Having another child after ADHD diagnosis | ADHD Information

I'm not sure where to ask this, but here goes.....

I have a wonderful little boy, who also happens to have ADHD. He's 7 now - he was diagnosed at 6.

DH and I have had several conversations about having more children, but it seems like we have our hands full with DS. DH and I both work full time, and then we have the usual Dr. visits, therapy appointments, and TaeKwonDo, which is a wonderful activity for DS.

Sometimes I wish DS had a sibling, but sometimes I'm almost glad he doesn't. There's also a likelihood of having another child with ADHD.

Anyone ever decided to have more/not to have more children after your child was diagnosed?

scrapper440392.2916435185I've got two. I didn't know when I had the second. There's lots of things to consider -
Does your spouse have ADHD? If yes, and you work, a second ADHD kid really puts you over the edge because you do not have someone to do half the compensating for the ADHD kids. It's all you tracking/planning/managing/organizing three other people. When they start school, it's a lot. My son's psych told me this goes on through the high school years -- having to rely on the parent for organization.
Age is a factor. No way would I take that on after age 35. It takes a lot of energy. Chasing after an ADHD 2 yo is 3x harder than other kids.
It's a lot easier if one of you stays home. Mine do not do homework unless I am literally sitting there. They are too distracted, too unfocused. This is a logistical nightmare when both of you work.
If you've waiting 5+ years between children, they will not benefit from typical sibling interaction. They will be too far apart, and more like only children.

Just as a note of caution...we have three.  DD, age 9, no issues.  Our son, age 7,(middle child) has ADHD as well as other stuff..  We adopted our DD, age 3 about the time we were really focusing in on DS's behavior.  DS's behavior went way over the top after we had a baby in the house...  not as much attention, supervision, tired mommy etc.  AND..our youngest DD has picked up on her brother's behavior ..not the good stuff.  At three, she spits, hits, and calls names.  We are not sure whether she has issues or if she is just modeling his behaviors.  ADHD in the family puts enormous stress and pressure on Mom and Dad.  But, it also is difficult for siblings that have to put up ADHD'er behaviors 24/7 too. 

But, for DS..his sisters are an enormous blessing...he is one that WILL NOT PLAY BY HIMSELF for even a second.  So, he has two built in playmates that love him. AND especially the 9 year old ....is very understanding and forgiving of his behaviors.  Our DS lacks imagination..and DD is very imaginative she brings all this to their play.  He is blessed..in deed.

 

 

Our oldest son is our ADHD'r, he is almost 8.  We had our 2nd son when he was 3 1/2.  DS hadn't been diagnosed yet but it was around the time that our 2nd son was born that I begin to wonder.  Thankfully our 2nd son does not have any issues but he is still a very busy 4 yr old!  I've always wanted 3 kids, hubby wanted 2...honestly, with how busy we are with the two we have, I have decided for my sanity that it is not best for us to continue on to #3 and hubby agrees fully.  The average appts and energy that it takes to raise 2 children is exhausting and to add the stressors of ADHD into the picture, definately multiplies things to another level.  We both work full time so our time is split as it is, adding a third to the mix would be very stressful for us.  I can definately relate to your question, for us it has deterred us from having a 3rd child, however I don't know that it would've deterred us from having a 2nd, even if we had a definate diagnosis.    i had my second son when my boy was 5. it was very stressful at first because that was when my son started school and began to realise he was adhd. at first i couldnt leave them alone as my 8 year old would always push him over or get in his face. they are now 8 and 3 and a half they are the best of friends. my youngest has no signs of the disorder as hes very quiet and can play with kids fine and do tasks where his brother was very hypo couldnt stop figeting and jumping over everyone. but does pick up some of the traits from seeing some things his brother does, like sillyness, throwing things, at time breaking things.

hope this helps
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I have 2 children with my son being almost 9 and having adhd. His sister is 18 months younger in age. Up until my son started kindergarden at almost 4.5 yrs old, I was run ragged at home alone with the both of them. Whilst my daughter dosn't have adhd she use to copy all her brothers behaviours.  I always wanted 3-4 kids but even till this day with my kids being older, they wear me and hubby down (mainly adhd son and then daughter feeds off of him and so it goes!).  I know there is no way I could ever cope with another one.   You say your son is 7 now so there would be about a 8+ year age difference between the two of them........managable.  You also say you and hubby both work fulltime. Would this require giving up work for you?  As for another child having adhd, this would be a chance you would have to take. Many have just 1 x child with adhd and another child without. This is a very personal decision that only you and your family can make and I wish you all the best with your decision making. I know it can't be easy.