Melting Down...SOS! | ADHD Information

This is my first post.  My 8 yr. old daughter was diagnosed this year with ADHD.  I am a school psychologist, and I feel helpless!!!!  I was reluctant to diagnose her sooner b/c I wasn't getting any feedback from her teachers, even after inquiring at parent/teacher conferences. This year; however, her 3rd grade teacher was on the same page, as well as the psych at her school and the social worker.  I feel like I should know what I am doing.  I implement every strategy I can think of.  We have done the Finegold diet, we are doing acupuncture, I do acupressure on her every night before bed, we have a behavior management plan at home...I finally medicated her and the first trial was unsuccessful with Vivance.  We are on our second day of focalin xr.  She is just sooooo emotional!!!  When she was  on the on the Vivance, she felt like she did not have any friends and has been very emotional. 

I also have a 10 yr. old son who is not dealing well.  He "hates her", which is breaking my heart.  I know this is coming from a 10 year old perspective...but I couldn't help breaking down into a puddle last night after they were asleep.  I know I am doing everything I can for her, but I feel like I need some support.  So here I am! 

Welcome. It must be strange to be in your position, but at least you know the procedure, right? I would recommend finding her a psychologist who isn't...well...you. A separate eye might be a more objective eye. Who is your medicating doctor? A pediatrician or a psychiatrist with the MD? How did you come to the ADHD diagnosis? How was school for her before you began meds? What was her social life like? I'm sure you know that it can take a while to determine if you are using the right med or even the right dosage of the right med. Your son (actually both children) would probably benefit from family counseling. Good luck to you all and I hope this site helps you. She could have school/peer pressures and prepuberty knocking her
around a bit, too.

Remember - it takes a while to adjust and make changes. Try giving her
only one goal at a time and let her decide on the reward - she'll be more
likely to try to get it.

In our home "hate" is a swear word, and is treated like such. If you've
accepted it so far I'm not sure how you could change it, but I would
encourage your son to articulate his thoughts more clearly. Then you can
break down for him what she has control over, and maybe use his input
to decide which behaviors you want your daughter to tackle first.

And about the meds - if your gut says it's changing her personality, get a
new medication. Who cares if it's "working" to calm her down; if she's
miserable it's not worth it.

And I second the therapy suggestion - my son is so relieved to be given
direction that doesn't in any way include the possibility of
disappointment, and he's proud of himself to see the positive changes
he's made.

Good luck!

Welcome to the board doodlebop!  And don't be so hard on yourself!   It doesn't matter what your profession is, when it's your child involved it's hard to be objective. That's just human nature and it happens to all of us!

It sounds like you're on the right track...you've tried all of the behavior techniques you can think of, diet changes, etc.  It's a good time to try meds.  You will be amazed at how your parenting techniques will actually work when you get the medication right!  With my son, NOTHING worked until we got the meds right.  Keep trying.  It's tough to get it right but once you do it can be an amazing transformation!

I also agree with the previous posters that family counseling would be a good idea.  At least counseling for your son.  Think about how hard it is for us as adults to deal with ADHD behavior and how frustrated we get (and how many tears we've cried)...then imagine how a little kid does without the coping skills that we have!  

Hang in there!  There is light at the end of the tunnel!