10+ Years on Adderall | ADHD Information

dear mad poet....  I agree with jessica about the generalities of Adderall's psychological effects (plus remember, most of the time these articles are describing its recreational use, not prescribed use) and also about it not changing your underlying personality. 

But you seem concerned or curious enough about who "the real you" is that i'd recommend that you take a medication holiday and see what that's like. 

I also recommend that you not "freak out" over all the "what ifs" related to your taking medication*.  While I don't agree 100% with Jessica's contention that your writing wouldn't be as good w/o meds (i never had medication when i was educated), i think we'd both agree  that it's most likely that your taking medication over the years has aided, not hindered,  you to be the "you" that you want to be.

*think about the alternative.... never having taken any ADD meds.  You'd be wondering how things would be different now had you taken medication, and likely think your parents and teachers were insensitive and negligent for not recognizing and trying to help you manage your ADD traits!

So yeah, as the title says, I've been taking adderall and
other ADHD medications. I'm currently 21, and I started
on the meds when I was seven years old. I was on small
amounts of adderall for most of my life, and it was being
supplemented with dexatrine, ridain, and other drugs that
I currently can't remember, the supplements being
switched from time to time. Currently I'm taking 30mg of
Adderall XR a day, and have been on just that for the
past six years.

There's the background information, and now for the
reason why I'm here.

I've had trouble with relationships recently, and it got
me thinking: Is it possible that the long-term use of
adderall has somehow inhibited the development of my
brain in such a way that it makes it more difficult for
me to keep relationships?

I had no previous knowledge in this matter, so I sat down
and started doing some research into what adderall
actually is and how it works. A few of the psychological
side-effects that I came across while reading are as
follow:

"Psychological effects can include euphoria, anxiety,
increased libido, alertness, concentration, energy, self-
esteem, self-confidence, sociability, irritability,
aggression, psychosomatic disorders, psychomotor
agitation, grandiosity, excessive feelings of power and
superiority, repetitive and obsessive behaviors, and
paranoia." (Taken from wikipedia, though I've read
through various other articles that corroborate most, if
not all of the aforementioned side-effects)

Now...I sent that description to one of my friends, and
his immediate response was "Why are you describing
yourself to me?" I'm not kidding. I fit that description
above perfectly. Every single thing listed above.

I realize that most of these things fade upon no longer
taking the medication, so the problem isn't the fact that
the meds can potentially cause such behavior;

My problem is that I'm wondering whether or not its
possible that I've only known how to act like that for so
long that it's become ingrained into me, and that all of
my personality traits were learned through the use of
this drug. I'm wondering whether or not I'm my own
person, or if I was built this way because I knew of no
other way to act and learned through how the medication
forced me to perceive reality. Keep in mind that the meds
are all I've ever really known, and I've had them in my
system throughout the entirety of my childhood and
through my development as a person. So yeah, I'm having
an existential crisis.

I tend to not take them over the summer, and things only
change slightly, but for the most part, the
aforementioned symptoms remain.

I'm not sure if this is the best place to ask this
question, since it's learned behavior and whatnot, but if
someone would be so kind to answer my "What if" question,
it'd be greatly appreciated, because in all honesty, I'm
kind of freaking out over the fact that I could have
potentially been a completely different person than I am
today. Freaking out because my parents put me on this
medication and I was given no choice over whether or not
I were to take it. Freaking out because if my thoughts
are correct, I had absolutely no control over how I
developed.

So yeah. Done ranting. Answers appreciated.The psychological effects of Adderall as noted are really too general to
describe an individual's personality because the degree and frequency are
lacking. Really, this description could be used to fit many people
depending on the period of time considered. (Also, internalizing another's
subjective opinion is definitely not a good idea, ever.)

I'm sure that you already know that there is no scientific evidence that the
long-term use of stimulants impacts personality development. Stimulants
have been used for twenty years and the research has been extensive.

ADHD itself causes difficulty with relationships.

I have two ADHD children. One was unmedicated for 7 years, and has
been medicated for four. Adderall just happens to be the medication. I
can tell you with certainty that it has not impacted his personality.
However, it does take four days off the medication before he returns to
his own base-level of ADHD symptoms. At this point he is truly himself,
and quite recognizable to me. The Adderall does not force him to perceive
a certain reality. It gives him the ability to do things, but he must choose
to do them.

I am almost 100% certain that you would not have reached the level of
writing skill that you demonstrate here without medication during your
learning years. My in-laws are like a big piece of ADHD swiss cheese,
none of them medicated. I would say that the average writing skill is 6th
grade, and the average math skill is 5th grade. None of them attempted
college. This has limited their opportunities in life immensely, and dis-
empowered them in general. Jessica N40696.9363773148