New and Need Some Input (long) | ADHD Information
I am new here and as I typed in a previous thread have a “mom dx” 13yo ds. He hasn’t been dx by a doctor because DH doesn’t believe in ADHD and believes that DS behavior is a spiritual problem and that we the parents are to blame, too. With all the research I have been doing lately, I just don’t believe that to be true. So I have pretty much “dx” my son with ADHD Inattentive. Now I know that no one here can dx my child, but I want to do everything I can to help him and the rest of the family so I was wondering if you could at least tell me if I am barking up the wrong tree here? He is a description of him:
1. He seems lazy, I am beginning to understand that’s not it, because he hardly ever finishes what he starts and only ½ way does the job that he does do.
2. His room is a total mess and he doesn’t care.
3. His mind is always going in 90 different directions, it seems.
4. He doesn’t learn from consequences and really doesn’t understand why he is getting in trouble to begin with. He thinks the world is just out to get him and as long as he is living everything should be fine. If you give him consequences he just feels doomed. For example, he never remembers to brush his teeth in the morning, so I told him that until he got in the habit of brushing them every morning he could have no sweets. His response was, “That’s just great, I’ll NEVER be able to eat sweets again.”
5. He makes noise nonstop, even when he is alone.
6. He is always moving.
There is so much more, but don’t want this to be any longer for the readers sake, these are just the main ones I can think of right now. Thank you for any input you might have.
I recommend that you go ahead and have your son evaluated by a doctor. You can assure your husband that just because you have a DX, doesn't mean you HAVE to medicate (if that is his concern). Or just do it. It's not about your husband, it's about doing whatever is possible to be sure that your son can develop and make the most of his potential.If you do some reading on this board you will see that it's pretty common for dads to "not believe in ADHD" or be against medication. (And any many cases these dads may have ADHD themselves!) Often the dads are not the ones dealing with the kids and schools on a day-to-day basis, so they do not see how difficult the symptoms and issues can be. But often, once the child receives help, the dads seem to come around when they realize what a difference it makes.
Like you said, no one can diagnose your child online. So go ahead and get a diagnosis. It might help to have a doctor talk to your husband too. Once you have a diagnosis, you can decide how to proceed.
Best of luck!
[QUOTE=inspiredbymusic]I recommend that you go ahead and have your son evaluated by a doctor. You can assure your husband that just because you have a DX, doesn't mean you HAVE to medicate (if that is his concern). Or just do it. It's not about your husband, it's about doing whatever is possible to be sure that your son can develop and make the most of his potential.
[/QUOTE]
If I wouldn't medicate, do we still need a DX? I mean can't I still do, "whatever is possible to be sure," my son, "can develop and make the most of his potential?" That sounds tacky and I don't mean for it to, it is a honest question.
my son is the same age as yours. He couldn't go a day without his meds. You describe my son in many sentences, BUT, he is medicated and doesn't do any. If I didn't medicate him, we would be living the same life.
DS is a honor student, plays football, and is focused and quiet. Now when the meds wear off, all heck breaks lose, but so what. I get what I want from meds, an education and future for my son. When they wear off I have the choice to medicate again with a lower dose or a short acting boost but chose not to. I let him be himself. He is an awesome gamer and yes, get very loud on xbox live.
I would have your son evaluated AND I would educate myself on the diagnosis.
You have NO idea how many successful people who are medicated with the diagnosis. It does exist.
Question, does your hubby have it?
[QUOTE=BETHANN]I would have your son evaluated AND I would educate myself on the diagnosis.
You have NO idea how many successful people who are medicated with the diagnosis. It does exist.
Question, does your hubby have it?
[/QUOTE]
I don't think DH would ever go for getting him evaluated, so therefore I still just educate myself the best I can and fine what works for us. That's one reason why I joined here, hoping I could get some help.
No, I don't think dh has it.
4plus140511.5706481481As everyone is saying, you can't get a diagnosis online- HOWEVER the symptoms you describe sure sound like ADHD! Definitely get a professional evaluation to be sure though because these types of symptoms can also be caused by other disorders and you'll want to rule those out. For instance, hyperthyroidism can cause hyper activity and bi-polar disorder can cause moodiness etc. But I'll bet your son just has good ole ADHD and if so, then welcome to the club!
