Lying & Hyperness | ADHD Information

My son 11, is on meds for a few years now. He has to take them in front of me or my husband because he would hide them then act out. We give NOP med holidays my son is too hyper to do so he drives anyone batty and exhibits very poor judgement without the meds. As far as the lying is concerned I have the same problem here. My DS lies like a rug and I catch him often in his lies. This is the hardest thing to deal with right now because it is inherant of ADHD. I wish he didn't lie so much, but he he has a therapist who is helping us in these ares

 

I guess the easiest answer to the kids getting hyper is to not take them off the meds.  My son is waaaaayyyyy too hyper to take take him off the meds or give him "med holidays".  He also seems to do better when everything stays steady.  When we accidently forget a dose or give him one late he actually seems worse.  I think his body just doesn't like the abrupt change from having steady medication to nothing at all.

But if you know the meds are going to wear off then the best thing you can do is keep to the routine as much as possible.  You may not want to request a lot from them when the meds wear off like after- school-sports etc.  And try to keep consistant no matter what you're doing.  On the times that we've forgotten a dose I don't remember him looking different or sick.

I really couln't say as it has just come to light the extent of his lying. His father is very good and I am not too bad about catching him in his lies. he is then spoken to or threatned to lose another thing like Ipod or tv or whatever he has earned back so far. I just can't stand it. right now the therapist is trying to deal with school as the advocate would. and get ready for 7th grade.

Hi...don't know if this will work for your slightly older children.  But, with my son...when I know he is lying ..I ask him to head to his room until he is ready to tell the truth.  He will keep up the lie..until completely bored with his room and has ultimately ended up telling us the truth.  At that point, I talk about what went wrong ...and ultimately "Good job" him for telling the truth.  The time he is spending in his room is getting shorter and shorter..   if he comes out and continues the lie..  I send him back with "don't come out til you are ready to tell the truth."

Good luck...I can't stand the lying either!

How is the therapist helping you regarding lying, spamula?  I'd be interested in any pointers!

What do you do to help teach your ADHD children to not lie? our therapist says it is normal for ADHD children to lie but I want to help teach my kids not to...so much.

I don't want to medicate my children 24/7 so when they come off the meds they are a little bit hyper but they are really hyper when taken out of their routine and it is hard to get them to calm down. Any advice on what you all did? mine are 10 - ADHD inattentive & 8, ADHD impulsive. but both seem hyper/fidgety when off meds.

Also, do you notice that if your kids don't take the meds (which only happens when they hide the fact that they didn't take it) that they dont' look right? my daughter "missed" her meds on Saturday and her skin looked pale, her eyes had purply circles and she just didn't look healthy. Anyone else see this?

Let us know how your therapist is working with it please! I would certainly be interested on any tips. We also press it out of him and then tell him and praise him for coming forward and never ground him so far. Hoping this will get better soon.

I am glad I read this-  My son- 11 lies all the time and we are getting really tired of it.  I didn't know it was a symptom of the adhd.  He used to admit to something and then say later that he just did to get out of time out or whatever it was.  Then say he really didn't do it.  We found a tub of frosting half gone in his room yesterday.  He had to admit to that but when questioned about it he said he didn't feel bad about stealing it out of the pantry but felt bad about getting caught. 

I am concerned that he doesn't feel guilty about doing the wrong thing just about getting caught.

I feel bad about my 11 year old not feeling any remorse about his lying habits. Although when pressed for truth he will usually admit it to me, He doesn't feel bad as you say just bad about getting caught. I am very anxious for this weeks therapy session.I don't have advice, but I do have empathy. What I can't stand is the pointless lying, when there isn't even a reason to lie. I would understand if my son did something that he knew was wrong and then lied (which does happen), but why lie about stupid things that wouldn't even get him in trouble?

The one nice thing is that he's young enough that when I call him out on his lying he'll usually tell the truth. He might deny it for a minute, but he owns up to it eventually. But it's hard to believe anything that he says, even when he might be telling the truth, because he lies so often.

It makes him sooooo mad when I don't believe him. I've tried to explain to him the whole "boy who cried wolf" thing, but he just wants me to believe him whether or not he's telling the truth. And maybe it is the truth, somewhere in his mind...maybe he convinces himself that what he wishes happened is what actually did. I don't really know.

Anyway, we are starting up therapy sessions again this Saturday and I'll ask the therapists what they think and try to post any ideas they might give me. Likewise, if any of you get some great advice...let the rest of us in on the secret!!! I used to lie as a kid all the time.  I wish someone would have not punished me but rather explain to me why lying is not acceptable.  I wish someone would have told me that when I lied I would feel bad about myself and that I'm losing trust from other people.  I wish they would have explained how difficult it is after telling one lie to remember that when telling the subsequent lie to cover up the first lie and why would I want to do something that difficult.  I wish they would have encouraged me to tell the truth instead of threatening me to be punished if I didn't.  I wish someone would have told me that if I told the truth, it would all be okay.  I wish someone would have taught me that liars always get caught.

I think getting kids to understand the reasons behind why it's important to tell the truth goes much farther than punishment because if not, in my opinion, the kid will still continue to lie and just accept the punishment instead of gaining that deeper understanding.  And when the child DOES tell the truth, they need to be told WHY it's important to tell the truth.  For one thing, if you tell the truth, you don't have to remember a made up story.

Even though noone ever told me these things, somehow I learned that honesty really is the best policy.  I don't have to "tell all" but if asked a question, it's just easier to give an honest answer than a fake one.  People trust me more.