Hyperactivity in social situations | ADHD Information

Hello,

I am new to the forum and would like to share my son's
story, with hopes of generating some feedback before we
speak with a medical professional about his situation.

My son is 6 years old and is an excellent student. He's
in enrichment classes four days a week, is kind to his
peers and is very attentive in class.

At home he's a great kid, too, with only the usual six-
year-old issues... fighting with his sister, not eating
his dinner, etc. No major issues at all.

That said, adding so much as one 'outsider' to the
equation my son becomes a different person. It could be
his grandparents, neighbors, or someone he doesn't know
at all and he becomes hyper and cannot control his
behavior. He doesn't listen to direction. He gets loud
and obnoxious and cannot calm himself down, though he is
never violent. We can speak to him sternly or send him
to his room to regain control, but it's as if he doesn't
hear us. On more than one occasion he has told me that
he doesn't know how to stop and that he thinks he's a bad
kid because of it. The last thing I want is for my child
to think he's a bad person for any reason, especially if
the situation is beyond his control.

I've done a lot of reading on hyperactivity in children
and ADHD and while I know there are many, many different
variations of this I can't seem to figure out exactly
where my son falls. Like I mentioned above, I wanted to
come here first and get things out before I go speak with
someone, as I'm not even sure who to go to first. I'm
hoping this forum can help me.

I greatly appreciate your reading this and look forward
to the responses. Thanks so very much. You must display the symptoms in more than one environment to be diagnosed with ADHD. What you describe does not qualify IMHO. My son is 6 from birth he demanded my attention didn't like me leaving him even for a second, i also noticed then we he could talk from age 15 months he became quite shy and would only talk to me, his sister and sometimes his dad but no-one else unless he really got to know them and even then he still didn't always, the children down the street didn't think he could talk even when he reached the age of 3 and if he ran away(got lost) in a supermarket he wouldn't talk to the staff, from age 2 1/2 to 4 1/2 he hated walking anywhere even when we drove to the town and just walked from the carpark to the shops and would whin, scream, refuse to walk etc,
when he started school at 4 we were told he was excluded from some activities because when he had a fight/argument with another child he would refuse to talk and tell his side of the story effectively going mute, he moved house and school with his sister and there doesn't seem to be any issues with muteness.

but my son's behavior has gotten worse he started soiling himself from age 3 and 3 years later has been diagnosed with chronic constipation but we have been told it is behavioral and self inflicted as he refuses to listen to his bowels when he needs to go and has to be told daily to sit on the loo and given medication to keep him regular. He has always been stubborn about dressing himself, eating things he doesn't want etc and he now has become very rude swearing when he gets told off or annoyed, saying he didn't do anything and not taking responsibility for his actions, he never used to lie but it is becoming more frequent, he has stepped up his annoying of his sister to the point that when she hits him he will stamp his feet and scream but not admit he was in the wrong or just annoy her constantly. when we go to town as soon as my husband goes to a different shop he will run all over and get told off by the staff for climbing the wrong way up escalators and knocking clothes off rails etc and laugh when i tell him off and not listen ( doesn't help that his sister does them same) then when my husband is back he will take my son's hand and my son will scream and get annoyed because he is holding his hand and be rude etc.

when i took him to my gp about his behavior my son refused to look or talk to the doctor but instead touched everything, jumped on the examining table, switched the fan on and off and generally made a nuisance of himself. He is fine at school as far as i know, the teacher has said he is bright and is doing really well with reading and spelling and already on books higher stages than his sister at that age as she refused to read them although she is doing well now.
the teacher did mention that he sometimes doesn't concentrate and can be silly especially when he plays with a certain boy but otherwise he is ok at school but at home or out and about he is a real handful and defiant

like your son he is good at school but at home and in public he is a different child i was told by an expert on a different forum that adhd can be situational! it depends on what the child sees they can get away with etc like my DD she has calmed down quite alot at school  over this school term because she has a teacher who  obviously is firm but fair and doesn't shout but another teacher in another situation and she would be disruptive but when we go into shops she will be just like her brother silly and defiant
mummymilman40554.2881828704Here are items 3 and 4 from the DSM-IV Criteria for ADHD, which is the criteria used to establish a diagnosis.

III. Some impairment from the symptoms is present in two or more settings (e.g. at school/work and at home).

IV. There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, school, or work functioning.

The behavior you describe when "outsiders" are around and especially the fact that he says he can't control it, sounds a lot like ADHD.  However, normally it happens in several different areas of a child's life.  I'm not sure how the doctors would classifiy his behavior.  (whether it would be considered one area or more than one).  I guess the only way to know for sure is to have a professional evaluation.

