The work problems | ADHD Information

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Lately, I've been stressed about my job.  I've never been at any one job for more than three years before things start to fall apart and I give up and move on.  Here's the latest dilemmas.


i balance the cash box daily as part of my job duties.  this involves making sure i have all the credit card slips, checks and the right
amount of cash for the deposit.  i've been doing this for over two
years.  when i first started, i would bring the daily deposit to a girl
in accounting but she was laid off in november and while i was really
hoping they'd ask me to be responsible for the deposit (you have to take
it to the bank), they gave it to my supervisor instead.  i was very disappointed. 
well, since november, i've made numerous mistakes from not having the
right change or bills for the deposit (which supervisor discovers when she
takes the deposit to the bank and can potentially put her in a bad position).  well,
yesterday it was brought to my attention that yet another mistake was
made regarding a check from the day before.  i think i understand why i
subconsciously sabotage this (because I want to be the one to take the
deposit to the bank) but they'd never let me do that if I'm making these
mistakes.  I don't know how to get over this. 

Friday night I went to happy hour with M (the girl in accounting who was laid off).  M can be very outspoken about
injustices and i think that may have been part of her demise but she
shared with me that for 10 years she tried to get more responsibility
with the company and each time, she was passed over.  well, in the past
two and a half years, i've tried to get the delpro stuff (given to
someone else), i tried to get the inventory persons job (given to
someone else), I tried to get the deposit (given to someone else).  no
wonder why i have a self-esteem issue.  what am i doing wrong that i
keep getting passed up for these things?  what do i need to do
right/more/better to get those responsibilities?  I tried asking my
assistant manager a few months ago about it but i went about it all from
the back door by telling him that i need to make more money and i'll do
whatever i need to accomplish that even if it meant dong inside sales. 
so, he's having me read these books (there's a whole industry series of
textbooks with exams).  i read one but i don't think i passed with a
good score.  i'm going to ask about it.  inside sales is NOT what I want to do but I have to advance somewhere/somehow...

i just don't know why i can never get advancement.  is my lack of self-esteem that transparent?  is it because of the repeated mistakes? 
is it because I have a hard time learning?  I honestly believe that
these things are, in part, due to the ADHD.  I want to be successful at
my job and I want to be a more integral part of the team but i'm never
given the opportunity. this seems to be a trend with me and I don't know how to fix it.  will i spend the next several years stuck in the
same position, never getting a promotion of any kind?  i won't/can't do
that.  i've made a  decision that if things don't change by the end of
the year, i will look for another job.  screw the 5 year plan thing.  i
need to advance.  i need to have that trump card with my current employer.  i like the people i work with so i really don't want to leave but, i gotta do what i gotta do. Otter - It's not a matter of checking the tape on the calculator or making numbers bigger.  It's more a matter of me not taking my time, me not focusing on what i'm doing, me displaying some dyslexic tendencies, me getting distracted, me just being careless. One time I wrote 108.50 when it was really 100.50 (or something like that) and I couldn't for the life of me figure it out!  I had my supervisor check it and as she was adding the numbers, THEN i saw the mistake!  It's just all so embarassing.  These are things that i am inconsistent about changing.  sometimes i can take my time and other times i feel rushed.  sometimes i feel confident and don't double check my work.  a lot of times i feel angered and resentful that i don't get to take the deposits to the bank.  i have so many mixed emotions going on, no wonder why i screw up a lot.  i get the feeling that they think i'm limited or something.  or does it have more to do with "princess sally"?

i don't understand your comment about oppositional aspect of ADHD.  Can you please explain?

