My daughter is 7 years old and in the 2nd grade this year. I love her, but she is what I would call a difficult child. She has always been "unique" and challenging. She is very smart, but scattered. She never pays attention to anything longer than a moment. I used to compare her to a humming bird. She was a never a child that would sit and be read too, and as she got older her father absolutly ignored her because he couldn't stand to be around her energy constantly. I divorced him and I am lucky enough to have my current boyfriend in our life. He is calm and understanding and loves my children. Unfortunatly my 3 year old has better behavior than my 7 year old. You can tell her something what feels like 1,000 times, but the second you turn around she does it. School has been an adventure. Her kindergarden was really hippy dippy and the teacher didn't really acknowledge their behavior too much. In that class the teacher felt it was normal and okay for students to get up and do pretty much whatever they wanted during class. I noticed then that she started not finishing products, didn't want to read, didn't want to practice writting. I spoke with her teacher who said she seemed happy at school and was progressing normally. She had a rough transition into 1st grade. Her original first grade teacher was really tough on the kids, especially after the "no rules" style they had in kindergarten. We moved about 1/4 of the way into the school year and to a new school with a much better teacher. She was really nice and very understanding. Staci did "average" in school over all but did bad in citizenship. She never improved from the beggining to the end of the year. She seemed behind other kids that I know her age but her teacher assured me she is right on track. All summer I tried to find books for her to enjoy. For her books absolutly cannot have pictures or she cannot read them. She will only pay attention to the pictures. She also cannot read unless she is in a room with virtually ZERO distraction. Today feels like the END OF MY ROPE. Week two of 2nd grade and it has already begun. I tried to explain to her teacher that she tends to be sneaky... the teacher looked at me like I am being too hard on her. Week one she started not bringing home corrected papers that showed she hadn't finished her work. I talked to the teacher again and she finally started working with me to make sure I get the paperwork I am suposed to get. They have behavior cards in class, her card has been yellow all week because she cannot stop talking to others. They recieve 20 minutes every day in class to read. She hasn't been able to read ANYTHING yet and already flunked one reading test. She also flunked her first spelling test. I spoke with her teacher Wed. at back to school night and she assured me she is right on track. I guess if they do not finish their in class work during the week they have to bring it home to do on the weekend. So here I sit almost in tears with a stack of 10 worksheets she hasn't completed. A book she has only read 15 pages into (me working with her every night for 30 min-an hour) and I feel like I am CRAZY. She also had a horrible experience with Softball this last spring. The team would joke that they knew if I didn't make it to a game because they didn't hear the usual "Stand up Staci.... Stop chasing bugs Staci... Watch the ball Staci... Please stop making sand castles Staci!!" Her coach was ready to kill her, her teammates were ready to kill her. It was painful to watch her play as much as I knew she was having a good time. She is not an unhappy kid for the most part but OMG I feel like I am chasing my own tail. I am also a student right now and haven't had a chance to touch my own homework for the past two weeks because I am trying so desperatly to get my oldest to UNDERSTAND anything. The teacher said "only do 20 minutes of homework a night if they don't finish oh well." It takes me 20 minutes to get her to sit down to do homework. Am I crazy? To me there seems to be a serious problem, although her teachers just label her "difficult" or "unique" I am affraid of letting this go too long, I want her to do well, I want her to like school. Today I was explaining to her why I am so upset and she kept looking behind me, finally I said "What is it? What are you looking at while I am talking to you??!!" She looked at me and said "I am looking at the pictures we took at the fair of the dinosaurs and was wondering what it would be like if dinosaurs were real...." I had to keep my composure. I just wanted to start crying. You just want to scream "WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO MEEEEE!!!" I am just SO SO SO tired of teachers looking at me like A) I must not be working with her or B) that I am too hard on her! Any ideas? Am I tooting the ADHD horn too soon? Anyone else have this sort of experience? I am just desperate and don't know what to do anymore. 
You have come to the right place!!! I am so sorry to hear all that you have been through. You have been patient and persistent for long enough, it is time to get some real help. Talk to Staci's primary doctor and start the process to have her evaluated for all behavior issues. She certainly sounds like it might be ADHD, but there could be other things as well. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and PDD-NOS in kindergarten. The PDD-NOS was changed to Asperger's Syndrome when he was 10 yrs old. We see a pediatric behavioral specialist (MD) but others on this forum recommend seeing other types of specialists. It may depend on what's available in your area.
Good luck and keep up the good work. Our kids are unique and challenging but the effort is worth it.
Susie
Is there any subjects she does well in? I know sometimes I would like to toss the homework sheets that my daughter already knows how to do and instead work on only the ones I know she needs practice on. Maybe you could work something out with the teacher if that's the case with your little girl too.
I don't even know how to bring this up with her doctor. What kind of testing usually occures. My main issue is as I've mentioned is her teachers say she is a social butterfly and doesn't pay attention, but that she's right on track. I haven't mentioned my concern with a learning disorder etc. with them so I don't know how I am suposed to go about it. I've always thought that was something teachers brought to the attention of parents. They seem to think that a C average is normal and an almosting flunking citizenship grade is normal. I feel like they think I just don't work with her. Not to mention she is so secretive about school. I volunteered to work in her class so I will be able to witness her in class first hand on Monday and get a better idea of what is going on with her.
Print out your original post and take it to Staci's doctor. A good doctor can take that information and ask you some specific questions and know which way to send you for testing. You can also request testing through most school systems but it is slow and they will try to put you off because they don't want to have to pay for it. I would also recommend not taking Staci to the appointment where you present all this information to the doctor. You will be calmer and can answer the questions more openly.
I agree with Mamamia, only work on the worksheets that Staci doesn't understand. My son wouldn't finish his work in school because it was boring and he already knew how to do that!!!!
Most important of all at this point, take care of yourself. You can't help your daughter if you are sick. Keep up the good work, I know how frustrating it is.
csagreene40412.2538310185Take some time, read through these posts, and get some basics down. It
feels really horrible when you've finally gotten to the point of taking steps
to make things better, but it does get better, and faster than you realize.
First of all, I think you should listen to your daughter's teacher. If she
says 20 minutes, do 20 minutes only. Forget about the incomplete work.
Initial them so the teacher knows you saw them, and send them back.
I would request an IEP meeting. IEP stands for individualized education
plan. Some of the things it calls for could be having your daughter do
her work in a small quiet room - so she actually does it instead of getting
distracted in class. She could get modified work, so she doesn't have to
do "busy work" - that one made a world of difference to my son. She
could have extra break periods during the day so she can burn off some
energy. My son has social group work, so he knows when he can be silly
and when he needs to act more serious in school. It could be OT stuff so
that if there's any physical restriction your daughter has - poor
handwriting is a common one for ADHD - that can be worked on.
As far as the testing goes, there are a lot of surveys people take - you,
her teacher, her babysitter, etc - describing her behavior. There can be
timed tests and memory tests and distraction tests.
This is a lot to take in, but here's the really good news - you can do it at
your own pace. If you take a couple of months to educate yourself it
won't make that big a difference. She's only in the 2nd grade - if she
loses ground academically her IEP will get her right back on track in no
time. I'd watch for social problems - that's when you know you have to
make the move, if she starts feeling down on herself.
Let us know how it's going!