I was wondering if he shows the hyper behavior in school at all?  How about when the school year starts? Because I guess everyone in the class would  be an outsider the first day.  Anxiety may also contribute to his behavior if he's anxious when outsiders are around.  

Another thing I thought of was possible Sensory Integration Disorder issues.  Depending on what exactly the child's sensitivities are they can seriously affect behavior.  My son is sensitive to sound (not as bad as he used to be but still very sensitive).  It's not always the same sounds either.  One day it may be loud noises, the next it may be a plane flying overhead...  When it happens, his "fight-or-flight" response is triggered.  His heart races, his body floods with adrenaline (sp?), he gets in a panic and can't control himself for a while until he calms down.   Sometimes it takes a while.  At first it was hard to tell the difference between his hyperactivity caused by ADHD and his sensory problems but now it's pretty easy to distinguish. 

These things may not have anything to do with your son, but they're some ideas... Good luck and I hope you find the answers!   

My son (who does not have ADHD), when he was very young, used to get terribly excited when grandparents or someone like that would come visit. He would act very obnoxious and drive the visitor that he was so excited about crazy and make them think he was a horrible kid. He maybe was not quite as extreme as what you are describing, but something along those lines. Honestly, since he is now 18 and those days are long gone, it's hard to remember the details. Like your son, he was an excellent student and really didn't have any other "symptoms." He outgrew the behavior.

I wonder if it would help to "rehearse" or "role play" the visits in advance. Pretend you are the visiting grandparent and have your son practice the type of things he will say and do in advance. ?? Maybe it would also help to have a structured plan of what you will be doing with the grandparent or visitor in advance that you can go over in advance ?? He could also practice some type of calming behavior if he starts getting too excited. ?? Just some ideas ...

I would contact the school again - grades are not always indicative of showcasing ADHD behavior. My daughter, now 9, was always great in school and I got glowing reports about her behavior when she was 6. BUT then I had a teacher the following year who spoke quite differently about her behavior when she started 1st grade. I soon discovered my daughter's behavior in school - albeit friendly and willing to work - was turning out to be a deterant to her learning and gaining social abilities. She required constant redirection to stay on task and she started developing attention seeking behavior then. I was grateful for the teacher's honesty and I have to admit a bit angry at the teacher the year before for not speaking up. (that teachers in no longer there)

We discovered she was ADHD impulsive. Our son, 2 years older, also ADHD but innattentive - showed his erratic and ADHD-like behavior in all areas of his life- school, friends, home while my daughter did not before the age of 7.

She is now on medication which has made a huge difference but at night when we go out and participate in a non-routine activity her behavior is off the charts impulsive. She looks to be out of control no matter how many times we tell her to stop things. We have had to leave situations due to her behavior. By that time of day her meds had worn off and she was out of control until she get back home to safe, familar and non-overstimulating situation. Now we have an afternoon booster but it is not uncommon for ADHDers to have that kind of reaction to larger social and nonfamiliar activites.

6 is about the age many children show shows of an issue but I am not saying your son has it. Just keep an eye on him and get him evaluated - teachers can fill out a questionaire that will help the doctor see what he is like in school.

Trust your instincts and good luck.

Next time you are having a social occassion, give your child some caffeine to see if it helps him control his behavior more.  It may help and will also give you more inisght if ADHD is part of the challenge.  My son is the same way.  Calm at home ( atleast enough to be tolerated).  He can be sweet and loving ( although he still doesnt have an inside voice).  When he is playing with others, he becomes so "hyper" that he is annoying.  He still has issues with personal space ( he is 10 1/2) and acts much younger than his age.  As a result, he plays a lot with younger kids and always fights with the kids his age.  Once he is hyped up, he is not able to calm himself down.  This is him WITH medication.  Without, the poor child cannot even think!!technically those criteria are correct but i go on another forum where there are children and adults dx with adhd but do well at school, but i think my son fits more into the Oppositional Defiance Disorder character but also his behavior is bad at home and in social settings (not school) so effectively 2 settings and it effects him because the Encopresis is an ongoing impairment and the rudeness and defiant behavior effects his and our lives at homeIf they do well in school, I would have to assume that they have mild ADHD, which I think is not the norm.well see my DD is effected by school- what i mean is this school year she is doing great and alot calmer at home but last school year it was a different story- last year her teacher would tell her off etc and was alot stricter and less patient so her behavior wasn't good in school and alot worse at home but this year she a teacher who is more understanding and firm but fair and so her behavior is alot better both at school and home, i have found if she is unhappy at school then it shows at home.my som on the other hand because he has Non-Retentive Encopresis he is a risk from Oppositional Defiance Disorder which can show a home but children can be fine at school