Thanks everyone.
My Aunt works in the governors office and after what her school said to us yesterday, she told me to email and call the gover. And to send emails to all of our goverment officals for city and state. Asking for help. When we went to pick her up yesterday, We asked if they had enough data to schedule a IEP meeting and they said that she currently has a 504 plan and She has a counselor pulls her out of class every monday for an intervention. And they are trying different techniques with her. And then she said "We are really not sure if you guys understand what a IEP is" I said " I do understand what it is" Then I said " It creates a opportunity for teachers and parents and staff at school to work together to give her a quality education for children with disabilities. We asked for an IEP again four months ago and You have been collecting data for 2 years now. And you guys gave her a 504 plan. Do you really thing it is working? Have you seen any improvement in her?"She just looked at me with this face and then I walked away. Also they said someone would call us about getting a copy of her records. But of course no phone call yet. Today is a half day. And things are especially worst on those days.
Thanks again
Hey thanks. Were going to look into a new dr tommorrw. We already wake her up early an give her medicine to her. And then let her fall back asleep. Shes actually much better on the weekends when she wakes up around ten am. and takes her medicine then. We always give it to her I never let her walk away with it becasue she'll put it down and forget it.
The IEP thing makes me so mad because we requested in writing 4 months ago and when we met with them they said "Well lets start with a 504 plan and go from there" Of course we said ok. Not totally understanding everything and not wanting her labeled. A month and a half ago I sent another letter in requesting an IEP and the behavior spec. called me the same day to report that she was sent to the office on a referreal. Her teachers have been very good with her and handling the situations that come up. But come on everyone can see she needs a IEP. That day she would not stay in her assigned area. She has a desk but they also have it in an area where she can stand an move around it. but she kept standing up and walking to other student and touching their hair and then she blew in a couple of kids faces. I guess this went on all day and finally the teacher just sent her up to the office. Since that moment she has stayed in her area but she just acts out from that area.
It's not that I treat her like the other children. We just wont tolerate her being mean to them. We give her more chances than the other two. So much that our seven year old will push and push but just when she thinks that she may break a rule she will stop. Because shes not a rule breaker as she tells everyone. I used to knit pick everything becasue I just didn't understand adhd. Now I slack back alot. I used to correct every word the 3 girls said that was incorrect. Now on Monday I let them now what the word is for the wk that we are going to work on. This week is the word seen. She will say I seen him do it. Drives me crazy. We make a game about it. If I say it incorrectly and they catch me they get a money.
Meltdowns.. I try and avoid them alot. She has list everywhere. I let her write them and then I got them laminated. Our days are the same everyday that I know when she will have one. Except today afterschool. I explained to her that while she was at school I was going to clean her room. She said ok. I just wanted to warn her. When her dad came home with her. I was almost done. I told her to go get a snack. and I would be done in a minute. She then cried out and threw herself on the floor ( an outside would think she was spoiled for doing this) Her dad has a hard time with her when shes like this. I just stood there and waited for to finish. She stopped. I sat on the floor with her and I said can u communicate to me why you need to go in your room right now. She said of course I have a headache and want to lay down. I giggled and she laughed I said lay down on the couch and I will be done in a few. I got done and then we went and looked at her room. I bought baskets and labbeled them everything from. Tommorrows cloths to backpack to Hair products. I'm hoping this will stop a meltdown when shes told to clean her room. Thanks
I'm glad you're seeing a new doctor. There are pharmaceutical ways to help your daughter.
As for the school, hire an educational advocate to help you negotiate getting an IEP in place for your daughter. My experience with public schools has been that they count on you not knowing what your rights are. We got absolutely no pushback from my daughter's school once we hired an advocate. Document, document, document all the struggles your daughter's having and save her schoolwork. Good luck.
I'd try a bit more work with doctors. There are phamacological specialistsHi everyone, this is going to be a long one so put your reading glasses on.... My husband and I have been married for 2 years and been together for 3. Hes has a daughter 10 (adhd) and I have two daughters 10 and 7. Our adhd daughter was put on medication 3 years ago. Shes been everything from mediate to daytrona. She currently on vyvanse 50mg and proztac 10mg in the am and 20 mg before bed. I will just say this our whole house has expectations. All five of us have read the contract and sign it. We have expectation cards for everywhere we go. I know when you tell an Adhd child to be good. That its too vague so everything is wriiten and posted. We have signs all over our house and in her room. Thanks for any input you have on this. I wanted to put everything so maybe someone goes threw something like us and can help.
In the beginning of third grade (2009) she had school related behavioral issues and her grades were below average. Her thrid grade teacher last year told her that if they could settle her issues at school then they wouldn't call home. I think they just needed to for her to pass the FCAT becuase that school has a failing grade. Well she didnt pass the part that deals with grammer. But they promoted her to fourth grade anyways.