[QUOTE=kjl2691]Otter - It's not a matter of checking the tape on the calculator or making numbers bigger.  It's more a matter of me not taking my time, me not focusing on what i'm doing, me displaying some dyslexic tendencies, me getting distracted, me just being careless. One time I wrote 108.50 when it was really 100.50 (or something like that) and I couldn't for the life of me figure it out!  I had my supervisor check it and as she was adding the numbers, THEN i saw the mistake!  It's just all so embarassing.  These are things that i am inconsistent about changing.  sometimes i can take my time and other times i feel rushed.  sometimes i feel confident and don't double check my work.  a lot of times i feel angered and resentful that i don't get to take the deposits to the bank.  i have so many mixed emotions going on, no wonder why i screw up a lot.  i get the feeling that they think i'm limited or something.  or does it have more to do with "princess sally"?

i don't understand your comment about oppositional aspect of ADHD.  Can you please explain?
[/QUOTE]

Maybe you can explain "Princess Sally."

Search Oppositional defiant Disorder, for Oppositional aspects of ADHD.  When someone tells me what to do, I immediately think thoughts of, "There is a better way to do that, I don't want to do that, You can't make me do that, I can delay that, and never ever actaullly do it., etc., etc."

I discipline myself to to immediately and always, say, "Yes, Sir!!!" whenever I receive an instuction from a boss,

 

Have you ever taken the Silva Mind control courese.  Search Silva Method.   This gives breathing and relaxation techniques for controlling your emotions and concentration.  One weekend course. 

 

 

.. 

Sally is my supervisor.  She's been here for about 8 years.  She has all the fun stuff.  She's won Employee of the Quarter more than once.  She has a ton of responsibilities.  Everyone trusts her.  She was supposed to show me how to do O&Ms last year and it never happened.  She still does them.  I get the sh*t jobs.  I get to do the filing and sorting papers.  It's like there's an unspoken rule that "whatever Sally wants, Sally gets".  Not that she's not good at what she does and maybe I'm a bit jealous but I also have a fragile self-esteem.  I mean I can't even be trusted with a simple responsibility of taking the deposit to the bank twice a week?  Why did I not get that?? Why have I not been given the other opportunities?  What does she have that I don't?  And it's not like I can ask.  I may ask my boss what can I do to be more of a valuable employee here.  But even that might not get me far.    There's so much favoritism at this company.  Nepotism is even more apparent.

All that being said, I'm going to work at changing my attitude.  I can ask Sally if there's anything she needs help with.  I can continue to ask accounting if they need help with anything too.  I can ask salesmen to teach me things that i don't understand. All I can do is keep a can-do attitude, come to work with a smile on my face.  I know I can't change what the company does in regards to giving me more responsibility or a promotion of any kind.  But I can change how i respond to that inaction.  And I can look for another job!

Thanks for letting me talk this out.  I needed that. :)

You do not metnion systems to double check the bank tallies.

I have created visual charts fro my progress every day.  I draw lines on charts, as I make progress.  I can see at a glance what I have left unchecked. 

Why not inside sales?

Liking co workers andhaving constructive double check relationships with co-workers is slightly different. 

M may not be the best person to help you keep apositive attitude about your work

 

How can you earn more trust?  How can you show re-doubled efforts when imperfection arises?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..

otter - thank you for your comments.  it's so hard to maintain a positive attitude when you're not happy with your job.  but i will work on that.  thanks for the encouragement.

[QUOTE=kjl2691]Lately, I've been stressed about my job. 

i balance the cash box daily as part of my job duties.  this involves making sure i have all the credit card slips, checks and the right
amount of cash for the deposit.  i've been doing this for over two
years.  when i first started, i would bring the daily deposit to a girl
in accounting but she was laid off in november and while i was really
hoping they'd ask me to be responsible for the deposit (you have to take
it to the bank), they gave it to my supervisor instead.  i was very disappointed. 
well, since november, i've made numerous mistakes from not having the
right change or bills for the deposit (which supervisor discovers when she
takes the deposit to the bank and can potentially put her in a bad position).  well,
yesterday it was brought to my attention that yet another mistake was
made regarding a check from the day before.  i think i understand why i
subconsciously sabotage this (because I want to be the one to take the
deposit to the bank) but they'd never let me do that if I'm making these
mistakes.  I don't know how to get over this. 

. [/QUOTE]

What isthe timeline for preparing the deposits?

