check book | ADHD Information

WOW! I feel like I'm reading a stories about myself! Many,many yrs ago, my hubby had me "handle all our financial stuff" of course that was before he knew I was a math dummy and had problems organizing anything that didn't provide some sort of excitment for me. I never balanced a checkbook b/c I hadn't a clue how. Also after you turn 30, asking someone is just to f**king embarressing. I never had a check bounce b/c I just kept depositing my own spending money. Good thing since I did pay the phone bill twice in the same month! Now that we have a house, I have my hubby all that stuff. To this day he dosn't know what I went through just to get  ( for most pple ) a simple task done. I'm also dyslexic. Not good whan dealing with math!

I never borrowed money from other pple, but EVERY WEEK I would get a "cash advance" of maybe , that was taken out of my paycheck.

Slayer, I love to spend and the thing about going shopping is I can't focus on the things we need. A list helps, but I can't seem to concentrate, so I'm drawn to other things that interest me. Yup, lots of "stuff' little food!

Bobble, your definatly  not alone. I'm 47, on meds which makes things somewhat easier, but I still feel depressed at times b/c I know my life will never chaos free, jobs are hard to keep and my marrige I feel could end at anytime. My hubby says he really loves me, but how much of this can he take? All of this hits me at once every morning when I wake up. Life should be enjoyable, but sometimes I will find any excuse just to sleep my life away. To me thats sad, since I was always told "life is a gift", and sometimes I wish I were a returnable gift. Somehow I manage, but it's painfull. We're all in this together.

I can relate. I never balanced a checkbook in my life (though I have a degree in Business and taught accounting fo 8 years.)

Every paycheque was a routine of going around to all my friends I had borowed money from and paying them back, then seeing other friends to borrow money to survive until next payday.

I started working when I was 17 but didn't file any income tax returns until after I met my wife (I was 20) and she filed them all for me.

At one point, we decided to move. My wife was offered a good job in the new location but she had to go immediately, whereas I had 6 months left to finish school in our old town. She and my kids moved and left me in a boarding house to fend for myself.

However, knowing I couldn't handle the money, she arranged with a friendly bank teller to help me out. I had a shoebox with a chequebook in it and all the essential account information for our various bills. As I received bills in the mail, I would throw them in the shoebox as well (unopened.) 

Once a week, I took the shoebox to the bank where the teller would help me for a few minutes, telling me which cheques to write (how much and to whom) and make sure I didn't lose my phone, cable or get kicked out of my boarding house. She would also give me the cash I was allowed to have for the week.

At the time, I lived in a small town (in Newfoundland, Canada) so it was easier to get personal service from the bank. Today, technology lets us put most of this on autopilot (excellent article on this at http://www.ridethewaveonline.com/members/success_library.asp ?A=73). If you are not comfortable with computers or need help getting these things set up, there are also banks that offer this type of specialized service if you meet with the manager and explain that you have ADHD. For example, the CIBC (Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce) offers this type of service here in Canada.

 

you know, I may not balance my checkbook  after i go on meds  but I can not  convey the sense of relief  I have gotten from not being alone. I look around my daily lifge and No one I know lives in the kind of chaos I do..or  appears to anyway they may  "fake manageability" like I do....Its a relief  to not be alone.

I can relate about the shopping the only time I have ever had financial manageability  was when I was married. My ex probably thought it wasnt but from experience it was.  She paid the bills I handed over the paycheck...did ok till I got an ATM  and  constantly forgot to make entries...I dont have one now

ive been living off a piece of paper for years, all the bills i need to pay weekly are there, everything from how much i need to spend on electric,gas,rent,c/tax etc..., this is helping but some things like if i was standing in a long row of people for the bank or post office then i would just go and then later i forget to pay until i get a reminder, cause in my eyes i was paying the bills but forgot lol

i agree bobble, it is a relief that were all out there somewhere and have so much in common that others dont, we can say what we want and even if it comes out wrong we all know what we mean lol.

