New - lots of questions? | ADHD Information

I'm new here so I will quickly tell you about my situation. I have an 11
yo son, who will be seeing the doctor soon for his first/initial appt. He
is a very difficult child, has a hard time academically at school, can't
stay focused, argues about everything, he acts up in class and is
disrespectful to his teacher. He doesn't have many friends (my
husband is military so we live on an AF base), and his best friend just
moved away.

At home, my son has outbursts, is very disrespectful, argues about
everything, loses everything and is just a handful. Emotionally you
never know how to handle him, or how he will handle you. I have
been concerned about ADD for years, but now I'm also concerned he
shows some symptoms of Aspergers and ODD. I have tried to talk to
his teachers year after year and I never get anywhere. They just think
my son is a problem kid and doesn't want to learn (which is true in a
way). He HATES school, but I think it's mainly because he feels like a
failure and I feel like the system has failed him. So with some great
friends who brought some things to my attention I have decided I'm
not waiting anymore.

We go to the doctor in a few weeks. We live in a remote area and will
have to travel 4.5 hours one way to see the doctor. My husband is
deploying soon (less than 2weeks and will not be at the appt). I'm
worried about the diagnosis and getting my son on track while dad is
away. I need to make a list of questions to ask the doctor at our visit,
but honestly. Am completely overwhelmed. I'd love information an
input from others who have already been here done that sort of thing. I forgot to add that I'm concerned about medicating. Especially
because of the side effects. My son only weighs 60 pounds and is 11
(will be 12 in Oct ). He already doesn't eat very well at all, and I'm
concerned with that.

I just feel so overwhelmed. I have been reading through the forums all
morning, and this seems like a great place for support.

Thanks in advance ,
Jennifer

With our son the dr started by having us and the teacher fill out forms, answering questions on how often he did certain things like interrupting, climbing on things when it's not appropriate, etc.  With you having to go so far to see the dr, I would phone the office and find out if there is anything you can do ahead of time and have ready for the appointment.  I have no idea how much time is booked for your initial appointment, but I think it would be awfully frustrating to get there, see the specialist for 20 minutes, and be sent home with 'homework.'

My biggest piece of advice is not to decide what you will do or will not do just yet, regarding medication.  I was very against meds for my son too, but they have turned his life around.  He is so much happier, I can't even describe it.  Fortunately they haven't affected his appetite too much.

Good luck with everything.  I hope you get some answers and soon have a happier child (and a happier you!)

Willa

My son is 10yrs old, ADHD combined and ODD I was totally against medication at first as well. We tried everything....finally after the almost two years I gave in. He has been on several different medications adderall and biphentin he was loosing weight so we tried concerta his weight stabalized but it seemed to stop working. The school wanted to see what he would be like without meds....what a mistake! We are now trying vyvanese. It seems to be working, but when it wears off.....hurricane! Like right now!!! ugh

Now that I understand adhd it is a lot better to manage. Knowing that it is a disability and a chemical imbalance in his brain, makes sense. He has NO control over this and we just have to keep trying. I don't argue with him anymore, he hates school (doesn't like the mundane things and gets bored easily) as well and he doesn't have many friends.Although with this new medication I have noticed that the boys in the neighbourhood are tolerating him for longer periods.
I read that they are about 2 to 4yrs behind kids their own age emotionally and socially.  Remember to give positive feedback for every little good thing he does.

First accept that he has this and that you didn't do anything wrong . Get all the information you can and read everything. You have to understand and accept this before you can help your son or his teachers. Then you become his advocate and stand up for him. Ask for all the help you can get from the school, IEP, tutors, a computer to do his work on. Try not to get frustrated with him and try to stay calm when talking to him to does get a little easier.
Willa: We had filled out the forms and questionnaires. I have sent over
our copy as well as the forms the teacher filled out as well. When I
talked to the nurse at the doctors office, she told me the appointment
would take an hour. She said the doctor has been specialized in
Autism/ADD for 30 plus years. I think the nurse was a little upset that
my husband couldn't be there for the interview/question process. And
honestly I'm sad he can't be there as well. The nurse said after our
appointment it would take about a week or less for the doctor to write
his report. I'm not sure but I'm guessing once the report is written it
will be sent to my sons pediatrician? Right?

Notmyfault1: thanks so much for your response. I am trying to stay
positive, about the appointment, and getting the diagnosis. I'm hoping
to in the next few weeks, start trying to make a list of questions to ask
at our appointment. And I plan to continue reading about the disability
so I can understand better. I know I will have o be my sons advocate,
since I haven't been able to get the school on board with anything.
And he has been in 3 different schools (so it's not just one school). I
guess I will try not to over analyze the medication issue, and ask the
doctor his opinions and even just wait and see once we get a
diagnosis. I'm just hoping I can find the strength to tackle this on my
own with a 15 month old, and my husband being deployed!

But thanks so much for the responses and support. I truly appreciate
it!