5 year break. | ADHD Information
Hi. I can understand your frustration. I have an 11 year old son also. He is in the 5th grade also. His birthday is the beginning of September so I just waited an extra year. My son is in a sped classroom for behavioral issues and is doing better than he would in a regular classroom, but has issues and problems also. On meds since 5. I thought he might being going into puberty this year, because his attitude, mouth and what not got worse. But he isn't. Mine is smart mouthed, has figured out cussing, being rude to me teachers and would rather play than do homework. I haven't been here either for awhile, but have been surfing around to see if I can get new ideas. I have an older son, so I know some of this is just normal and to be expected, but not acceptable. He gets an allowance based on school behavior, and priviledges taken away for home behavior. I don't know how to make it easier for you. I have him do homework at the same time each day, but still have to remind him. He won't brush teeth or get dressed unless I tell him to. So I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, that my son is just like yours, and I am hoping that by the time he is an adult, he can atleast brush his teeth without me telling him.@ sink...
So you think if I paid more attention to the positive stuff that he does vs. the negative stuff he would react more positive? Let me tell you, all last week he 'forgot' his spelling words even though I communicate with his teachers on a daily basis, he couldn't remember to bring them home, then he lost the notebook, then he stole a kitkat bar and lied about taking it, then he broke his bed and blamed it on his little brother after screaming and yelling that his brother broke the bed. On top of that, I asked him if he studied and he said he did, so I asked him to give me his book and I would ask him some questions, all of a sudden he said he couldnt find his notes yesterday. I asked him how he studied if he couldnt find his notes, he said he didnt. I can't trust him, I cant trust him and its killing me. On top of that, a pair of Turtle Beach headphones I got my husband for Christmas has came up broke but no one knows what happened to them. I don't know what to do anymore.
@ Aaron's mom
I have to stay on top of him for absolutely everything. Eating dinner with his mouth closed, keeping his fingers out of his mouth, brushing his teeth, flushing the toilet, using shampoo in his hair, not playing in the water when he's washing dishes...the list goes on and on. My husband and I have done the point system, we have done writing sentences, we have grounded for centuries to come, we have taken the xbox away, we have taken the computer away, at one point we took everything out of his room except for his bed and his clothes. It has to get better, it has to not be this hard forever but when is it going to stop. Thank you so much for letting me know my husband and I are not alone. It's tough remembering these children have problems when they are standing in your face screaming at the top of their lungs because they broke something and it wasn't their fault.
But what does he do that is good? Can you imagine waking up every morning, knowing that the people who love you the most are going to have a laundry list of all the things you're doing wrong? And that's how every day goes, regardless of how hard you try, they say you aren't trying hard enough. Instead of punishing for bad things, pick a couple of things that are good and praise for them. They want to please us, despite what it sometimes looks like. No one wants to be in trouble all of the time.
I highly recommend the book The Explosive Child. It will take more effort than your current punishments, but it will also work.
You sound very overstressed and angry. Do talk to your son with that same accusitory anger that you have directed at those who have taken time out of their day to give quality advice? Maybe he wants to do all those things because he is mad at you. I am mad at you and I don't even know you.
I understand how hard it is. My son argues all the time etc. But I am not pissed at him or those trying to help me. ADHD is HARD. Harder for him that you. He is the one who is really suffering. Adderall may not be the right med for him. Some meds can have bad side effects. My son become very beligerent on vyvnase but is doing much better on Daytrana.
My son also has ODD. Do you have a psychologist who has diagnosed him? ODD requires behavior therapy. I found out the hard way, that the therapy is more for the parents than the child. Children who are ODD can easily develope into Conduct Disorder simply by parenting in a way that is quite punitive. I was quite punitve. It only made it worse. It is a long road, but please, don't be angry at everyone.
