Constant Complaining! | ADHD Information

Mine is almost 9 and he argues EVERYTHING.  Seriously, I can't make a demand or request without him telling me (in a very aggrieved tone) why he shouldn't have to do it, or why he really should be allowed to have that umpteenth junky snack, or why he really needs to have extra time on his iPod...  it's very wearing.  We use the marble system and lately I am taking marbles for arguing, and the odd time that he doesn't argue I often give him a marble.  I'll let you know in a few months if it's helping...  LOLUmm are you sure you don't have MY 9year-old at your house?!

Mine does get his homework done upon immediately coming in the door
after school (or if I have to run an errand as soon as he gets home,
immediately after that) but that's because I made it non-negotiable. He
gets no iPod, no 3DS, no Wii or TV until after the homework is finished.
The only time I bend that rule is if he's got an extensive amount of
homework and then I'll let him listen to music on his iPod.

I just don't take anything he says personally. though sometimes he's
absolutely correct - I AM hard on him and DO expect a lot out of him (he's
got an older, autistic brother and I need him to be a good example for his
older brother). I know this and I have told him he has every right to get
mad at something I may ask him to do - but that he can be POLITE and
courteous when voicing his displeasure.

Not sure I'm much help am I?It is nice to know that I'm not the only one going through
this!!!

I'm just SO frustrated I could scream!  Everything I say to my 9 year old is met with resistance! 

Like today, for example, he and his brother were going to play down the street and I told him they could go for 15 minutes and then come home for dinner.  He moaned and groaned LOUDLY complaining that it's not enough time blah, blah,blah.  I told him sorry it's the way it is and he stomped out the door only to return a few minutes later.  When I asked why they weren't playing baseball with the neighbor boys....he told me that they had to go in and DO CHORES!  And guess what?  Those boys weren't complaining like mine does over something so trivial!!   Maybe they did, but it wasn't loud (like mine) and THEY DID WHAT THEY WERE TOLD! 

Is it a common trait of ADHDr's to feel absolutely ZERO responsibility for anything.  It's like he comes home from school and he's DONE.....doesn't have to do chores, homework, have to listen to us.....he went to school, now he's done.  He does want to read all of the time (which is a VERY good thing, I know) but it's like I"m bothering him when I tell him to do his hw....he'll say "I'm reading".....it has a "get lost mom" undertone that drives me nuts!! 

So, long story short, I"m asking for words of wisdom on how to "grow thicker skin" and not let his attitude cause my blood pressure to rise on a daily basis.  Is this normal? And how do you deal with it?  It's not like he can be in trouble every minute of the day....I like to choose my battles, but it's very difficult!!   I feel intimidated by my own child.......I end up doing so many things FOR him since I'm afraid to hear that tone and attitude.  How sad is that?

Thanks for any help,

Andrea

Matt age 9 adhd