At wits end | ADHD Information

Hi. First, I'd like to say, finally, I think I have found a place to get real advice and insight for the daily tribulations that is raising a child with ADHD. Ever so thankful and full of hope for help.

My son is 9 years old and has beed diagnosed with ADHD since he was 5 years old. Initially he was diagnosed by a pediatrician specializing in ADHD and pediatric behavioral disorders. The boy was started on Focalin XR daily and then bumped within a few months to twice daily. He responded well to the medication despite my fears of having to medicate a child. There were fewer outbursts and he was able to make it through his daily routine at school and still manage to complete homework assignments and homelife in the evenings.

Three years ago, my two children and myself relocated due to my upcoming remarriage. With that relocation came two huge factors in respect to the boy's ADHD, a new doctor and a new school. There are huge changes for a child without ADHD involved with moving, but I was more concerned about how my ADHD child would react and cope. He did great! He started his new school and made new friends. I was so proud of him.

The second year we lived here, he started the 3rd grade and was assigned to a teacher who was retiring at the end of the year. By mid trimester parent teacher conferences, it was obvious she was not on board with redirective tactics with children who have ADHD. She requested his medications be re-evaluated. Mind you, there was no miracle when he took his pill in the morning, but it was a huge difference from life without meds. I complied, not wanting to make ripples in the classroom and take attention away from the entire class just for my son.

We took him to a child psychiatrist because our pediatrician wasn't comfortable increasing his dosage or just up and changing the regime without another doctor more familiar with medicating ADHD children. The pyschiatrist after having us and the teacher complete assessments, changed his meds altogether.

I was getting daily emails and phone calls from my son's teacher with complaints that he didn't raise his hand to answer questions, he had to be told twice to get his book for the lesson, etc. I was dismayed that it appeared to me that I had changed my son's meds completely for a teacher that saw her upcoming retirement as a carrot at the gate. She was just not on board for my son and it seemed that my son was hindering her last year from being a breeze. I had him changed to another classroom after Christmas break.

Ever since, my son has had a decline in every area. We have tweaked the meds to a higher dose and we have tried everything in our heads to help this child. His 4th grade teacher is terrific. She engages his attention and she makes him feel good about learning. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that she's young and adorable. LOL But when he comes home he's so rowdy. I can't get him to sit to do his schoolwork. He starts constant fights with his older brother who is not ADHD. He is so defiant against any requests for simple tasks and chores. I've noticed he is rough with our pets. He screeches and screams sporadically for no reason. I cannot describe it other than ear splitting screeches. I worry the neighbors will call the police. And through all of this, he will grin an evil little grin, as if it's all a fun game. His newest find is to whistle nonstop. Redirection at this point seems to be pointless. I'm at a loss. I want my son back.

The part I find the hardest emotionally for him, myself and the rest of our family, is the fact that my son feels like everyone is constantly yelling at him, even when voices other than his own are not loud. He says things like, "I know. I'm bad. You don't love me." and "Stop yelling at me all the time!" It breaks my heart. I'm truly worried that his self esteem is taking a huge hit and worry that it won't be repairable. I try to reinforce he is loved and he is given physical affirmation through hugs and kisses, but it's not as if you can hug and kiss the child through behavioral outbursts.

In any case, he has an appointment with his doctor tomorrow, and I think my husband and I are on the same page to have his meds changed from A-Z again. I'm scared because I know the transition period is a roller coaster. I just want to help him and make our home life tolerable again.


I really need to figure out what I'm doing wrong in this forum. For the second time I have typed up ridiculously long response only to have it all disappear. Sigh.

Anyway, take two.

I just wanted to let you know that though I don't have any real answers for you, I have an eerily similar situation.

My 9 year old daughter was in the third grade last year. We just moved to a new town to prepare for my marriage to my now husband. She had a very inexperienced teacher who had only taught one class before hers. She would get so frustrated with my daughter and call me at least 3 times per week. She would leave her class JUST to get on the phone with me and tell me that my daughter wasn't listening, wasn't socially adjusting, wanted to dance around the room instead of learn, etc. I want to be kept in the loop on the daily goings on of my daughter but I don't think her teacher should leave her class to call me and practically cry on the phone about how "bad" my daughter is. It was an awful school year full of full on throw herself on the floor tantrums in the middle of class and impulsive behavior that constantly got her in trouble.

Now that she is in the fourth grade and has a teacher who cares and doesn't break down at the slightest "but why?" she is doing so much better. Our lives are no where near perfect and we have struggles with her ADHD daily but when it's quiet and I can reflect it's amazing to see how much a little tweak in her medication and a new teacher can accomplish.

I really hope the best for you and your son during this. It's probably going to be so rough on you both during a medication change but from your story it looks like it is going to help so much. Don't lose hope. Good luck :)

Ok, just thinking about the post, have you considered having your son re-evaluated?

He was doing so great that all of a sudden it is as if he isn't medicated.

I do know that when puberty enters the picture, that some folks meds stop working. AND the meds that didn't work for them prior, many now be the best one!

What med is he currently taking? My son has been on concerta since he was turning 7 and has always had high mg level due to his metabolising quickly. He is 13 and taking 108mgs of concerta. He has also been taking guanfacine with it, again right from the get go and the two go hand in hand for my son.

What type of doctor is prescribing? We use a psychopharmacologist. He is brilliant about all the different med choices out there. He also has the attitude of try the med, you will never know until you do, which is unfortunatly the only we know what works and what doesn't. I know that some drs shy away from certain meds and doses, but ours doesn't. We have a very successfuls on due to this. The only unruly times are when the meds have left his system at the end of the day AND when he is overstimulated, that is all.

We have to get your son back on track. Do you think there may be any additional diagnosis, co-morbid's, in addition to the adhd? Do you still believe that the adhd diagnosis is correct? Just trying to think of everything and everything.

Please post us as you are working on this, we care!

How did the doctor visit go?  Did the doc agree that the meds aren't working as is?  I know that switching meds can be a roller coaster but sometimes it can actually be smoother than you think.  Good luck!  I wish you the best! Hang in there!