Do you have an adding machine with a tape?  ()

Set up a checklist, with running a double check tape.

Do you have a magnifying glass at your desk?  ()  Some figures are going to be difficult to read, for credit cards and checks. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

''

Otter40323.970462963

[QUOTE=kjl2691]Lately, .  i think i understand why i
subconsciously sabotage this (because I want to be the one to take the
deposit to the bank) but they'd never let me do that if I'm making these
mistakes.  I don't know how to get over this. 

. [/QUOTE]

The oppositional aspect of ADHD is often neglected.  I need to constantly monitor myself for oppositional ideas.  I can criticize anyone for most anything.  I am constantly having to re-evaluate my opinions, and focus on results.  Make-wrong is a concept that I look for, as a signal that I am feeling uncooperative.

 

 

;;

It is possible that you might get further benefit from venting about your supervisor, Princess Sally.  Sounds like a few more unreesolved feelings could be processed into a more positive/cooperative perspectgive.

My handwriting is streaky.  Some days it is neat, some days my block printing is difficutl to read.  I once had a supervisior who thought I was being deliberately inconsistent, and I did not have the knowledge to explain that I am a streaky, inconsistent person, with a brain that gives me good days and bad days on handwriting.  Maybe your dyslexia on adding deposit checks and credit card entries might have good days and bad days.

You might make it a priority to get a trial balance total early in the day, so you have some time to lapse, before the time to final check the totals for your deposit.

Besides going to the bank, is ther any way you can break up your day?

Offer to make cold calls for Inside Sales.Offer to research non-standard requests by cusomers?

 

 

 

 

 

 

..

I've been in a similiar situation.  I worked as a teller and a vault clerk for a successful company.  I really liked both jobs and probably would have kept the latter job to great success had it not been for my ADD.  A doctor recently asked me what was ADD.  How did I know I had it?  I fumbled through a few examples and his ADD kicked in and he was soon uninterested.  The question stuck with me.  What is ADD.  Later the answer struck me.  It was me checking everything twice, sometimes mulitple times and still not catching things.  This happened repeatedly in the financial jobs I had.  I would check check check and thought I had everything right only for someone else to find something I had "missed".  It was very frustrating before I was finally diagnosed.  Finally after being confronted by my sweet boss for the third time I tearfully turned in my two weeks.  I would not be able to do that job. (again this is prior to medication)  I just summed it up to that I would not be able to do financial jobs and left it at that.  It's one of the many reasons why I wonder why people call ADD a gift.  i don't think the person that said that, had it.  I would love to be wrong.  I hope yours works out better than mine did. [QUOTE=itsagift?]I've been in a similiar situation.  I worked as a teller and a vault clerk for a successful company.  I really liked both jobs and probably would have kept the latter job to great success had it not been for my ADD.  A doctor recently asked me what was ADD.  How did I know I had it?  I fumbled through a few examples and his ADD kicked in and he was soon uninterested.  The question stuck with me.  What is ADD.  Later the answer struck me.  It was me checking everything twice, sometimes mulitple times and still not catching things.  This happened repeatedly in the financial jobs I had.  I would check check check and thought I had everything right only for someone else to find something I had "missed".  It was very frustrating before I was finally diagnosed.  Finally after being confronted by my sweet boss for the third time I tearfully turned in my two weeks.  I would not be able to do that job. (again this is prior to medication)  I just summed it up to that I would not be able to do financial jobs and left it at that.  It's one of the many reasons why I wonder why people call ADD a gift.  i don't think the person that said that, had it.  I would love to be wrong.  I hope yours works out better than mine did.[/QUOTE]I had the same problems, and resigned after trying unsuccessfully to find ways to avoid my too-frequent errors and oversights. 
Now I am preparing to search for a new job, and I am struggling with the negativity and low self esteem from my last job failure.  I would appreciate any ADD'er's comments on the jobs they've found tolerable, and any input on whether at age 52 I should finally try medication or other treatment for my ADD.  Could it really make a difference in my job performance?