So know were almost at the end of fourth grade and everyday is a nightmare. Mornings go like this I wake our other two girls up because they get up and get dressed. Then I wake her up. I go over and try to wake her up, finally she comes to and sits up and I give her medicine to swallow. She takes it and then I tell her to wake up and I will be back to check in two minutes. I go back and of course she is back asleep. On a good day it only takes me about 15 mins to wake her up. She then heads to the bathroom. We only have one bathroom so if someone is in their she has to wait. but she feels that she just woke up and should be the first one in their. I have to explain almost every morning that if she would have gotten up on time then she prolly would of been able to go right in. So she finally gets to go in their and she takes forever. 15 mins later she come out. Unless I have gone in their and told her to get out. She will fall asleep in there. Or she will be messing around with our stuff that is in the bathroom. next she goes and gets dressed. If something is not there she will yell from her room asking for it. Like today I had her pants for school becasue I was folding cloths last nite so, I just laid them on her bed. Well she wanted to know where her shirt and painties were. I had to stop what I was doing with our other 2 children and walk in their and say in your drawer. She didn't have painties because during the night she will be in bed and I guess she thnks she is peeing so she said their is a drip on her painties. That happened 3 times last nite. She still tries to come wake us up but we send her to her room to get new ones. Then she gets dressed and puts her shoes on and comes out. I send her back to her romm to get pick and hair clip. She has the most beautiful curly hair. She gets mad and stomps out. Brings it back. Most mornings I say nothing but then theres the days were I say. We have been doing this same routine for a year. Lets try tomorrow to remember. I know you can do it. Or I praise her for remembering to put her shoes on before she comes out. I realy dislike being negative in the am because its a horrible way to start the day. Then she sits down to breakfast alone becasue the other two get up and get ready nad eat becasue they leave 15 mins before her. She then complains that she eats alone and I explain that if she were to get up on time she would eat with everyone else. 15 mins later shes done. I ask her to get her book bag and she will pick a fight with the 7 year old.So now there are arguing over something ridicules. I settle that fire and move on. Then I take her to school. They have a safety patrol waiting for her to bring her to class becasue she can not be trusted to walk to class herself. She wonders around campus for about 20 mins or stands in the doorway and wont walk in, or gets breakfast and sits their so now she has to get a tardy slip. She is not allowed to go get breakfast becasue she has it at school but the cafe cant turn her down it's a rule and she nows they can't because shes told them. During that whole time of getting her ready she has demanded things, talked back, argued with everyone, and in general not being respectful of anything.
So lets jump to me picking her up. I pull up she gets in and shows me her planner. Thers is always a comment about how she got her seat moved, being isrespectufl, argumentative, touching her classmates, not staying in her assigned area, picking on people,daydreamong, not doing any work, lying about anything she can and being disrubtive. We go home and get a snack. She will start her homework ( of course she doesn't understand it becasue she just sat at school for 6 hours and didn't pay attention)so I explain it to her. I will not do it myself. I give her other examples. She starts and i go threw her papers in her bookbag. The graded papers are normally f's or incompletes or not followed directions. She does get good grades on the homework she turns in and sometimes an occasional good one in math or science. She has to do grammer every morning and she fails everyone. They have pushed her threw each grade and she doesn;t know what a noun, verb, adverb is. Our evenings are the same as the am. She does have great moments were she plays with the other two peacefully. but then she losses focus and wonders off. And they get upset, they understand her issues and are very forgiving but there is only so much they can take. Then she takes a shower and goes to bed.
I try not to focus on all the negative things but there are a few things I wont accept. We are trying to teach her how to cope and handle herself so she can make it in the world. We cant let her go by herself anywhere becasue she will do something. I almost have to monitor her in the bathroom becasue she will use our toothbrushes in the toliet.Or take a 20 min shower. Last week I found my makeup in her room. And she said Oh I thought you bought it for me. She used dog shampoo in her hair because it was their in the bathroom. I know she is immature. That explains alot. i try and let her to it on her own so I can give postive comments but half time I just shake my head. I will be postive even if she remembers to push her chair in when she leaves the table.
