Dealing with ADD at work
Hi princesserkel! I tend to feel that everyone is ignoring me, probably because they don't like me or what I have to say. Logically though, I can compare other peoples reactions to me, and how they react to other people. I have come to the conclusion that people are not really ignoring me, instead it is my perception of these interactions that is wrong. So, the question is are people really ignoring you, or do just percieve it that way, because the solution would be completely different in these two cases. Not that I have a solution for either.
Hi everyone this is princesserkel. I have been dealing with ADD since I was little. It seems at work that nobody pays attention to me if I have any ideas or suggestions about certain things. It feels like nobody cares about what I think because I learned things differently. Give me advice on what to do.Greetings fellow Add-ers!This is the first time- EVER- that I've joined in one of these 21st Century activities, anywhere!
Last night I was in a training session with a small group, actually only four others. The course material was rather bland but rife with possibilities for cracking wise!!!
The old, pre-diagnosed me would have turned the session into a running sitcom. The "new", post-diagnosed me only rose to the bait once, and only during a break in the class.
Just having the knowledge that I have ADD and why I would, in the past, burst out with whatever thoughts were on my mind- regardless of how inappropriate or unprofessional- was enough to make me remind myself not to burst forth!
It wasn't much but I felt like I scored a victory!
(Believe me, there are many nuns in heaven beaming down with pride!)
I experienced a similar problem and found out (because my boss eventually told me) that I was causing it.
You see, I didn't realize it but I would never wait my turn but would interupt any conversation to put in my two cents worth. You know how it is when you get enthusiastic about something!
At first, people were annoyed, but it didn't take them long to learn to ignore me or even avoid me. I had mistakenly "trained" them to ignore my comments in meetings, etc. I was lucky that my boss took me aside and mentioned the problem (and mentioned that he'd noticed I had some good ideas but no one was payng attention because they were "getting back at me" for interupting them.
It wasn't an easy problem to solve, but I worked with my coach and actually asked my co-workers to help me stop my habit of interupting. Once they understood that I didn't want to do it, things improved, and now they even ask for my opinion!
This may not be your case, but ask yourself if you are doing something inadvertently that could be causing this reaction. If you can't spot it, the other thing I would suggest is speaking about it with your boss. Your co-workers may not listen to you, but your boss should be interested in getting the best ideas out of the team, no matter what and would thus be willing to help you.
Hope this helps.
I would agree with wite. I have to struggle not to interrupt other people.Try consciously complimenting the ideas of others for a week or so. Try
listening, (I might sound sarcastic, but I'm not) to people's entire ideas. I
often stop listening once i think i know what they're going to say, but
apparently that isn't nice.
Once you make a concentrated effort to understand and listen (or at least
pretend, ha ha) you'll be ready to lay your stuff on them. and even then,
try to give others the credit, or credit them for the inspiration. Even if you
are exagerrating, suddenly they'll love hearing you talk. Refer to others
when you do have suggestions, and try to tie it in with the goals and
ideas of others. Even if it seems obvious to you, you might have to spell it
out for others.
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