i feel so alone- anyone else? | ADHD Information

hi,

have any of you got problems with lonliness due to your adhd or add?

For sure, i know that i have. i not only always am paranoid that popele are lookin at me but also i always feel so insecure that my friends really don't like me especially when i have forgotten to take my ritalin.

Another topic i'd like to address you on is judgement.

have any of you ever been judged for having add or adhd?

i got ran over by a car this morning and my friends made an automatic judgement that i hadn't taken my ritalin and had ran out in front of the car whereas this was not the true case.

please reply,

love vicki xxxxx

Hi Vicki. I don’t know if I could be any help to you, but as my adhd has gotten worse, more and more friends judge me then leave. I am not hyperactive when on meds in fact ive been more quiet and secluding myself. I have literally no friends now. They took advantage of me and then left me out in the cold. I have always been insecure about myself and friends ect but lately I haven’t had friends to be insecure over.  I know im not helping with any problems you are having, but I feel very alone too. I am probably the only 15 year old who hasn’t voluntarily socialized with anyone in 14 months at least, which is partially my fault. For some reason, I really want friends, but then seclude myself due to the many failed attempts in keeping them and find that I don’t have the mental energy and strength to try and get more friends. I sometimes tell myself that I’ve given up. So yes, I feel extremely alone too.  If you ever want, email me at Inferno5@msn.com . You can talk to me on Msn messenger as well if you’d like.

x Stephie

vicki - have you ever read a book called Driven to distraction?

Something you have to tell yourself is that a lot of the best
things about you tend to stem from your ADHD.

we are warm, open, sensitive, trusting (sometimes to a fault),
creative, passionate, driven in our own way. though having
ADHD has definitely been an isolating experience, I also
realize that there are things about me that I am proud of and
that I would not have if i were not diagnosed with ADHD.

anyone who is truly meant to be a friend of yours will
appreciate these things about you and will take the bad with
the good (which is what friends do) and if they do not, well, do
you really want that type of a person as a friend?

i think you have just not been fortunate enough to meet the
right people. personally i have been blessed with a great many
friends who like my creativity, blunt way of speaking and
energy. in fact that is what they like most about me - my
uniqueness.

there are people out there who are like this and perhaps you
have yet to meet them. but cheer up. they are out there

besides

to be great is to be misunderstood

hi, thanks for all your help.  i feel much more not alone because i know that all of you am here for me, so thanks.

I still feel lonely in college and stuff. There's only 1 other person in my college with ADHD but i get so scared of judgement and being told to 'get lost' or 'you're a freak' so i won't talk to her even though I really do want to. Any advice on this?

Thanks again for your help.

Please reply,

Love vicki xxxx

vicki,

before you start being afraid of judgment consider one thing -
does the opinion of someone who does not know you at all
mean anything?

all of us with ADHD know what it is like for people to make
assumptions about us (usually towards the negative) but that is
their shortcoming, not ours.

the other suggestion i have is depending on what town you live
in, find an adhd support group. i went to my first meeting last
thursday and i had so much fun! we ranged in age from mid
twenties to mid fifties and we all had great conversations. and
when i left i was so grateful that i had gone. we were the
strangest looking bunch of people but we all talked as if we had
been friends for years. you can search through google and if
you go let me know how you liked it :Dvicki don't just it all in because that only makes you feel more alone.laughter is great but sometimes it really does help to cry a little.I will only cry if i am alone and know one is around.I know it can get very lonley but don't give up and rember that as you grow up and get out of school you look at your class mates a lot diffrent.

rock angel - ADHD and sensitivity go hand in hand often.

But one thing we have to learn is how to be tough.  I am learning this now.  I am learning to care less about others opinions and just focus on my own responsibilities to the best I can and be proud of my own achievements without measuring them against others.

And I am sorry to hear about you getting run over!  That is horrible.

 

thank you rae 70,

i'm ok. i was lucky in the accident. i'm not too badly seriously hurt. It wasn't my fault though, the person went through a red light speeding round the corner, hit me, reversed and drove off agein. But never mind.

Please could you advise me on how i can become more tougher because i am so very over sensitive all the time, its horrible because i hate crying and so i wont cry, but i always feel i need to, but i refuse too. Is anybody else like this?

please reply,

love vicki xxxx

Vicki - we cant change who we are - but there is a balance that we should all strive to find.

This worked for me.  I look at old people !

Some are hard, cynical, angry, emotionally still immature and self centred

Some have eyes huge with wisdom and hearts just as big.

Now how did the two different types evolve like this.

They made choices along the way.

I cant help much more that that I am afraid - as I am still on my own journey.

But recently (without sounding like a bible basher) I read Ecclesiastics in the bible and that book gives heaps of good advice about making friends, judging good and bad and how to treat your enemies etc.  I found it great.

Something will come to you, for me it has been making the choice to let go of my need for approval  - I learnt to like who I was without needing others to like me.  I still like people that hate me - and feel no sadness any more about them not liking me - it is very weird - just cant explain it.

Like I said it is a journey.

 

Oh Yeah! nearly forgot - learning to laugh at yourself and others is great!  Gets me through most things

Rae7038374.316875