my sons, age 9, have recently been displaying allot of weird sexual behaviour as well. It started at school last year, with another (ADHD!) boy - he instigated it. They started in the locker room by showing each other their penis's. It went on to "sucking". There appeared to be 6 boys involved in total. My husband and I brought it up to the principal - called him at home during the summer break. He took what we thought was very appropriate action and we felt it was over (of course I felt sick for most of the summer, but it seemed to work out fine).
Now I have just found out that there have recently been incidents with some neighbor children - it appears all were just "showing" no "touching". Again, we have talked, they are no longer able to go to the neighbor's house, and they only play at our house under strict supervision.
The problem is, with my kids, they don't care about rules. they don't seem to care about consequences until after they have them. What do we do to get them to obey rules even if they think they are not going to get caught? They lose priveleges, they get grounded etc. We reward for good behaviour.
I was reluctant to take them to a therapist about this before because I thought it was probably blowing it out of proportion. I spoke to the school councillor and he also felt that was unnecesary, but now with the neighbor thing I don't know. What is normal?
I have read that ADHD children have a higher sexual desire??? Or should I say maybe they react on it more?? But my son is 9 and we (husband and toddler) were traveling back from my dad's house - while in the airport waiting for our flight my son had rebounded from meds... he was on the floor humping it!!! I could have died! I had never seen him act this way before or since... that was 6 months ago. I do get concerned with all this as well! I worry about my daughter who is 5 years younger than him... (they are both adopted at birth - through national adoption agency... my son's birthfather has serious issues and found out later the birthmothers brother had issues with behavior they sent him away to a home from age 8 - 17... so he is getting it from both sides
these poor kids!!!
my son is nine and has shown weird sexual behavior/pre-occupationYour son is almost 16? Then I wouldn't worry about him being interested in porn sites. It's certainly not odd. That's a really normal age for boys to explore that kind of stuff, though your family's values may require that you let him know you think it's wrong. My oldest was caught surfing that stuff at 14. I let him know that I think it's degrading to women, that most of those pictures are photoshopped anyway, and that exposure to stuff like that can change the way he views women and his expectations of actual live women, and that it was absolutely not allowed in our home.
As far as the third-grade behavior with the dog, did you ask a professional about that? I was a daycare provider for many years and had to do training every year. We were taught that it is very common for children to display a touching or "humping" behavior (especially at nap time, often utilizing dolls or stuffed animals or their wadded up blankie) as early as the toddler years, perhaps younger if they happen to get their hands inside their diapers. Your history makes this a sensitive issue for you, but it really is common. If you continue to worry about it, ask a professional instead of fretting about what your son is up to and possibly negatively affecting his thoughts and feelings about sex.
It's good that you are addressing these issues and not writing it off to young curiosity. I agree that he seems very young to be displaying these behaviors. I imagine you know that early interest in sexual behavior can be a marker that someone has sexually abused him. I am NOT saying that's definitely happened, but I'd want a professioinal to explore this possibility with him and get him the needed help if it indeed happened/is happening.
Based on your history, I'm sure this is a difficult subject for you, and I'm sorry you are going through this with your child.
I need to raise one point that does not require a response on this message board. Just think about it. You said that you are an incest survivor. Has your perpetrator been around your son? These behaviors often get repeated, and your child being a boy doesn't mean it won't happen with him. If this person is part of his life, I would not leave them alone together.
I hope you find a helpful professional. I would contact either your pediatrician or the school counselor to find a child therapist experienced in this area. If you want more anonymity, see if there's an anonymous hotline through your county.
Thanks for your response. I actually have spoke with all my children about my abuse so as to make sure they were aware of what the abuser did and to head him off at the path, so to speak, just in case. I always made sure to protect my kids from my abuser BUT I know we can't protect them from all that are out there. I have spoke with my son about sexual abuse and he assures me it has never happened to him. My son is almost 16 so not too young to speak openly with him about these things. I've always tried to keep open lines of communication because I know that secrets and shame are a molestors valuable tools.
I've been doing A LOT of reading and have noticed many, many parents of kids with ADHD speaking out about odd sexual behaviors from their children. I'm beginning to wonder if there's something else tagging along with the ADHD. I know he suffers from a touch of OCD and a couple other little things the Psychiatrist assures me is common.
My sister, who works in the mental health field, believes a teen coiunselor may be the path I should try. At this point, I'm willing to try anything. I've taken computer access at home away and implemented parental controls on his phone. Hope I can find an answer that we all can live with happily.
My son is worrying me with his curiosity of sex. I've always watched him closely because of early, third grade, odd sexual behaviors. For example, I caught him once laying on top of the family dog humping away. Anyway, I have always been extremely sensitive to what he may be going through because I am an incest survivor. That being said, I've always tried to keep an open mind and understand that certain behaviors are normal but the dog behavior was definitely not.
Just recently I've discovered his fascination with porn sites. Again, I just warned him to stay off and grounded him from the computer. I've found text messages from someone who he met on a gaming site. The text were inappropriate and I warned him how dangerous that could be. I text the person on the other end and told them to never communicate with my son again. I have now found new communication on my sons phone and sites that involve beastiality porn.
I'm wondering is there a specific type of counselor that deals with these type of things or will the psychiatrist be the one to handle this?
Psychiatrists manage meds. You want a therapist. Probably a male