angry at teachers and other parents | ADHD Information
you know, my sons school starts in 3 weeks. Youngers says yeah and oldest states " i hate school". I asked him why and he said that the learning is hard AND the other kids dont like him. I feel so bad for him and as he gets older, he is starting to learn but it breaks my heart.I would consider medication along with an IEP (individual education plan) forschool.
Kcotton01, Hi. I'm also from Australia, Western Australia, in fact. My 8 yr old is in year 3 and when he started in January this year I disclosed to his new teacher that he had recently been diag ADHD and we commenced medication over the school holidays. All was ok for about the first few weeks and now it is fairly consistent that issue's are cropping up. Academically, my son is fine........above level in fact. It is his social skills, very immature, silly, loud, hyper, bossy, impulsive and not knowing when to stop. A few of the mums from my sons class have had their sons in same class as my son since kindy so we are all familiar with each other. I've even had a few of their sons over our place for playdates. However, last term there was alot going on with most of the boys in class however, what stood out was my son was involved in all the "issue's" happening and my son couldn't stop when enough was enough. I did see a group of these mums discussing what was happening at school one day and as I knew them I simply walked up to them and asked what they had heard from the teacher regarding the situations and boy, was I ganged upon! It was basically all my sons fault and their kids of course, were the innocent parties. Quite a few weeks down the track, me and all those parents avoid each other. We don't even say HI unless we have to.
I'm sorry your'e hearing bad things some parents are saying and yes, they can be worse than the kids themselves.
Maybe you could discuss with the teacher your feelings on her/him telling the whole table off and how this impacts on your son with his peers. You mentioned about your son going to the office/buddy class. I'm don't think my sons teacher does much differently. When I picked him up today he was in time out for non stop talking and silliness in class.
I do know one thing however, my sons medication does not appear to be working and I am currently seeing the Paedeatrician to alter the dose so it does have the desired effect. Mabe once that's happening, everything else will be easier to manage.
Good luck and thank you BETHANN for noting I'm from Australia.
my 8 year old is adhd ive told the school that but he still is getting treated like a problem child. he can distract kids in the class at times, be bit hypo, and sometimes doesnt do his wk. they havnt made any exceptions or done anything to help they just keep sending him to office or buddy class where he does nothing. whats worse is kids in his class wont speak to him or play with him cause teacher tells his whole table off for him talking. now this is what really has me turning red. i hear that parents who wk in the school canteen were saying how much of a feral little sh*t he is. i really wont to say something but not sure that anything will be done, hes not a bully, hes polite, but because he bit hypo hes branded a feral. bad enought my boy is an easy target for bullies but then the parents judge him too makes me wont to keep him at home and shut the door.
< id="gwProxy" ="">< ="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" ="">Is he medicated?
I have a son who we didn't medicate until the end of 1st grade and boy did it help.
Unfortunately in our little gossipy town the labeling had already been done and my son suffered through elementary school.
He is now 13 and in middle school and doing better socially.
You unfortunately have to do something to help your child control his impulses and for us, medication was the answer. ]
As for the rest of the ignorance at school, well I would go to the principal and address the teacher, the parents at the canteen as well as the kids in his class. The school needs to step up to the plate and do their JOB while school is in session. They can't help with things that go on when school is over, but their job is to help during school.
If that doesnt work, contact the superintendant.
Have you been intouch with your special ed department? If your son is diagnosed by a doctor, he may qualify for accommodations. There is lots the school can do but isn't. And believe me, your son is NOT the only ADHD'er at his school.
Please ask any questions, even about meds. I have been through this situation as well.
I wanted to mention that another newbie from Australia is posting here on this forum, Tara4us. You may want to private message her because you are both in the same country. She may be of more help than me in some ways because of that. I am in USA and I know schools can do things differently from country to country, as well as with medications.
But still post any questions. 
I am also in the US, but here as parents we can request an IEP (Individualized Education Program) and it can help a ton with ADHD kids. We have one in place for my oldest child and with para support to keep her focused, she is making all of her benchmarks. Maybe you can contact the school by way of the special education dept. or the district office to find out if that is offered there.
Both of my daughters have ADHD and after they were medicated, things ogt better for them in school and socially. Not to say we don't have issues-we're dealing with impulse control right now- but things are 200% better than they were.
