new to the board and ADHD | ADHD Information

Hi, I am new also, my DD is 9 and has been diagnosed/on meds since she
was 7. I've been letting her take the weekends off from Focalin and this
weekend was really rough-- time to rethink that policy. We went out to
eat tonight with the family and I am exhausted from telling her over and
over to sit down and stop interrupting, control her volume. Her brother is
2 and is better behaved than she is.

She also says really mean things to people, then gets upset when she's not
invited for playdates or to birthday parties. She is constantly tormenting
and even hurting her little brother, I can't turn my back for a second
without hearing him scream and her telling some lie about what happened
("he bumped his head"). Or she'll take his toys and dangle them out of his
reach .. she really seems to get a sadistic kick out of upsetting him. I love
her, of course, but I very often don't like her.

The toughest thing for me is the stress of never being able to relax and be
myself around her. I have to always temper myself to stay steady in the
face of all of the drama and freakouts and I feel like I'm just gritting my
teeth all of the time.

I suppose the silver lining of the med-less weekend experiment is I
realize how very much they do help.

Being mean, angry, aggressive etc can be caused by the meds not being right.  Make sure the dose and timing are correct. Sometimes if the child is "rebounding" after the meds wear off they become mean and angry.  Start trying to make note of when she acts this way in relation to when she took her last dose.  This may help figure it out.

Also it could be the meds themselves that are causing this behavior.  My son needs stimulants (Ritalin) soooooo badly to control his hyperactivity and impulsiveness.  But one of the side effects for him was that the stimulants made him aggitated and angry.  We added Tenex to help smooth out his moodiness and it works wonderfully!

 

Hi all,
I am new to this board as well.  My 8 year old ds was diagnosed a couple of months ago with ADD (with impulsivity), general anxiety, moderate depression (due to the ADD), and even more recently, OCD.  He is on 25 mg of Adderall XR, which is working great for him in school.  When it starts to wear off, he rebounds - agitated, irritable, mean.  To combat this, the psy has just added Guanfesine (Tenex). We just started this today.  In addition, we started Prozac last week to help with the OCD.  He has been taking 10 mg, but goes to 20 mg starting Friday.  Since starting the Adderall, he has lost 9 lbs because he is not eating, or when he does, it's very little.  He was never a big eater to begin with, so 9 lbs is a lot of weight for him to lose.

I feel so lost and there is so much information that I am overwhelmed.  I know the Adderall is working at school, but it's the mornings and later afternoons where we still have difficulty.  He is so mean to his little sister (age 5), calls her names, teases her, shows no remorse for it, even when he gets disciplined for it.  I worry about giving him so much medication.  I am going to try the gluten free and dye-free diet to see if that helps.  The trouble is, he is such a picky eater. . .

Anyway, sorry for the long post.  Thank you for reading.
Logan'sMom, thank you for your reply!  I am trying really hard to not be discouraged.  The past couple of days have been a bit better, so that's good.  Since he is on break from school, I haven't given him the Adderall for the past couple of days.  Just the Tenex and Prozac.  The good news is that he ate today!  Breakfast, 2 sandwiches for lunch, dinner, and snacks. 

I've been monitoring his behavior as well, and he seems fairly calm despite not having the Adderall.  Not sure how he would do at school without it, but I think, in order to help with the weight issues, I may not give it to him on the weekends.  My poor kid is skin and bones at the moment.

I'm still questioning myself about whether I am doing the right thing, both with him and  my daughter (who does not have ADD).  I find it difficult to stay calm, find myself yelling a lot, just being stressed out and feeling detached.  And I am on anti-depressants!  I take Wellbutrin in the morning and Zoloft at night.  It seems like everything with my kids is a fight, from getting them up in the morning, to brushing teeth, to sitting at the table, picking up toys, going to sleep at night. . . .It feels like a never-ending fight.  I feel like there is a huge black cloud just hanging over our house all the time.

Sorry to vent and for the long post.  It's difficult because I feel I have no one to vent to.  We are in family counseling, but maybe I need to see someone on my own.

Don't be so hard on yourself!  Raising kids is difficult to begin with but ADHD kids are more difficult than most people can ever understand! I completely understand what you're talking about when you say you yell a lot, get stressed etc...I used to cry a lot because of feeling soooooo helpless.  I remember times before we got my son's meds right that my husdand and I would both just sit on the couch and cry.  Nothing ever worked and I didn't like the person I became when I "losted it" and started yelling and losing control.

After we finally got the meds right everything completely changed!  It will NEVER be easy compared to other kids, but it's manageable.  My son actually learns from disciplin now and is able to think most times before he acts.  We still have to handle him much different than you'd have to handle a "normal" kid but we don't cry anymore!  Hang in there!  IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT or "bad parenting".  It's ADHD-plain and simple! 

It's good that your in family counseling.  That's more than most people do!  But I agree that maybe you should see someone for just you.  It's always nice to have someone to talk to that is completely detached. 

I wish you the best!

It will take several weeks to really see the results of the Tenex. It's not like the stimulants where you see results right away.  If it doesn't help with the rebound then he probably needs an additional short acting dose of Adderall in the afternoon. My son needs both!

Most of the time the loss of appetite goes away after a while (my son took 5-6 months) and if not there are things you can do.  If the meds are working then it's rare that they would have to be taken off of them just because of appetite issues.  Try to feed him a good breakfast in the morning before the meds kick in and also a good dinner or late night snack after they wear off.  For a while my son drank Ensure and milk shakes to help get calories in him. Now he does just fine!

The Tenex should help with the morning routine before the Adderall kicks in.  With my son, it doesn't work as well as the Ritalin but it makes him manageable until the Ritalin has time to get in his system.  It's the type of medication that builds up in the system and is supposed to be present 24 hours a day (unlike the stims) so it has an overall soothing effect.

Good luck and please don't get discouraged!  If you keep with it, it WILL get better!

Hi all,

I found this site by accident and have been reading it for a while now and haven't gotten the nerve to write.  My DD was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD in last summer.  Got on meds and summer went well.  Once school started, we have had problems with stealing and other things.  We have played with the meds and may have found the write dosage but not sure.  She is getting mean again.  She doesn't care about others.

I don't want to complain but she has said very hurtful things to me the last couple of days again and I am at wits end and want to cry.  I don't get help within the house but I do get to talk to my mom to just let out steam.  

Thank you for letting me blow more steam.  I have read a lot on these boards that do fit with my daughter and that I am going to try. 

 

 

 

You need to say more and vent more steam. It is a difficult job raising a child with ADHD. These boards help me vent and feel less isolated about my child. It feels good sometimes to tell someone that you dont like your child at that moment. It's hard to like a child that is mean to you. But dont worry the love is always there.

son adhd ODD 9yrs off meds

Have you tried therapy? My son is 9, and it has made all the difference. He
was so busy dealing with his buzzing brain that socially he is very delayed.
He goes to therapy where he is taught how to deal with his anger and his
impulsiveness.