Do you understand how difficult it is to look at this child and know that he is lying to your face and trying to find somethign that is good in it? He is smart mouth, he is defiant and only does enough to play the xbox or get on the computer. I cannot and will not reward bad behavior but I do understand that giving in a little more than we have been may help. It's very difficult having a toddler who is very independant and having a child that requires a lot of attention. I am not saying I am the only one with this problem but I feel like the world is on my shoulders a lot of the time. Between work, getting my degree, having to deal with a schizophrenic dad and trying to maintain my sanity it is tough all on its own. And then having to put all of my effort and attention into my child who just doesn't understand why it's his fault he broke the bed is just beyond me. We've tried everything else. I guess we could try something new. Not sure what else is out there. Yes I understand, all of us with kids like ours do. You have alot on your plate. Is there a way you can take a break? I am a single mom with a very part time dad. I know that getting time to myself is not easy. Also, try one behavior, just one thing he does, and work on that one thing till he gets it right. I had to start that way, and though new things pop up, it laid the ground work to help with it all. Aaron'smom40653.199525463
I'm sorry, it's my fault my son has ADHD? My son does these things because of me? And I'm not mad at everyone. I'm outspoken and refuse to believe that I will cause my son to grow up to be a horrible person because I believe in structure and doing things that you are supposed to do. I appreciate all CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and will give back freely, but do not judge me when you don't know me. I have went to the ends of the Earth for this child and continue to do so everyday. Am I angry? I am now. Am I overstressed? Of course I am, what parent who actually takes a stand in their childs life isn't? I didn't come here for parenting lessons or the fact that I care about my child to be picked apart. I came here because I feel alone, I feel like the world crashes down around me when Cody has one of his 'fits' because he can't play xbox but he forgets he didn't bring his homework home or he lied about something or stole something. I get upset and angry at him when he does something wrong and he knows its wrong. For the most part I keep my composure but everyone has their limits and I have to walk away. You can say whatever you want about me, I could care less. But do not attack my parenting. I love this child with all my heart, I have fought and fought for him ever since he was born and still do to this day. The only support I have EVER had in raising this boy was from my husband, so trust me it doesn't bother me in the slightest if I dont have yours. Just so this is not directed incorrectly, this is to no one else but 'Geeeemo'.
Now, that being said. I have decided to take a different approach in my child. I talked to the guidance counselor the other day and she said that Cody is gifted and that maybe an honors program would be the rght place for him. It would be structure and discipline that he needs. I have applied for him to have some one on one in school which will also go into middle school and may even give him some camp experience this summer. I am also trying to not pressure him so much, trying to let him know that when he feels he wants to lie or steal from me and his dad, he needs to come to me and talk to me, and I have also setup my homework time with his. I will not now or ever allow him to use this as a crutch, it is not a sickness, it is not a weakness. It is something that he will have with him for the rest of his life and he has to learn how to cope with it, and so do I. I appreciate all of the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I'll be sure and let you all know when he wins the Nobel Peace Prize.
your son sounds so much like mine, only I have 3 kids with ADHD, 2 of those also have ODD. I have one "normal" one. (my husband and most of his family have ADHD, so there is a very strong genetic link).
First of all, I find when the meds are right everything is so much better, in fact the ODD pretty much disappears. It is school holidays now so we are on minimal meds so we have had a difficult few weeks.......
I agree that you need to try to reward the positives where ever possible, and often it is very difficult to find the positive! I have found the marble system from this site to be fantastic with focussing on the positve. I made a chart with all the ways they can earn marbles, like brushing their teeth without being told etc. Then I make a chart of their morning routine. I look at the chart, really exagerating and say, "getting dressed, ds1 and ds2 get their marbles, what is next?" I dont' say "brush your teeth" because they only get them if they do it without being told. Then they literally run to the bathroom to brush their teeth. Also, they all lie like crazy, so I smell their breath before they get marbles. The trick is to have something they want in the prize box. At first they were all happy with for 100 marbles, but that was 2 years ago when the twins were 7 and dd was 5. Now they are older it costs me more, but is worth it.
We usually do it for a while, then it seems to stop working, or we lose interest? Don't know, we just kind of stop. Then, something will creep up, troubles with homework etc., and we bring out the marble jars again, I buy new prizes (most recently Nerf guns), and off we go.
I tend naturaly to be pretty strict. Unfortunately with ODD punishment seems to make them angry not compliant. I am really trying to focus more on rewarding the positives rather than punishing the negatives at the moment, I will let you know how it goes (if I am able to stick to it).
@Aaron's mom
No, no not at all. You are one of the few that did NOT make me feel attacked. It is very refreshing to know that I am not the only one dealing with these kinds of problems and for that I thank you.
Hi CodysM0m
I am not going to tell you that I understand what you're feeling right now because....I don't. I am not going to tell you how to parent your child because I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. My son Mark is 10yrs old & has combined adhd/odd. It was diagnosed 5yrs ago(and has been on meds for 4yrs), since and I didn't really understand what it was until the last month. I thought that I had done something wrong in parenting.
