oppositional behavior | ADHD Information

That Explosive Child book I mentioned said rewards don't really work with these kids. They say the kids already know what we want and are already trying to please us. Although on some days, I have to wonder. It's all about the conversation you have with them. Make them come up with workable solutions, etc. Like I said - a lot of work, but it does seem to work when we as parents can calm ourselves down and follow the plan. Impossible some days, only nearly impossible on others.

I hope things calm down at your house soon!

Hi, when my ADD son flares up about issues I let him stand in front of a
mirror and blow. Maybe even blowing out candles(be careful with little ones)
early in the morning can add some fun. Even balloons might do the trick.I have tried positive reinforcement, rewards and the like. He has to earn computer and TV time. The problem is, when he gets in one of his moods, nothing works. I put him in time out, but it's not like a normal kid who will sit quietly for a few minutes. He screams the entire time and will stay in his room screaming for an hour before he calms down. I took a parent training class that just didn't seem to make a difference. I'm really at my wits end with him and he is only 5.

ek2739, at that  young age my son also screamed when in time out and then later (age 7-8) he would not only scream but bang on furniture, wee on the floor (only 3 times!), throw things in the room and use horrible talk (I hate you, I'm running away)  and around 8-9 yrs it seem to click that if he went to his room in a quiet manner, he'd be out within a short time so now he goes in there no problems.

Somebody suggested earlier med's in the morning........that may help.

Could you use a timer for certain things.............see if you can get dressed before the timer gors off (beat the timer).   Maybe if he's ready to walk out the door and all is done by whatever time you chose, he can stay up a little later (again, you choose a time).

Bear in mind, he is still very young at only 5 so he is at a difficult age (I think so anyway)..........those years were hell for me (with a 5 & 4 yr old)

Best wishes

My son's school originally requested that he be tested for ODD. Turns out
he has ADHD. His oppositional behaviors didn't stop after we got his ADHD
stabilized, and so we did further testing and it turns out he has Asperger
Syndrome. Now that we're treating that (lots of talk therapy, lots of story
telling - it's not like that show Parenthood, believe me ) he's made huge
progress.

So I'd say - don't stop looking. Yes it's a pain to go through all the testing,
but it's worth it in the end.

Good luck!The book "The Explosive Child" is really good. But it requires a ton of patience and lots of talking and negotiation. Unfortunately, some morning things are not up for debate. If evenings are going okay, I'd sneak into his bedroom and give him his meds about 30 minutes before he needs to get up. Then he can slowly get up and have some extra time to relax and let the meds hit before you start getting him ready to go. An immediate reward? If desperate enough, I would resort to dangling a donut out there.

My son is 9.5 yrs old and diag adhd and I beleive he also has ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder).  My son's is related to his adhd. I was seeing a therapist all last year for the ODD behaviours and basically you have to parent them differently to "regular" kids.  Basically, if I nag and harp on and on to my son for something he will get real oppositonal and mouthy so I have to try to avoid confrontation with him. Some things I do have to let slide and ignore.  I have to try to avoid saying NO to hom e outright and say it in a different context...........yes, once you have done this or yes, when you have done this.

You mention your son having difficulty aqccepting NO for an answer and our son went through thisn and would have meltdowns so we really need to think of whjy we are saying NO and if possible changed to Yes, once homework done (example only) . There are times when you have to say NO  but we were just saying NO all the time without thinking why.

There are plenty of books in the public libraries on ODD behaviours to borrow.

I know for us personally, alot of my sons oppositional behaviours were from the way me and hubby reacted to my son (ie: stressed about adhd behaviours so we would react to son in a negative way and then son would react back to us in oppositional way).

Good luck, the ODD is so much harder than the ADHD itself.

I can definitley understand what your going through, when you say he can't take no for anwser my son (7 yrs, ADHD, ODD to an extreme) my son also does this and will not only follow me around bagering, but if I ignore him or try to go in to another room and shut a door he will become violent. I did just read "The Explosive Child" and it does seem to help to stop some of the oppositional behaviors. I just need to practice the method more so that I can use it consistantly. My son is very oppositional, especially in the monring when he hasn't had his meds yet. I really am fed up with his bahvior. We try all the positive reinforcement and sticker charts and time-outs, but it doesn't seem to work. I never give in after I say no, but he doesn't take no for an answer and continues badgering me until I put him in time out. Nothing works. Any suggestions? We had the worst problem last year. My daughter started in a different
school with new kids. Also she started 4th grade which involved a LOT of
homework. Her behavior started to become violent. I could not control her
emotionally and physically. We went to a psychiatrist and she was put on
meds for depression (I cannot remember which at the moment). They made
her loopy. Her therapist suggested we take her off of them and guess what
after a few sessions, it was determined she has ADD.
Once we get her new medicine straightened out, she has been fine. But in
the morning or when her meds wear off, I almost have to ignore her to avoid
confrontation. There is a real good book called, 'The Explosive Child', by
Ross Greene, that has some great ways to deal with that behavior.I have the same issues with my 9 year old son. This
morning he decided he didn't want to participate in the
Just Running Program at school this afternoon and I told
him he only had 2 weeks left and there was no good reason
to just quit. He argued ALL morning about it...wouldn't
get dressed, dragged his feet, put his head on the table
at breakfast. Every morning it is something. It's like
he gets stuck and can't just move forward unless
everything is exactly how he needs it to be. And even
then, he will just sit on his bed until I get so upset
and start threatening him. I feel like I'm at my wits
end. There just isn't time for "the game" in the
morning when we need to get out of the house to catch the
bus. I am going to try to give him his meds 1/2 hour
before wake-up starting tomorrow...my only concern is
that it will be out of his system that much earlier in
the afternoon and we need to get through our afternoon
activities on certain days. Sorry for the rant...it was
a rough morning. Thankfully, it ended on a good note,
and he made it to the bus stop in a good mood and, YES,
he will be at Just Running this afternoon : ).