violent behaviour

My 9 year old son has been diagnosed with adhd for 4 years. He is on Dexadrine and although his outbursts are fewer, they are extremely violet. He kicks, punches, spits at both my husband and myself, threatens. Any suggestions or ideas as to how to cope with the violent outbreaks without myself loosing my cool.

I love my son dearly but get very angry at him. I try not to yell, I try being firm, nothing seems to help. I would like to hear any ideas you may have on confronting these outbreaks with it errupting into complete violence on my part. I am not saying I would physically hurt my son, I just want to control this while I still can.

2 questions

Did he behave this way before the meds? If not then he needs a different med.

If so, I would look into BiPolar Disorder. Most ADHD children are not violent unless there is a med problem.

What does your Dr say?

My son is on Dexamphetamine - I have had him off them for 8 weeks due to our XMas holidays here in Australia - give him growing time!

He has been great! Happy and light!

Back on them today - and he is quick to cry and anger again.

My son is 4 and I know what you are going through. My son is violent towards myself, my husband, and our other 2 children. It's like you don't know how to handle them. We tried him on ritilan 10mg. and that made his violence worse. We are trying him on concerta 18mg. I am hoping it helps. I say a website that when they are violent like this it may be something besides adhd. It's like he is phsycotic, I'm scared he is going to hurt my one year old when he acts like that. I love my children more than anything in the world, that is why I'm trying to get him help. If anyone has any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated. My 5 year old son was very violent before he was diagnosed with ADHD. (I found out on Thursday that he also has ODD.) He would kick, bite, throw things, hit, scream, pull hair, whatever you can think of, he did it. He is a very big kid! He is as tall as my friend's 9 year old, and weighs 84 pounds, so picture that. When K would have one of his rages, I would have to go to him and get slapped and kicked and scratched and all, until I could get my arms wrapped around him and just hold him tightly until he settled down. Sometimes it was 2 minutes, sometimes it was 20. However long it was, in the end, he just ended up crying and I would hug him. I tried putting him in his room one time, but he broke toys, started kicking the wall, pulled every piece of clothing he owned out of the closet and dresser, and pulled all of his books off the bookshelf, so I didn't do that again.

At the time, I thought it was mean to hold him down, or wrap my whole body around him so he couldn't move, but it was the only thing that would settle him down without him wreaking havoc on the whole house. Maybe you could try that and see what happens.

Good Luck!
Sounds like the kids are BiPolar a friend of mine her son is huge and has really bad fits one time he took a 25 pound weight a threw it out the window it flew far as heck we were shocked cause he was so young at the time. They later found out that his meds are what caused him to actout that bad he was sent to the hospital and they worked on the meds. I also had this problem.But my daughter is 14 yrs old.I have had her into counsling since she was 6 yrs old,But my advice to you please do not ever get the court system involved in this because i did because i never knew or even got information on this ADD/ODD/Mood disorder.And now they have her in a youth home and going to put her in a foster home.I have tried so hard to tell them about her problem but when it comes to the courts its just being seen as a BAD kid.I am angry with this because now i have her wanting to end it because she knows she can not come home until she learns to control her anger is what they are telling me.I have had the kicking,spitting,pulling my 2 yrs olds hair and now shes in the courts,I really think mental health should have givin me more information then just saying your child has 99% of ADD,It did not tell me anything.Thats just advice from what i'm going through.Find all the help you can before you get the courts involved please.I wish i did!

JW is there no way to fight and get her home? I have been through the system when I was a kid I was one of them so called bad kids. My mom could not handle me either and did the same thing you did. I'm sure there has to be something you can do to get her home it doesn't have to be that way. Its a bad situation, I have tried to tell these people this.But they do not listen to me.She has been charged for hitting me and also for pulling her little sisters hair,They feel that with her doing this to the younger one its dangerous to her .So now they want to put her in a foster home to learn how to control her anger before they bring her back in the home.I really do not think this is the way to do it,But they just are not looking at her problem or even listening to me.I really think the system is wrong for doing this to her but...What can ya do???? I am lost in this.

How can they charge her, if you are not pressing charges?

I found that when I spend 1 on 1 time with my 9 year old, he is very good. I'm slowly realizing that all he wants is attention. Although it effects my day to day life, I have to realize what's best for him. I don't spend all my time with him but I set aside 1 hour a nite for just him and I time plus once a week, we go for dinner, just the 2 of us. Trust me, I was at my wits end and now it's alot better. Not perfect but managable

[QUOTE=jw1223]Its a bad situation, I have tried to tell these people this.But they do not listen to me.She has been charged for hitting me and also for pulling her little sisters hair,They feel that with her doing this to the younger one its dangerous to her .So now they want to put her in a foster home to learn how to control her anger before they bring her back in the home.I really do not think this is the way to do it,But they just are not looking at her problem or even listening to me.I really think the system is wrong for doing this to her but...What can ya do???? I am lost in this.[/QUOTE]

Foster care is not gonna take care of the problem. What is it that foster care can do for her that you can not do?? If you drop the charges then she should be able to come home right?? If you really want her home then your gonna have to do a lot of work to get her there. I'm sure there is something that can be done you might have to get a lawyer and see how they can help. That is only if you want the help. Trust me foster care is not the answer been there done that. My mom put me away when I was younger and it didn't help me one bit matter of fact it made me worse cause my mom put me there. Good luck to you and your family. Maria

[QUOTE=csmommy]How can they charge her, if you are not pressing charges?[/QUOTE] From what i understand she was on probation before and that why they charged her because its not the first time she has hit me. But i was not asking for them to put her away i was asking for help or information on what to do. And that there makes me mad because i begged with mental health to help and nobody would give me any information on what to do,I was lead wrong in the situation i think.But she had been on probation for this already.

[QUOTE=Oloveia]

[/QUOTE] I am not doing it. It is the probation officer doing this and right now they will not even let me talk in the court room this is out of my hands at the moment. I did not ask them to charge her the state had to of or the court i did not want this for her at all! But see its more then just this we are having meetings with phycologists and counslers to try to teach her that when she gets angry not to hit or throw things trying to help her talk it out. No i agree it may not help her problems i know this and believe me i have told these people but... When the court takes over its not that easy for the parent to just tell the court anything. I want her home of course but i know they are looking at my 2 small children in the home right now and she has taken her anger out on the 2 yrs old. I am also having two others to protect with her being angry and its hard but what can you do? I love her very much but when a parent does not get information on this problem then what can you do?[QUOTE=pchristens]

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Doesn't this make you think that the Attention part of ADD is really their need for your undivided, 24/7, no one else but them, total attention on them!

But managable is a step, hopefully it will continue to get better.

jw1223, is she a minor, & do you have custody, or is she a ward of the state?

It sounds like you need a really good lawyer. I didn't know that any state could take your child w/o you signing papers.

Has your doctor considered a comorbid condition such as Oppositional Defiance Disorder or even the above mentioned bi-polar condition? My son was becoming extremely violent and the doc explained that the adderal could even aggravate this. We move him to clonidine (not for him-increased agression) and then to risperdal (which has helped so much!

) . We will eventually try ADHD meds again but the violent behavior was unacceptable.

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