Oh, I so feel for you. It's disheartening to have the conversation with the teacher and think things are going well only to get dumped on when it's too late to fix it. My fourth grader's teacher is frustrated that he can't remember to come to her at the end of the day to pick up his daily report card. Well, if he could remember that, he probably wouldn't need a daily report card, huh?
The last poster had some great suggestions. I know the daily report card has helped my guy. Of course, you have to convince the teacher to do it and show her it will help.
I saw a site the other day called twice gifted for kids with adhd and a high IQ. I think it's even harder for these guys because the teacher thinks if they are so smart, why can't they get their work done? Then we come across as indulgent parents.
Sorry I don't have any more help to offer, but know that you're not alone!
I need to know if I am expecting too much from the school or from my son. He has what I would refer to as SEVERE ADHD, diabetes, and is on 70mg Vyvanse. He has never had problems at school with behavior while on meds, but is a raging wild child while at home, which mean homework is basically impossible.
He is (almost 10) and in the 4th grade GATE (accelerated) class. He was in the 3rd grade GATE class last year. The difference between the two grades is exponentially faster. Last year they did very little outside work, mostly small, in class projects, and many worksheets. Just learned at a faster pace. This year, the class is moving faster than any advanced class I ever took through high school. They are doing 3-4 simultaneous projects, and new assignments staggered throughout each subject. There are almost no worksheets do to new administration, and most work is critical thinking.
My son already has a 504 for diabetes (but not ADHD), and we "discussed" the problem we have with ADHD and him not being able to do work at home. Just adding a simple spelling assignment at home, and we are looking at three hours of fighting, begging, and eventually crying by one or both of us. We were assured in our meeting, by the teacher, that she would work with us closely, and that we would rarely see any homework. That we would work to extend assignments that he needed extra time on, including afterschool help, and possibly reducing assignments.
The DAY before grades were due for the first progress report, I happened to pick him up, and the teacher was beside herself. She said that he had SIX outstanding assignments, and she would forced to give him zero's if they weren't turned in on time. THE NEXT DAY! Turns out 5 out of the 6 were PROJECTS! We were given the option to finish them over the weekend with a 10 point a day penalty. This was her solution to "extended time". The same as any other child, and here I was walking out of the school with my arms full of books, papers, rubics, etx... It was the worst weekend of my lifec
After that, I told her that I am more than willing to meet with her once a week to get an update on his assignments to make sure he doesn't get so far behind, but that *I* need to know when things were assigned and when they are due. Not the day before... They do have an agenda with assignments written down, but they are generic daily notes, with no specifics, and no due dates. Things have been going fairly well (I thought), until yesterday. Again, all of a sudden she has informed me that he does nothing in class. That he just kind of spaces out, doesn't ask for help, doesn't join her groups for help on compositions or assignments, etc... She is now talking about this class just being too fast for him, even though he is smart enough to do it.
She said that if she gives him a worksheet to bubble in answers, or multiple choice, he finishes extremely fast, and aces them. However, when it comes to assignments where he has to organize thoughts, be creative, etc, he freezes, and ends up doing nothing. Believe me, I can relate to him. When I walked into his class, *I* started having a panic attack. I've never seen anything like it. The main gist of the this class is that they are given multiple assignments, and expected to just work on them independently, joining into whatever help session she is holding at the moment.
Tutoring... we talked about afterschool help, working during "less important" classes such as recess, art, music, and obviously we can't do that all the time. These are her words, too, because she has so many workshops, afterschool meetings, etc. Not to mention, she has admitted that the class is so fast paced that there really isn't "extra" time to catch up. What is happening now is that he ends up finishing up one assignment while she is leading the class into another. Well, that just leaves him behind in another area! He's never up to speed.
So she calls me yesterday to tell me that she is VERY concerned for him, and his grades, and that we might have to discuss moving him into a regular class. HOWEVER, she also pointed out that the work load will probably not diminish. WTH? So how is moving him to another class going to help? She is concerned that his grades are only in the upper 80's. Really? So, in order to stay in the advanced class he has to move at lightning speed AND maintain an A?
Oh, and she scared the he** out of me saying she is VERY concerned about his most recent composition, but won't tell me what's in it because she doesn't want to betray his writing. But it was disturbing. Dealing with things he "heard" in our home. Now, I'm thinking that all he hears is yelling and screaming due to dealing with him, and that he's said we treat him like crap or something. NO! I read it when he got home, and he told a story about hearing noises in the house, asking his dad what it was, and it ended up being a ghost! This was supposed to be a "memory" comp, but he admitted that he couldn't think of anything, so he made up a story. WTH? I think she thinks he is hearing voices now!
So, if you have read this much, thank you, and I am looking for answers... Should I expect more help from the school, or do I pull him from his friends and put him in a regular class? A class where I KNOW there will be more homework, just maybe more teacher/class working on the same thing at the same time? He was in tears last night because I told him that pulling him out is our next option. He doesn't want to leave the class, but even that didn't get him motivated to finish his composition last night, just more tears...
I don't know what to do... I need help!
I think a lot of their success (and failure) has to do with the individual attention they receive. Our school has a one day pull out program for the more advanced kids and also a full time program. They test for it in second grade and then start attending in third grade. My son didn't test high enough on the in school test, and in fact, scored very low on the creativity section. Which is crazy, because ADHD kids are some of the most creative thinking kids around. So we paid 0 to have him tested outside of school. It was a one on one situation and my son now scores high enough for the full time program. Knowing the stress wasn't worth it for him, we opted for the one day program and he's loving it.
Some teachers are really good about making sure the kids all understand what they should be doing, some not so much. Communication is key. Let the teacher know you're going to be following along and checking in with her on a daily basis if need be. Then she will be more responsible to fix the issues.