Inattention symptoms of ADHD | ADHD Information

Thank you all for the input. Any information or advice I can get is helpful. As it is we'll be doing homework tonight and I'm dreading it. It is always a struggle to keep him focused, to not take way too long to do it and hopefully not end up with any tears. I don't yell and have a lot of patience, but he just wants to stop and not do it any more and I have to tell him we need to finish it. He gets upset and says we'll never get it done.

We've tried taking breaks, spreading it out over the day and it's just always hard. He's been at a friends house this afternoon so I know that he'll be so wound up from that getting him started on homework is going to be awful. Every day, every night, is exhausting. Just doing the basic, everyday stuff takes effort and a lot of patience.

I am looking forward to the appt with the children's hospital. If nothing else we want to know what in the world is going on and that may make it easier to cope. The best result would be some sort of behavioral treatment I guess, but we have no idea what they will have to offer. Something I hope. In some ways he is so mature and perceptive and in other ways, like wanting me to brush his teeth and getting tearful about putting pajamas on when he's overtired, is completely befuddling.

Thanks again for all of the input. I'm so worn out from this that it's nice to hear from other people who sympathize.

I can relate. My 7 yr old has ADHD and she is sometimes the biggest headache. Our "I'm cold" fights come every morning when it is time to get dressed for school. She is difficult to wake up and is even more difficult when we have to deviate from routine. For example, she is carried from her bed to the living room. There she is given a few minutes to wake up as breakfast is started. On mornings when b'fast will take longer to get ready we fight with her about getting dressed.

Yesterday, we went to the park for a picnic and to just get out of the house. When we left the park she was saying she was hungrey and wanted a snack. We decided to treat her and her sister to ice cream. She started crying and whining because "ice cream wasn't a snack, it was a dessert." I told her just b/c u are miserable you won't ruin this for your sister and all of us got ice cream except for her. Hubby caters to her and talked to her. After we left he took her to a gas station and she got lifesaver candy.

I have noticed that when my child comes off her medicene in the afternoon she is very whiney and it is just a pain to deal with unless she is getting her way.

I think a lot of it has to do with immaturity. ADHD kids are sometimes immature for their age. That is definately the case for my child.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling like this.  Althought I am not a psychologist, what you describe sounds like pretty classic inattentive type ADHD.  The fact that he does well academically doesn't change that.  Kids with ADHD are pretty often also very bright.  Some are even said to be 'gifted', as is the case with our son.  You may have heard the term 'twice exceptional' - this refers to a child who not only has ADHD but is also gifted.

My first piece of advice would be to make sure that your official diagnosis includes a very thorough assessment by a child psychologist so you know exactly what you are dealing with.  We did that and although it was expensive it really helped us understand how our son's brain worked.  Once you understand that, you will feel a lot less frustrated.

My second piece is - read the posts here from other parents, they will help you understand that you are not alone in this!  Far from it, in fact.  I wish you all the best of luck in getting the help your son needs, whatever form that help takes.

Does he have a sensory integration issue? My son does, and when I learned
that he literally sometimes either feels "too much" or "too little" it made a
huge difference for me. Really, he wasn't trying to drive me nuts when
something that had been perfect the last 5 times was completely wrong.
Also, I can raise my voice to get his attention without "yelling" - he
sometimes really needs a louder volume to process what I'm saying, and so I
don't need to get angry, I just need to get loud. That change in perspective
allowed me to have gobs more patience for him, and to be able to really help
him when he was having trouble focusing vs having trouble processing what
I was saying.

I had a horrible night because my 10 yr old son cannot control his emotions at times and threw a fit over being cold while putting on his pajamas. The only way to get him to stop was to scream and now I feel horrible. His Dad and I are beyond worn out.

We are currently going through getting him officially diagnosed. His symptoms include:

easily distracted by irrelevant stimuli and frequently interrupting ongoing tasks to attend to trivial noises or events that are usually ignored by others inability to sustain attention on tasks or activities frequent shifts from one uncompleted activity to another procrastination disorganized work habits forgetfulness in daily activities (for example, missing appointments, forgetting to bring lunch) failure to complete tasks such as homework or chores

He has a combination of symptoms that include emotional behaviors that are inappropriate for his age. His teacher w/30 yrs experience has tried eveything to help his remember his work and it nothings helped.

Here is what she said of him "It's like every day is a new day for" our son because he is unable to grasp daily routines.

He gets straight A's and has us all befuddled.

Can anyone relate to this or give us some advice. I am so sad and frustrated tonight. Thanks.

I hope your night of homework was better than you expected!

