grades, she tends to just not do school work a lot of the time. She is a very messy child, even when she eats. We regularly have to make her clean her face and hands during meals. She often ends up with food in her hair and on her clothes. Her room is a DISASTER!! I know as a "tween" she should be a bit messy, but this is beyond that, and she doesnt care. I have to comb her hair each day and hand her deoderant or she wont use it. I have to remind her each night to get in the shower. Its not that she wants to be dirty and a mess, she just doesnt seem to think these things are important. When she is around other kids, she tends to relate well to the younger ones. She will find something she enjoys and be fascinated with it for weeks, then forget about it. For example: she can recite every episode of Criminal Minds because she has seen them all and owns all of them on DVD. She will watch it all day and night unless I take it from her. She was the same way with Micheal Jackson, owns several books and him, movies, etc. and now has no interest. It is almost like she obsesses over something and then suddenly its gone. I just dont know what to do anymore. She is also very negative and mean. She tends to lash out most at me, telling me she hates me, to shut up etc....but I know it isnt her. She was not always like this, and just became really this way in the past month or so. I am just so lost in this....and so is she....she will tell me she just doesnt know where she belongs in this world.......can anyone offer any advice???Do you think there is any inkling of a low self esteem or depression? I even thought bipolar of there are mood swings. Any family history of depression that you know of?
Sounds like disorganizational problems, maybe even OCD?
Any feedback from teachers at school?
It also sounds like her meds are not helping her at all.
Would you ever consider another evaluation? You may get better results because she is older and may test better. Just a thought.
I have thought the same thing about the Bi-Polar. She was diagnosed at 7 by her pediatrician and then sent to another place for treatment. No one ever really seemed to do a thorough eval of her though. She was being treated at a community counseling type situation due to lack of treatment in our area. Finally, after seeing her taking meds that made her not even aware of her own name I stopped taking her and found someone else to see her. We now go to Childrens Service Center for her treatment, and they didnt seem to do a thorough screening either. When i brought it up, they told me that as long as her meds were working well then we should not worry. They worked for a while, but now it just out of hand. The biggest issue we have is treatment is scarce in our area. CSS seems to treat most of the kids here, and each and every time we go its a different doctor or nurse practitioner seeing my kids. I have struggled on so many levels with this and dont know what to do. As far as school goes, they cant even seem to find my daughters IEP right now........I had a meeting with them a few weeks ago and they told me they would work with us to get through this. I even had a teacher announce to the class that my daughter is failing due to her lack of desire to do work!!!! That teacher seems to think that ridicule will work for my child, it wont......... As far as disorganizational disorders, she def has them!!! I just hate to see her like this....she seems to have lost all social skills, all of her self respect, and even her desire to be part of the family!!! I just dont know where to turn next........I feel like she is slipping away from us and I can tell she is scared..........I dont even know of anyone else in the area that could evaluate her because as I said, its scrace in our area. Thanks for responding though....it feels good just to connect with someone who understands what we live everyday!!That is unacceptable for a teacher to announce that to the class. That is destroying any self esteem that is left.
your daughter is also going through puberty, has been for a while I bet. Her meds may need to be changed/adjusted due to puberty alone.
She is also dealing with peer pressure, which pretty much sucks!
I am so sorry I can't offer you more help. I am here to chat if you ever need to.
Please keep an eye on her. Depression can lead to more serious stuff, if you know what I mean.
Poor thing.
would you ever set aside a night that is all about her and doing her favorite things? Or a day at the mall, shopping in her favorite stores, having lunch together, just lift up her spirits some how. This is sad and could happen to any of our kids, especially when they are becoming teens. It is really difficult with all the pressure put on them.
Please let us know how you are all doing.