Strattera | ADHD Information

My 6 year was officially and professionally diagnosed a few years ago.  I resisted medication at first and sought only therapy with a counselor.  The thought of putting toddler on medication was very scary to both my husband and me.  I still have panicky thoughts about long term effects.  More pressing are the side effects.  I am concerned about his bowel movements and control.  Has anyone experienced related side effects?

In addition, sometimes he does splendidly.  Other times his self-control gets knocked off course (usually related to unstructured sleep) and he just can't seem to find his way back.  Other medications that we have tried are unacceptable in their side effects.

I want to teach him how to be responsible for his actions and feel desparate to connect with him.  However, I feel like he is always in trouble and his younger brother is not and I don't want to damage his selfesteem or confidence.  Where is the balance?  How can I help him the most without assiting a lack of responsiblity for himself?  Please offer any advice for me to consider.  I don't know where to turn.  He doesn't have a psychiatrist.  Is this truly necessary?

Bella~
My son is 5 and taking Strattera.  He just started this about 6 1/2 weeks ago, after switching from Ritalin.  The only side effect I've noticed is his lack of appetite.  He still has extreme mood changes throughout the day, but not as bad as before medication.

I, too, want to teach my son the importance of taking responsibility for himself and his actions.  I started by having him do one task everyday for about a week.  The first one was feeding our fish, because he likes to do it.  The next was making sure his clothes were put into the laundry basket.  I have been adding things periodically, and it seems to be working.

My son blames me or anyone else for anything that he decides is going wrong.  For example, he will cry and get angry sometimes when he is playing a video game and he loses.  He'll say something like, "Mom, I wouldn't have died if you weren't talking on the phone!"  Well, how can my talking on the phone make him lose?  So I ask him, and he thinks about it for a second, sometimes two :) and he continues on his way. I tell him he just needs to keep practicing and I remind him of how he had to practice to pass level one, or whatever.  I think he is starting to actually realize that it's his movements, his choices, and his actions that cause certain events.  We still have a ways to go on this, but baby steps are better than no steps, right?

My daughter is really never in trouble, and my son is always saying, "That's not fair!"  I have to remind him that when he does what he is supposed to do, he doesn't get in trouble, he doesn't lose privileges, and he gets to do special things.  Actually, I phrase it so that it sounds positive.  "When you do what you are supposed to do, you get to do special things."  "When you do what I ask, you get to keep playing your game after you are done."  He seems to respond well to that type of encouragement, and it doesn't damage his self esteem, because we're focusing on the positive side, while correcting inappropriate behavior.

I went  through a parenting course, and they really focused on "positive reinforcement".  I hadn't thought about it before, but telling my son, "Stop doing that!" was really ambiguous.  He didn't know what he was supposed to stop doing, because he's always doing more than one thing at a time.  I learned that I have to be very specific in what I say.  Tell him what to do, instead of what not to do.  "Put the cracker on the table, or in your soup."  "Put that stick on the ground."  "Stay on the grass."  It was hard to change my habits, and it took some time to get used to being so specific, but the results have been wonderful! 

Also, part of that course covered the whole control issue.  Our children want to be in control of what they do, and I can't blame them.  But, they lack the capacity to do it.  By offering my son two choices, I was able to remain the parent in control and he was able to feel like he was the one making the decision.  Just simple things, like "do you want milk, or juice?"  "do you want to wear the yellow shirt or the red shirt?"  "do you want to go to the park, or play in the pool?"  He got to choose, he was happy because he had made the choice, and I was able to avoid a fight that could have lasted an hour.  I think it helps with the self esteem and responsibility too, because he feels important enough to make a decision, and he has a responsibility to choose what he wants.

There is at least on thing that your son does really well.  All children have a talent. Really encourage that talent so he knows there is something he does so well, that it makes you proud to be his mommy.  The radiant, glowing smile kids can give warms my heart!  And it makes kids feel SO good to hear from mom or dad that they are doing something really well, or that you really like what they've done.

As for the psychiatrist, I can't answer that.  My experience with all of this is pretty limited, as my son was just diagnosed in Sept.  He has had two appointments with a psychiatrist, and zero appointments with a therapist.  We have what is called a "case manager" that works in the local mental health clinic.  She works with the parents of children that are referred there by schools, hospitals, etc.  She speaks with the school, the doctors, the police (for older kids in trouble), and whoever else is involved with the child.  I have to ask her about the therapy part, because I don't see that K will ever learn to deal with whatever his issues are if there is only a 20 minute session with a psychiatrist every six weeks to discuss how the meds are affecting him.  If your son has a therapist, then I wouldn't think he needs a psychiatrist.  I'm not a professional, that's just my opinion.  He must be getting his prescriptions from his pediatrician, so I guess I would look for a therapist or counselor if you don't already have one.

I've been reading your post over and over, and I think positive reinforcement would really help you and your family.  I always thought I was a really positive parent, that I was doing a great job, and things were normal.  After I started really looking at how I communicated with my son, I realized that I was not the positive parent I thought I was.  (Not easy to admit!)  But now I can correct his behavior, remain positive, (even if he doesn't listen) and build in him confidence and trust that he can come to me for anything, because I have a history of helping him without making him feel bad.

I hope you are able to find that balance!  Good Luck!