I have a 12 yr old daughter that is 100% different from her brother. What could I have done so drastically different that gave me him....He and I are exactly alike, I have undiagnosed adhd and can we butt heads. I now realize that I didn't do something wrong and that this is a disability that he has no control over.
Mark is much like your son. All I want to say is find one thing at the end of the day that made you smile, one thing that made you thankful for Cody. That will give you a reason to get up in the morning and then one thing that will start your day off on a positve note.
Realize that this is not a parenting issue and that you and Cody will get thru this one day at a time. I see on the side of the forum there are adhd clinics, coaches, maybe there is someone there that could steer you in the direction to find a mentor for him that understands adhd that could give him someone to "hang out" with.
If just to give you a break to recharge. I saw in one of your posts that you do have a friend that would be good for Cody, well, that might be a start. You need to have to be able to step away from this once in awhile. That, I completely understand!
Stay positive we are here for you,vent whenever you want! I will listen.
[QUOTE=Aaron'smom]know you are not alone, that my son is just like yours, and I am hoping that by the time he is an adult, he can atleast brush his teeth without me telling him.[/QUOTE]Count me in too. My grandson just turned 12 yesterday. He has also become a smart-mouthed, disrespectful boy, both at home and in school. He is in a wonderful charter school and doing well academically, but his attitude is always getting him in trouble, and they have hinted that they might not invite him back next year. I know that if I put him in regular public school, he'll become a lost cause. He also has to be reminded every single day to brush his teeth, put his clothes in the hamper, etc. I'm tired of the constant arguing and the nasty remarks.
Two weeks ago, I made a list of the things he does that are not acceptable and the consequences that he will get if he does them. I gave him a copy and told him that they were not negotiable. I also have started sending him to his room for 20 minutes every time he speaks to me with a nasty attitude. When he starts to argue with me, I try to nip it in the bud right away and tell him that I refuse to argue with him and if he doesn't do what I'm telling him to do, he won't do anything else (go outside, watch tv, play video games, etc.)until he has complied. So far, it seems to be working. The attitude still comes out, but it gets shut down immediately.
Wow, this discussion went right off into the ditch, didn't it? CodysMom, I have to say to you that we all have been where you are and some of us still are. All of us feel very strongly about advocating for kids with adhd, and sometimes that means telling it like we see it (or read it, as the case may be). The hardest thing for any parent of an adhd child is realizing and accepting the fact that your child is not the child you dreamed about when you were pregnant. ADHDers talk back and lie and get really angry and avoid doing anything they don't want to do and they need lots of cues and they frustrate the snot out of all of us and they are about two years behind their agemates in maturity. No one is suggesting that you let your child use it as a crutch. But you have to accept what life has dealt your child or you will make both of your lives miserable. Hear what I'm saying: I'm not saying that you caused the adhd nor am I saying that you are a bad mom. I'm saying that even now, after all these years of dealing with your child's adhd, it isn't cured and probably will never go away. Unfortunately that means your patience has to stretch a bit further and you have to come up with new ways of dealing as your child gets older. What if he starts to exhibit at-risk behaviors as he hits high school? Those things that you did when he was 8 won't work anymore.
That being said, you have to know, also, that some of the behaviors you mentioned can also exist in non-adhd children. My oldest son lied to my face at least every-other day when he was in high school because he didn't want to do homework. I hope that the new program you are enrolling your son into does the trick, but it might just take him more time to come around. And I have to say, "lazy" in an adhd child is VERY hard to label because some activities (like math) literally make them want to fall asleep. It's not a choice, it's physiological. You can argue with that if you like, but it's true nonetheless.
I hope that you don't give up on this site, because so many of the posters here really do know a lot about living with adhd and can give some great advice. Sometimes that advice comes in the form of a reality check for the parents. That's because their first priority is the kids. We all want to support each other and help each other through the rough patches. I hope that you can find some relief and a way to get some peace of mind.