Educate yourself as much as you can. This message board is a wonderful resource! There are so many people here who REALLY understand what we go through. It's a place that I come when I don't want to feel alone. The more educated you become on ADHD the more comfortable you will be making decisions. You may even be able to get hubby to read some stories on this board! 
Go to the health food store and get PediActive, or another version of that. These things have DMAE in them, which acts like a stimulant. Also, try coffee, coca-cola, etc. Just check it out and see if you get any response.
Hi..just wanted to reach out to a fellow homeschool family. My son, age 7 has been diagnosed ADHD -combined type and tourette syndrome. It is a big challenge to homeschool him...but a very big blessing because we don't have to deal with the expectations of a random mix of teachers. Although, my son is younger...the thing that works the best us in school is giving much of the control over to him (checklists for his assignments). He loves to be in control...then we add in rewards for attitude and accomplishments. Mostly computer or DS time. We are very flexible with the schedule..play outside to start the day...so helpful for him! He also has alot of opportunities to get up, run around, head to the basement for bouncy balls, etc. Assignments are short sweet!
I suspect that our school situation could get alot more difficult because in 2nd grade he doesn't have many long assignments or things that require concentration for longer periods. DS is not able to take ADHD medication (stimulants) due to tourettes..so we are making accommodations where we can.
One thing you might consider regarding the issues of school. Kids with ADHD often have other learning disabilities (handwriting, processing, etc.). Alot of these issues translate into very poor work product. AND..undiagnosed kids with these issues are masters at finding coping mechanisms (acting like they don't care, being lazy, etc.) that seem intentional but are really a way to hide the fact that they CANNOT do something. Check out dysgraphia, dyslexia, etc.
Welcome to this forum.. please keep us posted.
Another possiblity is lead poisoning. There are probably other "factors" that could look as if he is ADHD but really isn't.
With that said, I would recommend a professional evaluation, this way you can rule out any underlying health issues.
A lot of things read like they are something but get ruled out once professionals get involved.
He is a child, and with adhd , they simply cannot control it. It is neurological.
One thing I remember a poster telling me years back that really hit home for me was would I ever deny my son eye glasses if he was nearsighter? Would I deny him insulin if he was a diabetic. It is the same thing, my son has been diagnosed and needs to take his medicine to help him have a successful day, just like I have to wear my glasses inorder to see distance.
It is a very personal decision, one that your son cannot make but will only suffer the consequences of getting into trouble or not focusing so not understanding the teacher in school thus not doing as well as he really is. A LOT of adher's are actually quite brilliant but don't always show it because of the adhd not being treated and without it managed, it gets in the way of their success.
Please keep reading on these boards, as it may help you understand what you child it truly dealing with.
Also, Please, Please, ask any questions, nothing is too personal, as we are all parents here with our children who we love and only want the best for!
Regards
It is a very personal decision, one that your son cannot make but will only suffer the consequences of getting into trouble or not focusing so not understanding the teacher in school thus not doing as well as he really is. A LOT of adher's are actually quite brilliant but don't always show it because of the adhd not being treated and without it managed, it gets in the way of their success. [/QUOTE]
He is HSed, so that helps, at least him anyway, LOL. He is VERY smart, but in his school work you wouldn't really know it because he doen't appy himself, even though it would only take a little, because it comes so easy for him.
[QUOTE]Please keep reading on these boards, as it may help you understand what you child it truly dealing with. [/QUOTE]
That is one of the main reasons I joined.
[QUOTE]Also, Please, Please, ask any questions, nothing is too personal, as we are all parents here with our children who we love and only want the best for![/QUOTE]
Thank you for this. Know that just because my child doesn't have a Dr. DX for this, I do love him very much and want the best for him.
Anyone reading this thread knows that your love your child dearly and want the very best for him, that is why you are here!!
Just remember, if he does have adhd, he was born with it. It was predetermined when you were carrying him for 9 months in your tummy. He did NOT come down with it, it is neurological. but until he is professionally evaluated by a pediatric neurological psychologist, who can say.
You are a good mother. I am glad that you found this wonderful place. We are here to help you with anything we can!!
Thank you all for your input and welcomes.
psbml5~Thank you for your HS help. If you have anymore, pass them on. I can use all the help I can get.