I also found here that if I go and directly speak to the teachers and school staff about what they can expect from my kids and what the best way I deal with it at home, then everyone seems to be better prepared to handle the behaviors. Unfortunately, I run into many families with an ADHD child who gets labeled 'THAT kid!' It's hard for people to look past the behaviors and see what amazing kids we have, but if we persevere and help inform other parents about the situations I have to believe that we can create more tolerance for them.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I pray for patience in your school system! I am so glad I found this site because now we can support each other and not feel the weight of the world!
well, my son, in 2nd grade was bullied, picked on and assaulted at school. I spoke to the teacher. She would not send notes home, would not send the kids to guidance. I walked into school after I left the er from night shift and let the principle have it and told her that this was going to stop or else I was going to contact the district and a attorney. The main child was called in with his father and after that, it stopped until the last week of school.
I had a 504 plan put into place for my ds and his 3rd grade teacher was a god send. My sons grades went up, he told me no one picked on him all year. Maybe they didnt like him, but they didnt pick on him. I told the principle that I hoped she would choose as well for 4th grade!!!!!
good luck
thanks all for your comments. yes he started medication at the start of the year. unfortunatly the school he is in now is a small school in south australia of about 140 kids, so they cant offer him much as they dont have any special classes. he does get taken once a weeks for social skills, but tells me that teacher always asks him if he takes tablets for his silliness. there are 2 other schools in this town that he did attend but after being attacked by other children i moved him. i have told the teacher he has been diognosed with adhd but he still ends up out of the class for distruption other kids learning. no i havnt said anything to the teacher about telling his whole table off for him talking but i do have an interview soon so i plan to. the thing is ive heard the teacher at the door talking to my son, saying no one in the class is going to be his friend till he changes his behaviour. it angered me but not sure if that just me over reacting. ive contemplated many times about home schooling him so its less stress on me and so he doesnt have to deal with the bullying and getting run down.its very hard to deal with my other son starts school soon, although he is not adhd im still worried hes going to go threw the same things his brother been threw with kids and school and i cant be there to protect them
< id="gwProxy" ="">< ="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" ="">The tide turned for my son when I started showing up at school. I was in
contact with his teachers and principal or vice principal at least weekly.
For the 2nd half of the 2nd grade I picked him up from school every
single day so I could hear what was happening at school and keep the
lines of communication open. The school saw that I was willing to help
them every way I could, and whenever I heard about him acting some way
I'd give them suggestions, and I also very closely monitored what they
were doing for him to make sure they were treating him well.
Your son's teacher sounds like a nightmare. I would go right up the line
until you got someone to stick up for your son. One of my greatest
moments ever happened when I was dealing with my son's 1st grade
teacher. His doctor said he needed a checklist to make sure he did
everything he needed to. His teacher didn't want him to have it. So the
special ed director told her she didn't have a choice, she was required to
give him the checklist. It was awesome!
Remember, when dealing with ADHD, nothing's ever going to easily fall
into the stereotype. And that's fine. Because it lets you get radical - do
whatever works. Who cares about making nice and conforming. Do what
you need to for your son. For example, he's being disruptive in class -
instead of pulling him out as punishment, plan for him to get out of the
classroom when he does desk work so he can concentrate better. Getting
him away from distractions is the probably the only way he's going to
learn anyway. Who knows, maybe he's smarter than everyone, he knows
that getting away from the other kids is the only way he can concentrate
so he makes a disturbance on purpose to get away from them. That's
what my son did. Give him what he needs and he won't have to go find it
himself.
Now, it was a struggle to get the school turned around. I had to wear
them down to the point that they just did what I said to shut me up.
Then, when it worked, okay, lets keep going with it. But it was so worth
the fight. And the school now respects me as a resource, rather than
being just another a PitA parent.
Good luck!
thankyou so much for your advise will definatly help. i also go to the school every day, in the morning and afternoon. mornings are to help him remember his morning chores and to see how he sopcialises in the playgroung and afternoons i also see the teacher to see whats going on. teachers make me a little intimidated and nervous so trying to tell them what i wont and they should do is very hard for me when im talked over. but ill try to get the courage to say what i can and was going to present the teacher with notes i took from on line. thanks so much for your help.< id="gwProxy" ="">< ="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" ="">I always thought once my kids started school, my life would be so much easier. How wrong I was!
Your son's teacher dosn't sound as if he/she is doing a great deal to help your son and is making comments that shouldn't be said. A teacher should not ask a child if they have taken their tablets for their silliness. You said you heard your sons teacher tell him no-one would want to be friends with him if he didn't behave.........the teacher should not say this in front of other students. All the classmates will pick up what the teachers interpretation (sp?) of your son is and then they will think the same way.