i done a bad thing yesterday i was in a group and someone emailed and sounded like a right arse with an attiude saying he wanted to leave now!, so me being me replied tutt tutt someone has an attiude and he emailed me back sl*gging me off, i did say to him that if he wanted to leave then why email the whole group with an arse attiude?, well as you are all like me you would know i went mad, said some bad things, he said all i do is sit on my fat arse at the pc, which started it off, i emailed him back saying not everyone on the pc is fat you know, i later find out his got a phobia of going out so i emailed him back saying" do you sit on your fat arse on pc as your too scared to go out?, well that was it wasnt it he replied that i used his disabiltly to get at him, well im my eyes it worked but i felt really bad, tried all night to say sorry but he didnt want to hear about it, i explained that i too have a disabilty and that if someone starts me off i cant stop and say hurtful things, i got told by his sister whom has a 10yr child with adhd that adults with adhd meant to act there ages at all times and not childish!, is it just me or is everyone like this?, i can act older but when someone starts me off i say hurtful things then regret it all?, i cried all night over this as i didnt mean it?, i did ask her what does she do when her child goes off on one, she replied ignore her so i replied well then lol

is anyone with me on this or was i really just a bitch?

 

WOW!  It's amazing reading all of your posts.  Like you all have said, we could be writing and reading each other's life.  I haven't balanced my checkbook since my daughter was born 11 years ago!  My house is chatoic, I rarely invite anyone over.  I am behind on almost everything.  The scary thing is that I have most people fooled, and they wouldn't believe this is "me" behind the scenes! 

First, let me first say that I have not been officially diagnosed.  My daughter was, which made me look further into ADD and I have self-diagnosed.

What bothers me most is that I did NOT used to be like this.  I got good grades in school (easily) and graduated from college.  I used to balance my checkbook to the penny and be organized!  Up until my daughter was born.  I think maybe with the additional responsibility, everything just fell apart and I could no longer function.  I had good jobs, until I got bored with the best-paying job that I had, so I left!  Boy, was that stupid!!   Well, I think I'm rambling, thanks for listening!!

 

 

Man, I never balanced my checkbook.

This fall, because of a weird bank switching situation, I would get my
paycheck, cash it from the employers bank, put half of the cash in a
drawer for the monthly mortgage, put half of what was left in the bank
for bills, and carry the rest of the cash around until the next payday. The
next payday i paid the mortgage in person.

My mother said it was stupid, my friends said it was stupid, i might lose
it, they wanted to know why i didn't put it all in the bank, and just
balance the checkbook?

Well, i didn't really ask anyone's opinion, as i recall. The crazy thing was,
for the first time in my life, the mortgage was getting paid on time and i
wasn't bouncing any checks or running out of money. Well, maybe a little
at the end. but mostly not! it was a rip snorting success! why was
everyone giving me crap when it worked FOR ME? So i caved and got a
new bank account, and deposited my paycheck and went went back to the
evil debit card and guess what? I don't have my mortgage this month.

When my money is tangible I understand how much i have spent. i may
have forgotten what i bought, but when i open my wallet i see how much
is there, and there are no outstanding checks, whether i can afford
something or not is chrystal freaking clear.

This abstract money is not for me. I am going back to the cash.debit card am the debil...me having a debit card is like  Lucy in the chocolate factory it starts  fine and ends badly  and makes a real mess along the way.

I can totally relate to all of your stories.  I have bounced many checks and hated paying the late fees.  I have also forgottem to pay credit card bills on time and had to pay late fees on those.  I only started balancing the checkbook a couple of years ago when hubby got really really mad at me.  The problem now is the debit card, I try not to use it but I hate making people wait in line for me, so I hav made a few mistakes with the debit card and I bounced a couple of checks a few months ago due to this.  Anyhow, I balance everything with a computer program and open all the bills and write dates on the envelopes of when they are do.

By the way, hubby does not take care of finances because he is probably as bad as I am.

i round everything up to the nearest dollar.  i don't actually do the math, i save that for hubby.

ie: check for 37.08 will be recorded as .00 in the checkbook.  It cuts down on having to regroup when you can never find a calculator and absolutely NEVER be able to do the Math mentally.  I usually have enough "cushion" in the bank in case a Math error does occur.

We haven't bounced a check since we've been married.  This past September we had an episode with the loan company that financed our adoption.  THEY made the mistake and our payment was processed twice.  Thanks for overdraft protection!  Of course, the loan company ended up losing in that one because they had to pay all of our overdraft fees.  It feels good not to have to take the blame on something like that.