And I just have to ask, why can't he play with the water when he's doing the dishes? He's a kid and water is fun. Also, I see adults eating with their mouths open in restaurants nearly every day and a trip to just about any public restroom will let you know that lots of people don't flush the toilet (or even hit it all the time...yuck). That doesn't make those bad habits right, but they are not capitol offences, either. Maybe sweating these small things is what's frustrating you.I don't like him to play in the water because he gets water all over my counter, which leads to the stove and the floor and then his little brother ends up running and falling. I am strict as well but have tried letting up as much as I can just because I don't want him to feel like he's in a prison. The closing the mouth thing, I'm NEVER giving up on that because it's manners and I'm still mom. I don't have a life outside of school/work/family because I jsut don't have the time. My husband and I have to schedule time for us because we are always doing stuff with the kids. I apologize for getting so worked up but I came here essentially looking for a shoulder to 'cry' on and just felt like I was being pulled apart by the teeth because I'm 'not taking care of my ADHD child correctly.' I already feel like a horrible parent and then to come here and feel like I'm being attacked, whether I am or not, just didn't make me feel any better.
I never meant for you to feel attacked. I just wanted you to know that your son wasn't the only one doing what he does. Sometimes it just makes it a bit easier if you know you aren't the only one with a child like ours. Hi, this forum is really a great place to vent. Everybody is genuinelyinterested in supporting parents who want to take positive action. Edward
De Bono said"problems are attention directing questions'.
Projects require certain skills which most people do not find easy. Find a
system for tackling projects that works for you and him. You will end up
with him learning an important life skill.
Grades are a very good way of getting feedback as to what to pay
attention to. Start with 1 to 3 important subjects get those subjects
working better and you both will find his learning style.
Turn your biggest struggles into the brightest stars that will light up the
universe. This just gets me over that initial helpless feeling when
confronted with my 14yr old son's ADD problems.
Consider investing in a personality test, this will give you an indication of
his strengths. Good luck!!! The levels of frustration one feels can very
seldom make sense.Isn't it nice to talk to people who have all been annoyed with their kids to the point of nearly selling them? Yet we all make it through and I'd like to think we're better parents for it. It comes in waves. I hope you're getting to an easier part soon!
Ok first off, I know my kid and trust me when I say that he is a very pleasant and entertaining child for the most part. But I will also tell you that when I say he is lazy, it is because he actually is being lazy. He doesn't want to do his homework correctly but he wants to go play the Xbox. He doesn't want to make his bed but he wants to get on the computer. Now for one, I did not come here to be told how to talk to my kid. I did not come here to have those that are 'soooo well off' tell me how to treat my child. I believe I am a very good parent for all of the difficulties I have had to deal with in having this child and have not thrown in the towel nor will I ever. My husband and I have had struggle after struggle with this boy and will continue to do so I am sure. However, do NOT shake the 'holier than thou' attitude with me because you have prospered so much. Have I told him he has a smart mouth? Darn skippy. Have I told him that he needs to stop being lazy and put forth effort and do his best. Roger that. However, you ask my son, who throws fits and does all the crazy hair pulling stuff that he does, who is behind him, who picks him up when he needs it, who is the one person he knows he can count on when everyone else gives up on him? Me. So don't attack me as a parent and make it seem like I will cause him to have a horrible life until he is in his thirties. My son has gifts he hasnt even reached yet and I am only trying to help him to bring forth those gifts. I don't know how your parents, family and friends were growing up...but I can assure I'm not the bad parent you make me out to be.
That being said, everyone else who had constructive comments to make about therapy, support groups, medications, etc. let me assure you that I am doing everything in my power to make things as easy and positive for him that I can. I am only human, I control as much as I can but even I need to vent. My husband holds everything in and he maintains but I have no family or friends to talk to because my life revolves around my family. I appreciate your support and advice and allowing me the ability to vent my frustrations out to you. There are times I feel as if I cannot go on and then I pick myself up and I continue. Such is life. Again I thank you for your ear.
Hi CodysMOm,I read your message with real interest. As a parent herself with ADD and having a child probably with ADD I can identify too well with this word 'lazy'.
Just by chance after I had left this page I took a look at an article that a highly reputable doctor has written about this issue.
I quote from him here (Dr. Ratey)
Too often the professionals who work with adults explicitly or implicitly support the adult's belief that his or her problems stem from a lack of motivation. This occurs primarily because the professional does not recognize the problem as being one of attention. Looking at the behavioral patterns and problems of these adults through the lens of attention significantly alters the way in which one views their frailties and foibles. In addition, it offers the professional an opportunity to help the adult develop a sense of self worth as a productive person able to relate well to others.
