afraid to walk or ride bike to school | ADHD Information

I have an 11 yr. old boy who has been diagnosed with ADHD. We are about 3/4 of a mile from his school, therefore he does not get to ride a bus. This year I have to get my 2nd grader on the bus when my 11 yr. old has to be at school so we have told him he needs to ride his bike or walk. He says he will not do it and wants me to drive him. Do we force him (which I don't know how we would go about that) or just drive both kids, which isn't fair to my younger one since he loves the bus? We have even told him we would practice this summer and he refused. Has anyone else had problems with their kids being anxious about walking or biking to school and any suggestions on how we should handle this?

Thanks for any help!!Your child probably has anxiety about going to school alone and if you insist that he do so it will just give him more anxiety. Hes probably fearful, not oppositional. In this crazy and dangerous world, putting aside his anxiety about going it alone, it might be safer to drive him as 3/4 of a mile is quite a distance if your walking, especially for an 11 year old child. JMO. Good luck Luvmykids02, thank you for your post. I am thinking that you are probably right. He is the kind of kid who get's anxious about EVERYTHING!! But we also want him to become more independent. There are a few kids who do ride their bikes and the parents are constantly asking if Ben will walk or ride to school with their kids and when I tell them why he doesn't ride or bike to school they all give me a lecture about letting go or making him do it even if he doesn't want to. What they don't understand is that I would LOVE for him to feel less anxious and do more things on his own.   I need to learn to ignore them and just do what is best for my child. UGH!!!    Your absoltuely right mepolansky. You know what is best for your child and only you will know when your child is ready. As for the others, tell them you will "let go" when you feel yoru child is ready and then kindly state you wish to drop the subject. Others dont need to know your business and you dont have to explain anything to anyone. Also, with these children there is a 30% maturity lag so while other children may be ready at age 11, your child will take a little longer which is fine. We have to "let go" at a slower pace The last thng you want to do is cause your child more anxiety so do what you know is best. Your gut instinct is always right Luvmykids0240407.4608564815

There is no reason for other parents to know why he doesn't walk or ride his bike. Make it about you, in such a way that they don't think about lecturing. This is probably a little extreme, but maybe worth a shot:

In our small town, we live about a quarter mile from the secondary school. Because we live on a highway, the bus picks up at our driveway. However, if he had to walk and I didn't want him to, I would simply say that walking at that time of day is dangerous for several reasons. 1) Lots of traffic from people going to work and high school kids who don't pay attentioin driving to school. 2) One look at the national sex offender locator website will show that there are WAY more registered offenders living in your area than you think. It's too easy, with morning traffic, for a kid to get snatched, and it happens more close to their home than otherwise.  

What't the earliest he can be at school? Do they have a breakfast program or something where you can take him earlier and still get the other to the bus stop? Good luck with them. 

whenever my child is anxious, I work with them in order to help them overcome what they are anxious about. It may be starting a new school or the first day of school jitters, etc.

I wonder if given a little time and your son seeing the other children riding their bikes and/or walking, that he will eventually want to join them.

I would ease off him, it could cause him even more anxiety, and drive him to school. Eventually he may come around, when he is ready.

Maybe even drive one of the other neighborhood children so if you drop your son off a little early, they are NOT alone. And keep an eye on that, you don't want anything to happen to them. Schools usually announce what time they can get there and be supervised.

You can make it work!!

We also drive and this will be the first year, after 2 years, of having our 2 children at the same school at the same time. We have been juggling it as well.

Please, post us how it all goes.

I have to admit, I would be anxious about letting an 11 yr old walk to school by himself.  I would trust my 11 yr old, but would worry about sexual predators.  I know, I probably watch too much news.  I would be much more comfortable letting my 11 yr old walk to school with 1 or 2 other kids, like there is safety in numbers.  Does he have any friends he could walk to school with? Maybe he would be more comfortable if he did not have to do it alone. Thank you everyone for all of your great postings. My son had his appointment with the psychologist on Tuesday and I excpected her to tell me to just drive him. Instead she told us to absolutely NOT drive him. She said he needs to overcome his anxieties by taking baby steps . She worked out a practice plan with him and I called 2 friends that will come ride with him. He showed her the route he would take and he wanted us to ride 1/2 way with him and than the whole way and than he wanted to go the whole way with his 2 friends.
He was in tears but he has done all 3 ways and says he is ready for the 1st day of school. We will just keep practicing until next Wednesday. I think once we told him he HAD no choice and that we were NOT driving him, he was scared but got up the courage. He was jumping up and down and so proud of himself . We told him that if he rode his bike to and from school for 3 days that we would get him a cell phone that he can only call us on. Nothing like a little incentive. That way if he falls, bike chain falls off or gets scared we are only a call away. He is still scared but I think he is going to gain so much independence and confidence from this. You just want to protect them forever! mepolansky40409.534224537