How do y deal with ADHD & joint custody? | ADHD Information

I am looking for the best schedule for my children. One is ADD and one is ADHD. I now it is hard going back and forth and they need to see both parents. What is best for them? What works?

We got to play with friends every other weekend. We couldn't during the week cus mom worked and then every other weekend we were with dad so the weekend we were with mom we could play with friends.

Everything that was done for custody or visitation between my parents was pretty much done through us although there was a basic schedule done with the court during the divorce. As years went on it was us relaying messages back and forth between parents. Needless to say that was a horrible way to work out the problems.

And of course my dad was not helpful because he would cancel all the time. Usually we spent one Saturday from 9am - 6pm with dad every other weekend. Once we got older we started doing the dinner after school once a week again when he didn't cancel. He never had us on holidays, mostly because we wanted to be with our mom.

There was never counceling or anything court ordered besides the intial ruling that my dad was granted visitation but the visitation schedule was left to be worked out by my parents. Which ultimately meant it was left up to me and my brother so unfortunately our case isn't really going to be any help with courts or making your ex cooperate.

Oh well good luck hope things work out for you and the kids.

Thanks !

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Thanks, unfortunitally my x will not work with me, so I have to do all of this via courts. He does not even do what he is supposed to do in our divorce agreement. His father is our local Senator so he gets away with murder!!!

He will not listen to my children's therapit, the teachers in school no one. He is only concerned with himself and not what is best for the boys.

I made a new post asking for letters from parents so that I can take to the courts as evidence. I don 't now if it will work. I am trying everything. I feel like I am going crazy!!!

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If he's getting away with everything due to his dad being the Senator maybe going to a higher court would work better for you.

Thanks for your responce. This is the schedule that I was trying to do for my children. I know that is is very hard going back and forth. Did your parents live close? How long did you do this for? How did you and your friends get together on weekeds? My parents were divorcied when I was 10 and I stayed in the same house, I was able to see my friends everyday. I had structure and a routine.

I am not in any way saying that both parents should not spend time with the children.. I am having a hard time with my children's father. He is not the easies person to deal with and he does not do what is best for the children. He is very selfish.

I would love to be able to speak with you parents to see how they came up with this schedule. Was there a therapist that suggested it or did the courts??

I would say if you (mom) has them all week then maybe dad should get them on weekends half summer vacation split holidays or work it out between you 2. Try to get together without the kids and work out a time live that works. The best thing to do is be civil with each other. I don't know the situation so just do your best. Take Care.

He will not listen to my children's therapit, the teachers in school no one. He is only concerned with himself and not what is best for the boys.

I made a new post asking for letters from parents so that I can take to the courts as evidence. I don 't now if it will work. I am trying everything. I feel like I am going crazy!!!

I was with mom during the week and dad every other weekend. Plus dad would pick us up from school one afternoon every week, take us to dinner and do some other activity (park, movies, etc..). Also during the summer we could spend a week, a month, the entire summer whatever with dad since no school to worry about.

There is no ideal situation. It sucks to have your parents seperated and the split effects kids without adhd just as much as those with it. No matter how you handle visitation the most important thing is to never complain about, argue with or put down the other parent when it's your turn with the kids.