Hi, my DS sounds much like yours.  He is 11 now and was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7 but we knew something was up much earlier.  He also has severe OCD.  He takes medication for the ADHD every day, plus Abilify for the OCD and poor impulse control.  He is also very gifted like your son.  What I wanted to suggest is after he is formally evaluated that you have him get some therapy with a psychologist because the medications don't control everything.  My DS also has behaviors like the ones you described - meltdowns.  The psychologist is working with him and us to help him control his behaviors and remain calm.  This is very important because the ADHD and OCD behaviors have a big effect on us as a family (he has a twin sister who does not have it) and it is really really hard to keep your patience with an ADHD kid and also have your family occasions ruined by their behaviors!  I feel for you, believe me.  We have found the therapy to help, and the other thing that helped immensely, if you can afford it, is to get someone to come in after school or in the eve to help him with his homework.  This was such a benefit to us because he was not fighting anymore over the homework with his Dad or me.  We got a great young woman who is a PHD student and pay her /hour for two hours a day for four days a week.  He does not fight with her at all.  Also, his teacher has been great with putting the responsibility for remembering his homework and books on him without punishing him too much for forgetting.  This way it is on him, not us, if he forgets something and we don't have to fight over it.  I hope this helps.  Medication has been a godsend for us but it doesn't do everything.

Thanks for all of the good ideas. There are a lot here and that's wonderful.

In the last few months I have made a conscious decision not get upset anymore when he forgets things - which happens almost on a daily basis. Understanding how a child that can get straight A's cannot rememeber to bring home the same folder that he needs everyday has been baffling. On the plus side, when he forgets his homework we don't have to do the homework battle.

Seriously though, coming to the realization that he's not doing it intentionally, not being defiant and does want to do well, has changed my perceptions. We're starting to recognize that he may just not be able to do what we expect of him. Executive Dysfuntion was mentioned to me the other day. When I looked it up it made a lot of sense. My being angry and frustrated just makes us both feel bad and doesn't help the situation at all.

I always dread homework though. Everyday. Once I can get him focused on something he does well, but if there are any distractions, or he thinks of something "really funny" or "really interesting" to tell me, it's impossible and goes on for an eternity. And just knowing that the emotional flurry is coming is so tiring. Getting him to go from one thing to the next is never easy. This year especially there is a lot of homework, in addition to music practice, so it's gotten worse.

Anyway, I am going to go through all of your ideas again and see what I can implement here. It justs help to talk about it to others who understand too...so thank you!

Once we've gotten the full evaluation and recommendations from the Psychiatrist, or trick cyclist as my Fiance calls them, I'll post the results.....In April!!!

Just a quick idea about the "I'm cold" whinefest when getting dressed:

My son always had this issue until I started throwing his clothes in the dryer about three minutes before I woke him up. Now that he's in middle school, he just gets up and runs into the bathroom, which is all steamy from my husband's shower. He takes his clothes, throws them on the counter, and shuts off the fan on his way to the tub. The room is hot and steamy as Hades by the time he's done in the shower, so no more griping.  

Hi, I am new to the board but your post caught my
attention. Your son sounds very much like my son. My
son will be 10 in August. He has been on ADHD medication
since Kindergarten (in 3rd grade now). He has a lot of
trouble controlling his emotions. He will have major
fits/melt downs over the smallest things (such as being
cold when putting on pjs, or someone using the fork he
wanted, someone brushing their teeth before him, etc..).
It's very frustrating. He has become a very disorganized
child (used to be almost OCD about organization). Any
stimulus distracts him. If I am typing in the room where
he is supposed to be doing homework, just that noise
distracts him. It takes FOREVER to get homework done
some days. My son is also one that makes straight A's.
He is in the gifted program and scores the highest
reading level of the entire grade. My son is on 27 mg
Concerta a day and it makes a huge difference but he
still has so many frustrating behaviors. We have found
some strategies that work this year at school during test
taking to keep him on task but the other things we have
found nothing that helps, especially with his emotional
outbursts.   

Kristy

[QUOTE=mominbucks]

I had a horrible night because my
10 yr old son cannot control his emotions at times and
threw a fit over being cold while putting on his pajamas.
The only way to get him to stop was to scream and now I
feel horrible. His Dad and I are beyond worn out.

We are currently going through getting him officially
diagnosed. His symptoms include:

easily distracted by irrelevant stimuli and
frequently interrupting ongoing tasks to attend to
trivial noises or events that are usually ignored by
others
inability to sustain attention on tasks or activities
frequent shifts from one uncompleted activity to
another
procrastination
disorganized work habits
forgetfulness in daily activities (for example,
missing appointments, forgetting to bring lunch)
failure to complete tasks such as homework or
chores

He has a combination of symptoms that include
emotional behaviors that are inappropriate for his age.
His teacher w/30 yrs experience has tried eveything to
help his remember his work and it nothings helped.

Here is what she said of him "It's like every day is a
new day for" our son because he is unable to grasp daily
routines.

He gets straight A's and has us all befuddled.

Can anyone relate to this or give us some advice. I am
so sad and frustrated tonight. Thanks.

[/QUOTE] albrst40596.2173842593