I never write checks. I pay everything with a credit card and then pay credit card off every month. Can't be bothered with tracking everything in a checkbook. For me to stay on schedule I need things to be able to be handled quickly so this works great for me. Once a month I transer money from checking to credit card company and all is good.

 My Dr  told me even with meds I'd be facing an uphill battle because of a lifetime of bad habits( I am 43). I was married am divirced and really  havent considered living with another woman in yrs..I know  how  my chaos effect others...I really really hope with meds and therapy I can get a grip on the  Pig Pen  liek swirl  of unfinished, unadressed  projects,  bills, finacial chaos, piles of papers, forgotten appointments, missing keys, wallet, forgotten grocery lists, late videos, interrupted conversations,  and   frustrated reactions...Would be real real nice 

lol, looks like  my checkbook is  hopelessEven on medication I still have lots of issues with my brain wacking out on me whenever I have something to do that has become overwhelming because I let it go for so long.  I have considered closing my current checking account and starting over but I don't have confidence in my ability to keep up with things like balancing a checkbook.  The most useful thing I have found the medication to do is give me the feeling of being awake and alert.  I used to have kind of a fuzzy feeling all the time.  Being 47 I have many bad habits and coping mechanisms that have developed over my lifetime.  It is hard to change those even with the help of medicaiton.  I am also getting counseling but I know I am resistant to change.  Change always seems like so much work.just wondering I am starting Med treatment Tue my financial unmanageability  along with my chronioc disorganization, absent mindedness and chaos   finally forced the issue. I am just wondering if  it really helps you function better

i cant stop spending, i could go shopping and buy crap which comes to over £150 and buy no food!, this happens alot so now hubby comes with me, i cant stand infront of freezers thinking what we need as i cant focus.

sometimes i go late night shopping leaving hubby in with the kids while i quickly get some milk and come back with more crap! costing a bomb!

[QUOTE=gettingagrip] Even on medication I still have lots of issues with
my brain wacking out on me whenever I have something to do that
has become overwhelming because I let it go for so long.[/QUOTE]
Ditto..... I astound myself that I have let certain things (taxes, updating
items on my insurance policy, recording Xmas CD, etc) go for YEARS!
Each night before I go to sleep I believe I'll get right on it "tomorrow"; it's
just that those damn "tomorrows" never become "TODAYS"!!!

[QUOTE]  I have considered closing my current checking account and
starting over but I don't have confidence in my ability to keep up with
things like balancing a checkbook.  [/QUOTE]
It's really not that hard, all you have to do, is just keep a running total as
you write each check. If you do at least that much, the only surprise you'll
have is if you make any math errors, (or if the bank does). But now with
online banking, I maybe write one check every six months!

[QUOTE]The most useful thing I have found the medication to do is give
me the feeling of being awake and alert.  I used to have kind of a fuzzy
feeling all the time.  [/QUOTE]
Likewise! For many years ( I was around 46 when I was diagnosed) I
thought I had everything from depression to hypothyroid, to Chronic
Fatigue Syndrome, Candida, etc. etc. etc.. So when I finally discovered
what my "challenge" was, everything fit into place, and thankfully, the
meds (mainly Adderall) stopped the "fuzzy, cloudy feeling"...

[QUOTE]Being 47 I have many bad habits and coping mechanisms that
have developed over my lifetime.  It is hard to change those even with the
help of medicaiton.  I am also getting counseling but I know I am
resistant to change.  Change always seems like so much work.[/QUOTE]
I hear ya on that! The meds sure are not the complete answer, and I've
found any talk therapy or coaching to be completely useless. It's all on
me.....Hmm... this all sounds way too familiar... my hubby does ALL the banking and financial stuff now. I dont touch a thing!
I tried to take care of things for about a year. We even had a financial computer program, but I was always at least a hundred dollars off when I tried to balance, bills were late etc. The worst was when we changed banks and I forgot to switch out the checkbooks in my purse. I ended up writing a whole bunch of checks out of the closed account. We had to call all kinds of places and explain. Too embarrassing. Now that dh does it all- no problems (although he did lose a bill the other day and I got a good chuckle out of that).
When I was single I just never spent any money. But that wasnt any fun, either!