Question re: school reward/punishment | ADHD Information

Hi, We have decided to take our almost 9 yr old son (ADHD) off the med's as it seemed the higher dose of med's the worse his behaviour was getting. Today is day 2 of no meds. His school teacher put into place just this week a reward system where she and my son focus on 2 things at a time.......this week not interupting and putting up hand to ask questions/talk and the other is speaking nicely to other classmates. All has been reasonably well for the first 2 days (not perfect but alot better) but the 3rd day was medium and yesterday with no meds was constant interupting etc............big difference and today my son is at home ill (bad cold, asleep actually). I did tell his teacher we were taking him off meds and I'm wondering if that s the reason she has noticed a big difference in his interupting yesterday. Maybe the meds were doing moe than what we though but just had the dose wrong (have tried various doses over past 9 months).

With the reward sysem, my son got 10 mins free time end of the day at school if he got so many smileys so first 2 days he got that, on 3 rd day he didn't quite make it. If ne reached so many smiley faces by end of week, school asked if we could do a home base reward so my son asked for a special school lunch order on Monday and it looked as though he'd get it. he only needs 2 smileys to go but today being sick, he'll miss out. Would you still give the home base reward (bear in mind yesterday he had lots of sad faces for interupting)?

Also, apparantly (I briefly sawq his teacher this morn when I took my daughter to class) my son was suppose to have restricted play today because he didn't get the "mrking" he was suppose to reach on this reward system. This didn;t seem right to me.  Do you think my son should be punished with restricted play? (eat lunch outside deputy principals office and play in that area for whole lunch break)

I know my son is trying to remember to put his hand up when talking etc.......and there are other kids doing the same thing as my son  but it just seems as though punishing him this way could make him more angry, upset and not want to go to school. At present, he likes school. I would think him missing the "10 mins free time" at end of the day would be punishment enough.

Any ideas anyone???

Thanks heaps

For my son, having a goal to reach definitely works better than
threatening him with a punishment. And he needs to be reminded often
about his goal. His teachers come up with a non-verbal signal - like
quietly knocking the blackboard or squeezing my son's shoulder - so it's
not obvious to the other kids, but he knows what it means.

My son can earn "weekend privileges" based on how well he does at
school. We'll go to a movie, or he'll get an extended play date, something
like that, if he's had at least 3 good days at school. It's really loose and
easy for him to earn. It's more used to motivate him to behave well the
next week, but if he's really had an awful week, he doesn't get it.

As far as what's going on at school, it is better for any punishment to
happen immediately. So if they do poorly one day, they should not get
the punishment the next day. Firstly, kids forget why they're being
punished, and secondly, it extends their bad feelings into the next day, so
it perpetuates bad behavior rather than discourages it.

Also - restrictive playtime? Didn't work for my son. As a matter of fact,
when he's really getting ramped up, the best thing for him is to go run
around outside so he can burn off some energy.

It sounds like his school is trying, which is great, but they don't quite
understand how ADHDers are. He's being treated like a regular child. It
needs to be tweaked just a bit. It's really hard to get through to schools,
because they think they've had the experience and education and they
know what they're doing so they resent some parent coming in telling
them what to do because they think you want them to coddle your kid. If
I were you I would request a meeting with the teacher to go over the
plan. I would go through each step, point out how it could be adapted to
your son, and tell her why. Ask her to try to do it slightly differently just
on a trial basis to see if it works better for everyone.

And as far as your home reward - I would give it to him. If my son misses
a day then his goal is lowered - the goal is based on the number of days
in the school week, it's not set in stone.

And now that I've said all that - those are my opinions based on my
experience with my son. You're your child's parent and you know his
situation and the school. Make your own decisions based on his best
interests. For example, concerning giving him the weekly reward even
though he didn't quite make it, if he's extremely inflexible that might not
sit well with him.

I don't like the consequence being so delayed.  If he's having a good day, why should he have a consequence at lunchtime for what he did yesterday?  It doesn't set the right tone for the rest of the day.

Obviously I'm answering too late whether to let him get the special lunch today, but I would have prorated the week.  If he has to earn X smiley faces in 5 days, calculate how many that is per day.  If that was earned in 4 days, then the reward was earned.  I'd use this same system on all weeks that don't contain 5 school days.

Mom2ADHDboy40434.2974189815Holy cow. NO! I know it's a major pain, but you probably have to educate the teacher and the administrators on the basics of ADHD, because at your school they are members of what I call the I Don't Get It Club.

"Provide help for deficits at the moment it is needed, not negative feedback when it is already too late. Unfortunately, the simple reality is that punishment does not usually teach the needed behaviors.   This is because many children with ADHD have difficulty “doing what they know,” not “knowing what to do.”   They already “know,” for example, that they should come to class prepared. Once we understand that punishment has not been working, we are ready to provide relief for their disabilities by guiding them at the moment guidance is needed—rather than continued disbelief that they did it wrong again."Jessica N40435.9229976852