Here Ratey says it is the professionals but I think it is the family just as much. I am not accusing, I am hoping that it helps you to understand where this 'laziness' is coming from. I think if you can understand its source it will help you to deal with it.Is a psychiatrist (NOT a pediatrian) managing the medication?
Does he have a 504 plan at school? Meaning, are the adults taking responsibility to recognize his disability and providing him with the tools needed for success?
Are you supporting his academics by providing a tutor?
Is he receiving therapy? A psychiatrist managing the meds could work with a therapist.
Have you considered moving him to another school? You can do this mid year. If he is getting picked on and the adults are not providing support via a 504, then maybe he is at the wrong school.
It is typical for ADHD kids to be motivated by rewards. You could set up a reward system.
I also sometimes have to stand behind my child before meds, and then after they wear off, to get things done. I don't think it's abnormal. Instead of telling yourself that your son is lazy smart mouth that wants you to hold his hand for everything, repeat to yourself over and over that he has a mental disability, his emotional development is not at age level, and he needs your support.
As a Social worker, I can say all kinds of things. As a Mom of a 5 yr old with ADHD, I can completly understand your frustration and concerns. It can be a lonely, frustrating place to be.
Counseling can be helpful for all of you. It gives a great place to vent and get an outside pair of eyes to help clarify what is going on. It is difficult to be a Parent of a child with ADHD and also difficult to see other children say hurtful things to your son. Finding a good counselor can improve everyone's outlook and give your Son another place to talk about his feelings about the teasing he gets at school. SOme of what you see from your son could be his reaction to what is going on at school. Stay strong Mom and Keep up the good work.
Positive reinformcement is also helpful. The rewards can be simple like a 1/2 hour of video games or allowance or staying up 1/2 later. It helps him feel like he can win or be good at something. Once a good behavior has been firmly established then you can start to reward him every other time and then phase it out. Then its time to work on a new behavior issue using the same technique.
Finally, make sure you are taking care of yourself and your marriage as well as caring for your wonderful son. Things can get better but getting help is not a bad thing and make the process easier and faster. Good Luck!!
Hi I am Codys Mom and I have taken a break from the ADHD parent forum scene but as my son gets older it is getting worse. My son is now 11. He was born 3 months early weighing at 2 lbs 8 oz. We knew something was wrong when he just couldn't sit still or pay attention. So at 3 years old we made the difficult decision to put him on medicine. He has been on medicine ever since. Some have worked some have not. He is currently on Aderall XR and for the most part it is working. However, here is my problem. I am at my wits end. He is in the 5th grade because we had to hold him back in Kindergarden and his projects, grades and everything else is suffering. He does not care about his school work, he gets picked on all the time at school, he tries to be like the other kids but he can't. I don't let him use his problem as a crutch. I don't let him use the excuse that he can't pay attention to get out of doing something. I have to stand behind him while he brushes his teeth, I have to constantly remind me about his shoes and making his bed, he continues doing stuff even after we have told him not to and he never has a reason as to why. He is smartmouth, he is lazy and only wants to do something if he will get rewarded. How am I supposed to teach him how to behave and act in the world when he wants me to hold his hand for everything? I love this boy more than anything else but I work, go to school full time, have to pick him up and take him home because he can't be trusted to ride the bus, on top of my my toddler and my husband. My husband helps out tremendously but it's beginning to cause wear and tear on us. I try to walk away from Cody when he has his dramatic fits when the world is against him but he continues to sit in his room and scream and throw things. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry if I have poured out my heart and soul here but I am really beaten down and just about broken. I don't know what else to do. Maybe someone has some suggestions or reassurance or something. I be damned if I'm giving up on him but I just wish he would put as much effort in as I do. Thanks for listening.
The questions/suggestions by Jessica and Lori are very much on target. The one thing I would suggest is that you consider that your son is not lazy or not trying.
ADHD is a disability effecting executive function. What this means is that we can have tremendous difficulty putting together steps or tasks that would seem ridiculously simple to somone else. A description I have heard used was like having a bunch of great musicians playing together with the direction of an awful orchestra leader.
