it in you to help anymore? My son is 11 and has ADHD, some anxiety and possibly ODD. I am so tired of helping with the schoolwork and tests for him to walk away with only a C, the redirecting, the impulsiveness, everything. For an example we went to a travel agent yesterday to book a family vacation. He could not sit still. He had to walk outside into wooded area, brought back in a broken trophy, and finally I had to interrupt the meeting to bring him back in and make him sit. Then he starts looking through the desks where he is sitting and then I had to redirect several times. And the whole time my husband is able to ignore the behaviour when I am concerned about his being picked up outside by a stranger and the disrespectfullness of going through other peoples things.
And at school I try to help him study for tests and work extra with him and he just doesn't have it in him to care whether he studies for one hour or three. He plays baseball and wants to be on the team, but just doesn't show that he is really into the game or even being capable of being on top of anything.
I think he is afraid of trying because of failure and has always been this way...and it shows. I just feel like I want to give up and let the chips fall where they may. The school refuses to give him an IEP because he "gets by just fine" and is too smart.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I'm in Canada so things may work differently here, but how does the school have a choice in whether he has and IEP or not? Here the psychologist diagnoses him, he gets a 'code' for his behaviour etc, and the school is required to provide him with an IPP, the Canadian version of IEP. The teacher is required to make provisions etc that the parent can agree with, and is required to document how they work and how the child is making progress, or not.
My school said the same... if you request a 504 plan they by law have to do it. All you have to do is tell them you want it... if issue, ask them if you need an Advocate to request it... from what I hear they will jump once you say that!!
My DS9 teacher kept giving my son detention (sit at desk instead of recess) for not writing his spelling words in the book but instead on separate sheet of paper I gave him when he would forget his book... well, I wrote very direct email and now that is not happening... told him these kids need to release their energy etc... I even attached the letter you can find online called dear mom and dad from your adhd son letter, i think that is the name... you will find it if you google it... once the teacher read that he had a very different tune.. and thanked me for sending it to him... it is a letter written from adhd child explaining what it feels like to have adhd... VERY POWERFUL letter!!!!
good luck!
Trixiecat,
Don't give up he needs you! My son is 10 and has ADHD/combined and ODD, he is currently on 60mg of Vyvanese. He wouldn't have been able to sit either. In those instances I make sure I have his DS XL so that he can still and play while I'm talking. If he wants to walk around outside, I let him because I know that he will come back every few minutes. I"ve made that a rule and he does that very well.
Our kids need to be in control of something because they can't control themselves. As far as school goes the teachers need to know and understand what this is and you need to keep bugging them until you get your 504, as finallyamom suggested.
I'm in Canada as well and all it took was a diagnosis from the psychiatrist and I had my IEP. Keep on them he will need modifications and breaks throughout the day. My son has break cards, when he feels that he needs a break he is able to use one to sit quietly and do a word search puzzle or to take a walk down to the office.
I /We all understand how frustrating and hair pulling this is but, just remember he's NOT in control and he really does need your help.