Her social skills are a hott mess. Nobody from her class will invite her places. The neighborhood kids do not want to play becasue of something she said or did. Shes not violent but she will say stuff or one time she threw sand at a kid, or her just being immature for her age. She does better with kids a few years below her. it hurts are other 2 becasue when they all go out nobody will come and play. Also She goes to school with some girls who attend the same camp as our other 2 did and She would go to school and tell the girls everything about the other two. And it upset them alot becasue they wouldnt do that to her. I tried to help them understand why she does it or what to say when they are made fun of. I just pulled them out becasue it wasnt worth all that. Going anywhere in public is 50/50. Most times if we go out to dinner she shows off the worst table manners and says things she shouldn't or burbs or passes gas. Its like If we go I want to go to another town to go out. We go to families housees she has to touch everything. We have redirected for everything but she doesn't listen. She ask the same question over and over. Hopeing you will change your mind. When her dad and I first got together thats how it was becasue everyone was like this is our poor child. She can manuipulate the situation so you cant even remember who was right.When she speaks to you it's normally very rude or demanding like we all have to bow down to her.Or she speaks so nice to you becasue shes going to ask for something she knows shes not allowed to have. Then you say no not today becasue of _______. Then she will say well I'll start being good right now. She waits a few mins then she says so do I get it back. I say no. She throws a tantrum. Or she tried to be good but for the next hour she will say to herself out loud i just have to be good for awhile so I can get my stuff back today.I just let her talk and then when she ask for it I just repeat myself again. Everybody gives excuses for her.not one person was letting her know thats how she comes across. and not one person was trying to teach her how to go about doing it for herself. Her grandmother would write in her planner that she forgot to write her spelling words down on mon could you please write them for her. Or she couldn't complete her homework last nite becasue we ran out of time. So this year in fourth grade she thought thats how we were going to roll. I was like nope. Her dad and I will help her find the resources to help her or help other ways. She cant control herself in a group situation she normally gets removed from it in school. When she does something to someone she just says sorry. Her excuses for everything are I didn't hear you. I forgot, You never said that, or I'm not feeling well i cant do it. We tell her to go stand on the wall in the hallway until she remembers ( We tell her to do it there cause her room she will lay down and go to sleep and if we put her anywhere shes next to people she will act up to get attention) Shes normally there only for a few minutes and then she completes whatever we had said or completes the task. Then I give the best postive feedback you have ever heard. When she says shes sorry, it looks like she really doesn't care at all. She just moves right along to the next thing. While whomever she has upset is standing their like thats it? Everyday I feel like I'm a broken record.
i have been very proactive about dealing with all this. I have read everythign I can find. I have done charts for her reward charts, Chore charts, behavior charts,frequent flier miles for the car rides, Time outs treasure boxes. A schedule posted in her room. The other 2 are the only ones who get anything. I tried to reward her things right away. We even go to mcd and my moms pool on every thursday and she know that she will not go if there are any comments in her planner for being disrespectful to adults or not doing any work, or not feeling well. Its our house rule that if stay home becasue you dont feel well or sit at a desk all day long with her head down (she does that atleast once a week) then you do not get to do much once you do get home. But every thursday there are not any comments like that in her planner at all. But if we have a unscheduled event and she her planner says that stuff then i have to explain to her she cant attend. She flips out saying Well I didnt know we were going to do something. It's a huge power stuggle at my house. I will not argue with her. Becasue that what she wants i think. We all go to therapy once a week. All five of us. i'm putting my children in the middle of all this. They are not unhappy. They are great in school. And are right on track every where else. i just hate how snappy I have become and negative sometimes.
She currently has a 504 plan but they are not using it. When she doesnt complete classwork she should be coming home with it to complete and she just gets a zero. im not even sure why we drop her off everyday. We are trying to get a IEP but they are so slow with it. This morning her dad went their to get a copy of her school records and tried to get answers and they were like Were not sure if you understand what an IEP is used for. I'm not even a teacher and I would say this child needs help!!! We have been trying for 2 years to get one. This year we have been more proactive about it. They are failing this child. Im like what about the no child left behind act and the other stuff. We just recently found out that she is not allowed to sit with her class at lunch. but she sits with kindergarten. She told us that. She said she likes it becasue they are funny. It's prolly becasue they have more in common. and she can boss them around. She says all the kids in her class are always telling on her. They have a comment box so they can write down things that they have trouble with and the kids usually write how they cant focus or hear becasue she is always making all kinds of noise or singing in class. Or that she is being rude to them in group. Shes considered a bully at school. She doesn't even way 60 pounds. There was a case where one of the students were in the bathroom and she hid to scare them ( after being told all year not to do that) and she screamed boo and the girl was so scared she peed her pants. And then she laughed at her for doing that.And makes fun of the girl in class. Then the girls parents called the school and many other parents did over other things that have happened. But yet nothing is done. THis story just spells IEP.
I'm almost done.....lol.... Then We go to her doctors and they just up her mg and say well lets try this for month. She started on 20mg of v and now we take 50mg.We have tried to change her diet. And every behavioral modification that there is. If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it becasue i feel like I need to go take a pill. Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way. The way I deal with stress is I joke about it. I always see the glass halffull. Atleast she doesn't harm herself or others. Thanks for reading. If you were brave to finish. Thanks
If it's any consolation, we've all been there. Schools suck. Sorry, but it'sThanks Corrina
They finally called today and said I could pick up her school records. For this year they have not given any assestment test to her stating "She cannot stay on task and focus for test to be admistered. Student shows lack of cooperation to authority. I'm going down there and say No duh. She has ADHD, anxiety, Trichotillomania ( which is a nervous system disorder where she will pull on her hair seeking sensory stimulation) and a social disorder. And you guys send home negative comments everyday about her. Everyday she goes to class you treat her as if she has the plaque. If you greeted her at the door one time in a postive manner and with a smile then she would prolly have a different attitude towards you. Or give us her darn IEP so we can have a teacher that can handle us.
I guess I needed that. lol. Tomorrow I wont be so keyed up.