As a child I was told I was lazy and not trying hard enough from around 10 years old until about 25. I was a textbook underacheiver. By about 35 I had accepted what I had been labeled as and had given up on myself as a loser. A lazy loser who was working 15-20 hours a day. I discovered my ADHD about 7 years ago and realized why I had difficulty. Today, I am working with clients around the world and directing the flow of billions of dollars, while building a world for those with ADHD. Even with that I can still have tremendous difficulty making a simple phone call or sending a simple e-mail. I'm glad that I overcame the labels of "lazy" and "not trying".
Telling someone with ADHD that they're not trying hard enough is like telling a blind child to look harder.
I know the tone of this may sound harsh. My only intention is to illustrate that your child may not be behaving the way it appears to you. An open and accepting mind can work wonders for your child's mental health and self-image.
Best wishes for you and your family,
- Chris
CodysMOm,
I understand your frustration. Having an ADHD child is very isolating, at least it was for me. It's better now and I have come out in the open about it more and more. I was always very concerned that if I opened up about both children the nasty comments about ADHD would follow. I was most concerned about the judgement of medicating. It does get better. I am sorry you felt attacked on the board.
Ihope things get better for you and thankfully you have a husband that is supportive. I am lucky that my husband is very supportive and we are on the same page about everything. Good luck.
We have tried it all. Recently I have decided to change my own attitude towards life in hopes that it will help change his perception as well. It is still a work in progress. My one issue that I found was I feel I am alone in the world. Not just as a parent but as a person because I have isolated myself in fear of the reactions from the world. My husband and I have had to accommodate Cody because of the ADHD and it's sad that we don't function 'normally'. Now I am at a crossroads where I want to be more out in the open and make friends. My problem is I'm scared. I've had to deal with this for so long, how are people going to react to me? Will people accept me and my child? Can I trust someone enough to get close to them? Cody is a major joy in my life; he is my child and I love him endlessly. However, in dealing with the issues we have faced (and continue to face) I feel as if I have lost a part of me in the transition. How do I get that back? Or how do I stop feeling like a lost wanderer? My goodness as i sit and read all of the posts & replies I can see my own life with my 11 yr old ADHD son right before my eyes. I always felt very alone as a parent of an ADHD child, feeling as if I had done something wrong as a parent because I have to constantly repeat, remind and walk my 11 yr old thru his everyday activities from getting up, getting dressed, eating, brushing teeth, taking his meds, everything EXCEPT for playing! Apparently I am not alone in this world. I am a mother of 4 boys 13 thru 7 Cyle being 11 is the only one diagnosed with ADHD. And let me tell ya some days I sit and cry, some days I yell and some days I am able to sit and snuggle with him! I am tearful even in writing this because until I joined today I really did feel very alone going thru this. We all here how to help the child, but how do you also help the parents who live through this as well? I really think that we are very special people who go through thngs with all of our children and especially our ADHD or ADD children the the "normal" parent that preaches how great they are at parenting couldn't handle!Well Kristyelea....you sure summed that up! I totally relate to everything you said. You're right, this is a great place for all of us to vent, ask questions and give advice to things we tried . Glad you found us! My son is 10 with combined adhd and odd.Codys mom,
We so need to talk!!! I can empathize with EVERYTHING you are going through. My son, who will be 11 in August is very close to your child in behavior. He wants to play on the computer, the wii, the play station etc...but rushed through his homework etc......and I am like you, I will NOT reward poor behavior. So, for starters, here is what we did:
I got a poster board and listed the things that we felt needed to be: They are things like good table manners, doing your chores, following directions the first time, no back talking, no tattle tailing etc.... Now, I gave each child 12 tokens ( poker chips), one child red and one blue. When you do something wrong, you get one warning. After that, you have to give a token. Each token is worth 20 minutes of electronics ( tv, wii, play station, nintendo, computer). They earn tokens for the next day so on Monday, they are setting the time for Tuesday.
When my older son called my younger son a name, I put out my hand and said "token". When he whined about it, I asked for a second one. After handing then to me, he looked at my younger son and said " thanks a lot". With that, I held out my hand and said Token. Hubby and I are both on the same page with this and it is enforced without exception. As a result, the atmosphere in the home has gotten much better. Chores consist of dressing yourself in the morning, making your bed, brushing your teeth, and feeding the dog and taking out the trash. If they come down in the am and I find no teeth brushed and beds unmade, it is a token right then and there.
I so feel your pain. My son is great except he is so lacking in social skills that he has no friends in our neighborhood ( they have a all rejected him) and he acts like a whiney 4 year old when is playing with others. It is really very sad.