ADHD/ODD/SELF HARMING | ADHD Information

My son is 15yrs and was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD at the age of 7yrs. He has a statement of educational needs and attends a school for children with behavioural and emotional difficulties that has no more than 40 children in attendance, with no more than 8 per class,(in his class there are only 7).

 I was very worried when moving him from mainstream school (where he was excluded more than he was in attendance and was falling behind) to the special needs school, as I felt I was taking him out of the frying pan and putting him into the fire. Although he finds himself in very hostile situations and has on more than one occasion come home with a split lip on the whole he prefers being at this school and has not only caught up but is way ahead academically (he is so intellegent).

 I am asking for advice now about his anger, he has always had an anger issue but now both at home and at school he can become extremely angry to the point where he blacks out and remembers nothing after the event. A few examples of this are him having put his knee through a reinforced glass security door, smashed a laptop broke numerous windows, mobile phones and games console controllers, put holes in walls and had 6 teachers hold him back from beating a fellow student (he is very strong).

Obviously his anger is landing him in alot of trouble and is quite expensive, much to his disgust I stopped his allowance until the bill I had recieved for a classroom door had been paid. I felt the only way to teach him to respect other peoples property was to hit him where it hurts (in his pocket). The lesson has been learnt but unfortunately the anger is still there and he is now releasing it on himself. I asked him why he was harming himself and he tells me it's because he gets so angry he tries so hard to controll it and not cause damage to anything or anyone and feels it's better for everyone if he hurts himself.

Can anyone advise me on how to help him channel his anger away from himself ? Does anyone have any tips on anger management ?

 

 Thank u both for ur posts.

  My son is on Equasym XL 60mg daily and is reviewed every 3 to 6 months. I have been in touch with his school and The Child and Family Mental Health Team and have had some positive results. Firstly his school are arranging for him to see the school counsellor and secondly a member of the mental health team has made an appointment to help and advice me as to how to help him.

Whilst talking with my son he told me he was jealous of his sister (my son was almost 11yrs when she was born so was used to having me to himself). He feels she has all my attention and that we never have quality time together anymore, like we did before she was born. I have always invited him along, even begged him to come out with us but he would rather play his PS3. I pointed this out to him but he tells me he wants time alone with me. I have taken this on board and I am already arranging babysitters so I can take him bowling and to the cinema etc. The funny thing is I didn't think he was interested in spending time with me anymore as you both said he is a teenager now and is just like all other teenagers in some respects but nowhere near as mature as he should be because of the ADHD.I was starting to feel redundant as his mum, I thought being out with mum would damage his street cred, I feel needed again now and relieved that our bond is just as strong as it ever was. Now I just have to be careful I don't tip the balance the other way and make sure my daughter doesn't feel left out

Thank you both again for your response and kjl2691 if you remember that name please let me know

Has he been evaluated or diagnosed recently or just when he was 7?  It may be time for a re-evaluation.  Is he on medication?  If not it may be time to look into that.  My son is much younger so I don't really have any advice on how to channel the anger-sorry! But I know with my son if his medication is not right his anger can get out of control and no matter how much he wants to be good he just can't!  Also, puberty is probably hitting your son hard at this age and it may have something to do with the anger.  Also, he may benefit from counseling if he's not already involved in some.  I just watched a program on discovery health the other night about kids with bi-polar and they suggested that what these kids actually have is another condition but I can't think of the name of it right now.  It sounds a lot like what you described.  I searched their website but I couldn't find what I was looking for.

I suggest getting a re-evaluation.  He may be going through some normal teenage stuff but it could also be something more.  Counseling is always a good idea, IMO.

I just think it's so sweet that your 15 yr old son actually wants to spend time with you!  Wow, what a great thing! That's wonderful that you are already planning time together.  Who knows, this may be one of the reasons for his anger.  Sometimes, to a kid, negative attention is better than no attention at all! Maybe some of the anger was to get mom's attention.