I certainly would be having a meeting with the teacher (have all your notes on hand) and take your partner/husband and let him do some talking.
My son has had a few issues at school in classroom and playground but a few off hand are of my son being in time out for something he has said and once I investigate further, my son didn't actually say it , another kid did but everyone thought it was my son so he got the time out etc.....
I agree with the other posts, firstly check med's are working properly and find way's to help your son in class and then discuss with teacher. Surely the teacher has some bright ideas about what to do to prevent your son getting distracted instead of just placing him in time out.
Good luck and it's not easy, Im still dealing with it.
See if your son's teacher can turn it around so that your son isn't labeled. The other children in the classroom are watching her and they are being empowered to bully him, label him, just by seeing him get in trouble. These students may even lie and blame your son for things that they do if they think they can get away with it. Just a heads up. That happened to us, but it blew up in the childrens faces because the teacher did know who the real culprits were.
The teacher and the son should be the ones protecting your son during school. But it sounds like they chose not to.
You can't tell me that your son is the only ADHD in the school or even his class?!
Also, real important, if your son is being silly, goofy, impulsive, etc. then his current medication is NOT working. He may need the dose increased OR the medication changed. What do you think?
I know that my son took a while to level off on a dose that lasted well over a year or two.
He takes concerta, what does your son take? Also we use guanfacine/tenex - same thing - to help his impulsiveness. I wonder if that is available in Australia or something similiar. Just a thought.
I am also upset to read that your son was attacked at another schooo, possibley two - did the school help your son and you? Or did they just ignore it?! I am horrified.
Please let us know if we can help in any way!!
I also forgot to mention that teachers, principals made me too nervous. They found that my weakness and they took advantage of it. I started sending my husband over. That put an end to it.
Do everything you can not to let the school intimidate you, that is what they want to do. That empowers them and leaves you as their victim.
If your husband or a friend can go with you just for moral support then bring them, bring someone so you feel empowered. Once you get your self confidence up and take control, then they won't bully you. And that is what they are doing, they are bullying you.
Please let us know what we can do for you!! And your son!!
i moved his school because since reception he was getting picked on mainly by year 6 and 7s. such as he was playing at back of over near the trees, the older kids all started throwing pine cones at him about 20 of them so i was told, also he was chocked by a older student again both of these occasions i went to the school they spoke to the other kids who all got together and said it didnt happen and that he was lying so they believed them. i was told this did happen by a 12 year old girl who lives next door who witnessed it all still nothing. hes was kicked in the nuts, chased punched in the nose, pushed against the fence and threatened. it lasted till i pulled him out in year 2. the other school was a private christian school he wasnt bullied there but only lasted there 4 weeks, they said he had to leave because he was too hypo and wouldnt do his wk or listen to instruction.we do occasionally see kids who come up to him and say "your the silly kid who was expelled arent you"my son is on dexiamphetimenes now. he has settled down a lot and at home i barely have a problem with him thats why i dont understand how he is at school.
i am recently a single mum so dont have someone to go up there but that would be easier if i did.
i picked him up today and he was crying something he never does especially at school, because he was sent to the office for not finishing his wk on time, i dont think that was nessasary as he is a slow writer.
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Your son may be overstimulated when he is not at home. My son was like this. He also has sensory integration in addition to his adHHHd.
Australia has to have education plans to help each individual to learn?! I don't know the school policies there. Why not reach out to Tara4us, she posted above you. She also lives in your country and has an adhd'er. She can help you!!
I think what your son and you have been put through is disgusting. His teachers at the other school where he was bullied are all ridiculous. I am sure they knew the children where not telling the truth, but they wanted your son out because he needed extra help and time and the teachers would actually have to WORK with him! Disgraceful! 
And the "christian" school, well that was a joke as well! I hope if you paid any money you got it back!!
He may need another med in addition to what he is on to help with overstimulation. My son takes guanfacine/tenex - one is the generic version. It really helps calm him down in addition to his adhd meds, which is concerta - version of ritalin but it is long acting. His meds are only taken in the morning and that gets us through the day and school, as well as homework.
Again, please reach out to Tara4us, she can help you even better. She knows how schools and teachers are in Australia, as she lives there as well. Maybe you are not too far from each other and could even phone or meet in person? Maybe even a playdate for your children! That would be very nice!
Please keep posting any updates, as we do care about your son and you!! 