10 yr. old is regressing | ADHD Information

I have a 10 yr. old son who was diagnosed ADHD when he was 8 yrs. old. He is currently on 15mg. of Focalin. He has always and still does get great grades in school and the teachers have never had behavioral issues with him. Our huge problem is that he seem like he is regressing in age. He smears toothpaste on the mirror at home, wants to dress like his little brother, cries constantly, writes on my walls, and the list goes on and on.

He has NO friends and seems very unhappy most of the time (unless he is playing baby games with his brother!). He is very good at sports and plays travel baseball. We were hoping this would help him make friends, but all the kids think he is wierd. It breaks my heart to pieces. He has hit two kids in the neighborhood when they have made him angry, so now none of them will play with him. We had him go apologize and grounded him in his room for the weekend both times. I ask him what he does on recess at school and he says "just walked around" or he'll say he played basektball or football with the other kids and he will tell me he hates them all and that they were hitting, tripping or stealing the ball from him. I found out on a couple of occasions that this stuff never happened. It is so frustrating.

He is afraid to do ANYTHING such as walk or bike to school (even if he is with a friend), go to the restroom in Target (his 7 yr. old brother takes him), thunder, fireworks, sleepovers, and if my husband or I are out of his sight for a second in a store he goes crazy and starts screaming and crying. It is really causing a lot of stress for the whole family and I can't imagine what HE has to be feeling like.

I am wondering if he may be depressed or if maybe he is mis-diagnosed. I just want hime to have a happy childhood and even just 1 good friend to hang out with. Anyone going through this same kind of thing. I would love to hear any suggestions or ideas!!Sounds a lot like sensory integration issues, but it could be something else. My son has "strange" phobias that don't seem to make sense to the rest of us, but they are very real to him. The sensory issues can be related to any of our five senses, and any of them can trigger a melt-down. An OT would really be able to diagnose and help with those things.

I'm pretty sure the social immaturity goes hand in hand with ADHD. My son is almost seven, but a lot of his social behaviors would be more appropriate for a 4yr old. If he could, he would hang out with preschoolers all the time, but he is so much bigger than them and doesn't understand social boundaries, so that doesn't really work.

Your son doesn't have to be misdiagnosed to have other issues along with the ADHD. The thing about Sensory Integration is that the ADHD meds can aggravate the anxiety, but the adhd is out of control without them. Talk to your son's psych about what meds might be better, or if there is something you can add (like tenex/intuniv) to calm the anxieties.

And don't worry, around here your son is on the "typical" scale. Nothing you've mentioned seems out of character when compared to other posts I've read and my own experiences with my son. It's important to remember that and to come to us when you feel alone...that's why we are here!

We have the same issue at our house. Our dd was just like your son. Dx at eight and now is ten. We also take medicine and therapy and behavior modification at home. Is he in 4th grade? For some reason I think that plays a roll init. 3rd grade the kids are more easy going and none of them have hit puberty yet. There still kind of babies and just finding there independence. Last year in 3 grade we have maybe 2 behavioral issues but mostly just fogetting to bring hmwk folder hme but now in 4th grade everyday is a battle with her. All she hears at school is negative. but thats a whole story on that.4th grade starts everything. It's very overwhelming for a adhd child because some of them are socially inclined, maybe 2 or 3 years below there actual grade. Ten and eleven y/o can be hard on kids. Especially if you do not fit into what they think is "normal." Plus puberty hits. We have a 10 y/o girl with adhd and a 10 y/o without. And they are totally different. We also have a seven y/o girl who dd plays with the most and they get along for the most part. I think they feel like they can't fit in with children there own age so they shut down or find children that they have more in common with. That could give them postive comments for there self esteem.

I was in a store one time and I heard a dad ask his daughter who had some kind of disorder (prolly adhd) and he asked her why can't you just be a normal 9 year old. I almost dropped all my stuff. Most of us prolly think it but would never ask our children. When he turned the corner I said to him "Don't you think she knows that" And What is normal? We ended up talking for about an hr about her.

Maybe try a adhd support group in your area that plans activities on weekend for families. I want to start one over the summer for our area. That way he can meet kids and their families in a different situation and won't get picked on for the things he does. I would think it would raise their self esteem some so they can approach other children and not be so afraid that they will get made fun of or laughed at. Or Karate they say that its good for adhd children. we might try a family karate lesson all five of us.

Well good luck.

Thank you so much for posting. It is all so overwhelming sometimes and feels good to know that you are not alone. I do need to contact his Dr. and see what we can do about his anxiety and find a local support group.

I was hoping that as he got older it would get better. He is such a great kid and has a huge heart. 4th grade has not been easy. I think all the kids probably feel a little awkward at this age anyway and to add ADHD to that just makes it even harder.

Thanks again for your kind words and encouragement!!Welcome mepolansky. There will always be someone here to help and listen Its a good idea to contact the doctor because your son may be having anxiety issues and you need to find out why. You are certainly not alone. Please keep us posted.I have made an appointment to look into my son's anxiety issues. Meanwhile, with the Dr.'s permission, I have stopped giving him his Focalin (since it is the end of the school year anyway!). He was so happy when I told him we are going to try not giving him meds, it almost made me cry. He did not like the way he felt on it. I told the teacher to give me a heads up if she noticed him not focusing.

What is strange is he told my husband and I last night that a few boys in his class asked him to play basketball at recess yesterday. He was having so many problems making friends and fitting in. I think the Focalin was making him into a zombie and making his Anxiety worse! He has been in such high spirits when he comes home from school (it used to be all negative, unhappy thing's he said). It is like a totally different child. Eventually we will probably have to put him back on something. I will defnitely try a different med next time though. I just feel horrible that he had to go through all of 4th grade feeling this way. I think that his depression was worse to take on the meds than his not focusing at school w/o meds is. His grades were not bad when he wasn't on medicine, so I may just have the teachers do things in the classroom to help him to stay organized. I think SOMETIMES teachers want them on meds because it makes their job easier.

That is what is going on and I thank all of you for your kind msg.'s and support!!

Your child was experiencing unacceptable side affects and the side effects indicate either the wrong dose or med, a co exisiting disorder agitated by the meds or a misdignosis. When the child is on effective medication they shouldnt be feeling the way your son felt and given how he felt, the dose or med should have been changed by the doctor until the right dose and med was found. This is why patients go through a trial of medication. Mediction is not the enemy and has allowed millions of children to experience quality of life. Dont feel horrible because the effects and consequences of untreated ADHD down the road are far more devasting then medication side effects. When depression worsens and anxiety worsens on ADHD meds its an indicaton that the child may have co existng depression and anxiety disorders or perhaps ADHD was a misdiagnosis  Children with ADHD do have moments when they seem asymptomatic but overall, their abiltiy to function on a daily basis is compromised by the disorder,

Good luck and please keep us posted

Just wanted to add that 4th grade can be hard.  My son is not the social butterfly I had hoped for, but he has made two pals.  Both are special needs and medicated.  It works for them and they all enjoy each other's company.  It can take several tries to find the best medication for your child.  Keep the faith.