Me and ADD | ADHD Information

Posted: 12 December 2004 at 2:24am | IP Logged WoW, well I am not sure where to start, I have to admit its nice to find a forum specifically about adult add.

I have been somewhat in denial about my condition for years now, theres a small handful of people in the world that know I have add and it tends to get strange looks and stupid questions from people when it was brought up in conversation, so I just shyed away from talking about it, but its always been there.

Every once and awhile I sort of remind myself (or am painfully reminded by others) that I still live with ADD and I will do some surfing and see whats new in the field, I cant imagine such a thing as a cure, its such a part of who I am, ADD is me.

I suppose theres no harm in pointing out that im a 27 year old guy and I was diagnosed when I was around 6 or 7, I started on methelphenadate back then, later moved on to Ritalin and was on that for years, I actually wonder if Ritalin triggered near psychosis in me during high school, some very strange things and thoughts happened then, a time I would rather forget.

I moved to the other side of the country just to get away from the bad memories, I have managed so far, things did get better once I hit 20ish, things seemed to focus a bit more and the haze I felt I lived under for years seemed to disappear somewhat.

I exhibit all the classic symptoms of adult ADD, boredom is the absolute worst thing imaginable, dont really fit in with any social groups, very forgetful, cant handle tasks too long, its really f**ked me up, I mean I did it, like I said earlier, "IT" (add) is me but its the part of me I really wish I could change since it seems to have caused so much pain throughout my life.

I am in one of those slumps that seem to last for years, I cant seem to get my sh*t together. 

I am bareing my soul hoping someone can tell me a good example of how they work with this disorder, like I said I have managed thus far, lieing to myself sometimes and running away when that wouldnt work, occasionally facing my demons head on but mostly feeling pretty powerless to the patterns of this disorder which seem to rip away any real progress I feel I make.

As my first posting I throw this out into the crowd, what tips would you offer ? I am reviewing medication but I am a bit freaked out, as I mentioned before I really think Ritalin took me dangerously close to a psychotic breakdown in high school, not good. 

So let me know what you think, does your story have a different ending ?  How the hell do you pull yourself out of this disorder ?  What meds work for you ?