Am I being oversensitive? | ADHD Information

Oh my gosh!!!!!

My mouth was wide open with disbelief in this!!! WHattttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!! Are they crazy. I seriously was thinking of asking for their phone number because REALLY that is the craziest thing I have ever heard.

I would have been up to that principal's office every day until it was banished.

It is like wearing a scarlett letter!!! I am truly shocked!!!!!! Truly.

You should get the superintendant or some higher up in the county to hear about this.

 

 

That's horrible. Out and out discrimination. How can schools think this sort
of segregation is okay?

If it was me, I'd keep my son home from school that day.Thanks everyone for the responses, and the support. Just an update...after speaking with the principal this morning I was hopeful our son would come home from school today with a notice that there had been a change in plans and that everyone could wear their costumes on Friday. No such luck. So we'll give it one more day and then we very well may keep him home just as you said, Corrina. And when I write his absence note, it will state in no uncertain terms the reason why we kept him home!No...I don't think you are over-reacting either.  That is something that is supposed to be fun for EVERYONE, not just those that have "earned" enough points.  Children likes ours don't have the same capabilities as other children to "earn" good behavior points, no matter how hard they try and some consideration needs to be given for that.  By what you said, it sounds like the rewards have already been given to each individual who earned them (and probably more privately) so why rub it in to those few who didn't earn it even more?  I hope the princepal does something about it & makes a change, please keep us posted and good luck.

I haven't been on the boards much since summer but I am so angry right now, and what better place to vent than here! We took our son off meds last May. Long story short, he was much better behaved on the meds and the school was thrilled, but we were very concerned with the side effects. He had a great summer without medication and we had high hopes for first grade, but unfortunately it's been a real struggle for him so we will probably be trying a new med in the near future.

So to get to the point...a notice comes home yesterday to let parents know Friday will be "Fall Festive Day" and as a "special treat" for all first graders who have earned 75 "passport points" (given out for good behavior on a daily basis and have already been redeemed for rewards) they get to wear their Halloween costumes to school. For the children who haven't, they can dress in black and orange if they want but no costumes. Turns out our son, along with 2 other students in his class, didn't earn the 75 points. The other 18 students did, and will be in costume. I am so furious. Why not just have him wear a scarlet letter L for loser on his shirt??? Doesn't the school realize that this creates a perfect forum for ridicule, exclusion, and hurt feelings? I'm all for rewards for good behavior, but not at the expense of another child. This is more like a punishment for bad behavior rather than a reward for good behavior.

When I dropped our son off at school this morning, I went straight to the office with the notice in hand and asked to speak with the principal. Of course the secretary says he's not available (as usual) so I told her I would sit and wait until he was. He eventually meets with me and I handed him a copy of the notice and asked if he was aware of it. He seemed not to be and said he would look into it, but he didn't commit one way or the other. If something isn't done about this I plan on escalating my efforts.

My question is.......am I overreacting?

Kathleen051540478.3246180556

Hi Kathleen,

No I don't think you are overreacting.  We are a homeschool family..so I don't have any experience with the school system.   But, this seems terribly cruel.  Not only is it punishing your son for behavior he (for the most part) can't control..but it is also basically creating a "Us (good kids) vs. Them (bad kids)" identity.

I hope you are successful in having this changed for your son's benefit.  We don't exclude our son from fun things based on behavior..he wouldn't get to do anything. 

Be his champion..he is blessed to have you!

What was the result of this?  I can't believe that a school would use this approach for any age student, let alone first graders.  This is horrible and you are not over reacting and you are being nice than I would have been.  Good for you for "waiting" for the principal. 

I'm reading this late, but it is making me so angry and sad. 

Do you know the parents of the other two children?  If you do, maybe you could chat w/them & all three of you send your kids to school in costume & make it a point to speak directly w/the teacher that day, telling him/her exactly what you think that you will not allow your children to be discriminated against & that if he is asked to take off his costume because of this "rule" then you will file a formal complaint.  I'm not familiar with the public schools & how formal complaints are filed (we go to a private school) but there must be some way to do it and I would assume this is grounds for one, especially citing discrimination.  As much as it would be making a point to just keep your child home that day, it still means that your child misses out on the fun and it would be no skin off the teachers back and he/she needs to be held accountable.

This is so blatantly wrong on so many levels. This is tantamount to telling a 5 year old they can't have birthday cake on their birthday
because they misbehaved. Surely they can think of some other method. Kids this age need to be motivated to do the right thing. Punishing
them this way is so counterproductive.I agree that is a horrible policy. It will in no way improve the behavior of a child with ADHD and will only make the child feel bad about himself and school in general, and lead others to believe that he is "bad." Plus it ruins what is supposed to be a fun day.
Horrible, illogical, and senseless.

Just wondering what the Principal had to say about it all. I think it is disgusting on the teacher/schools part. A dress up day for Halloween should be a fun occasion involving all students so I would simply send my child to school dressed in a costume and letting the teacher know what I thought. No, you are not being over-sensitive and I would certainly be taking it further.  This actually makes me angry that teachers/schools are allowed to get away with things like this. Let us know the outcome and good luck.