I am reading "the explosive child" book right now... seems very good for this issue... I have the same problem with my DS9.
I have the same issue. My son rages in the morning. We give him so much support and love. He does weekly therapy, and still everyday is a battle. He is 4 years old, and I cannot even keep him in school. His best friend moved away, which adds to the sadness. Its so hard when you feel like you are doing the best you can, and still doesnt helpI highly recommend the book 123 Magic. It is a very short, simple book but makes so much sense. The theory is that it eliminates arguing. We find when are children get really bad it is often because we are not following the principles as well as we should.
I actually bought the book on my own but since have had both our dev. pediatrician and psychologist recommend it.
Have you ever had your child checked for ODD? Often times ADHD comes with ODD as well as other behavior disorders. My ds age 7 occasionally displays anger and aggression and I have learned that it is a manipulative technique of his. Although he does not have ODD, he has seemed to learn that if he explodes he will get his way. Maybe 2 years ago before meds that is the way that it was because his temper tantrums were impossible to deal with and would last a hour. Which by the way is still taking me two years to undo the fact that all he would have to do is through a fit and he would get what he wants. Now a days I do not fall for it. The minute he starts he will be sent to his room. He can explode and cry in there but I do not address that. I let him know when he calms down we can talk. He knows that if he gets to out of control with his temper and anger something will be taken away. Such as his outdoor privilages, games etc. I do not walk around with the idea that he has ADHD so he just automatically does not know how to act. I take time to work with his behaviors and help him figure out a way to do learn how to deal with his anger. I know that he is fully capable of doing anything a undiagnosed child can do. As long as I continue to hold him accountable he will know so to. I also feel as if I do not show him there are consequences to his negative actions he will never learn. I have heard several people say that consequences do not work with ADHDers and I must say I disagree. My son weather he is on meds or meds have worn off knows that if he does something he is not suppossed to there will be a consequence. He has also told me several times "Mom, I almost did that but I knew I would get in trouble." As long as you show your son that he does not have power over you and his mom you will see a change. Show him that you as the parents are in control and he can do things the right way and good things will come from that or he can do things the wrong way which will lead to bad things. More then ever it is just typical of a ADHD son take advantage and manipulate me as his mom as he knew just the right buttons to push to make me cave. Once I stood up for myself and showed him that I am the boss and he will do it my way things have changed. ADHD or not I think that is true in all kids. Goodluck in your journey. As hard as the years have been for me I would not trade my son for anything. I just continue to stay strong and continue to raise him into being the best man he can be!My husband and I both have given in to our DS6 for so long