discipline | ADHD Information

Netty - I also have a 11 year old son with ADHD.    When he misbehaves we take away playstation , computer and TV for 1 week.   This seems to help him.   He needs to know the consequences of his actions.   Also , recently  we changed the school point of contact to my husband versus myself.  He's been behaving better at school because he knows that they'll call Dad not Mom and Dad is not so forgiving.    My son has a hardtime with stress and ends up crying a lot at school.   I worry about him all the time because the other kids might pick on him because he's so senstive.   Hang in there.

LeeLee

we just started today, the coin thing...for both our boys 8 & 6 the 6 yo has adhd..we started out this mornign w/ 20 pennies in a jar and everytime they misbehave they lose a number of pennies...and for each thing they do play a non learning game, playstation, ext cost them a penny for adn hour..my adhd always tattles this morning he lost 5 pennies for tattling and then he cryed so i took another penny away...because he does this to get his way..my 8 year lost 6 pennies fo attidue issues.. that last hours has starte out a lot quiter than the day started so i am thinking they are getting it.

What types of discipline are you implementing with your kids. I have an 11 year old son and he has adhd and he got in trouble today he took one of those utility knives to school, they caught him and they suspended him for 5 days i was not sure what i should do. i was thinking about grounding him and no games and tv for only an hour a day. what does everyone think any suggestions would    be helpful

Thanks  

What do you do when child doesn't care any more?Taking away things,spankings,etc.My son is 8.Everythings seems a game to him.Comprehension level lower than his age.

 

Dsenurse:

Since I thought my son may have attention problems, I took a step back and thought about how my son might feel about constantly being yelled at.  When I yell I noticed that he reacts like Mr. Furley (3's Company), when he can't concentrate he really jumps when I yell.  When he's in one of his hyper moods he yelling doesn't even phase him.  I tried to stop yelling so much because I love him and I wouldn't want anyone yelling at me so much.  I also thought about how I treat other children and other people in general, I don't yell at them and if I love my son, he should deserve the same treatment.  My son not a behavior problem at school and when I quit yelling at home we have a much better relationship.  I started to focus on constant praise and lots of attention to his good behavior and there was a significant change in hime before he ever went on meds.  When he does get into trouble I make sure to tell him that he's still the best boy in the world and when he doesn't behave, I have to take away the PS2 or the tv or he cannot have friends over.  Find out what your child loves and show interest in it, then take it away when he doesn't behave. 

Smack his Arse!!! LMAO just kidding. Just quoting someone I know LOL

I dont have any teenage boys YET.  But I know that there are programmes such as Tough Love out there that help parents deal with these types of issues and retaining control.

 

I have a 6 year son, who has just been dx with ADHA, hyperactive,  Since he was around 4 or so, when he gets mad, he kick, hits, throw and screams. We use time out, spanking, taking things away, We have become at the Hollering Family,

that is all we do.  As he has gotton older, some of this has calm down, now he is

always, moving, he will climb on top of our car or truck, he like to jump on the top of it,  when he get mad, he now kicks other object and throw down, whatever

he has in his hands. He is always breaking things. And again, we have tryed time out, spanking, taking things away from him. NOTHING SEEMS to REALLY HElp, my husband and I are alway frustrated. We he wants something if we don't give

it to him, he will crying and whine, keep on asking till we do it, or just get so mad

that he gets a big spanking, and this doesn't work either.  He does okay in school

he doesn't get mad like this at school, just can't keep still, talks alot and can't keep his hands to himself. the teacher don't have the problems we have at home

He has been on Aderall Xr 15mg for 4 days now, will see..

I just need some advice on discpline,   what to do for home.

thanks

 

RSHN - well my 7 year old told me today - he likes detention because he gets to sit in the air conditioning in the peace and quiet and read books - hmmmm

I dont know - appeal to their sense of justice is all I have left. 

I really didn't think about behavior problems.   I do know that since I started to pay more attention to the good things he does he changed also. I try to make a point to encourage him and praise him, no matter how mad he makes me sometimes.  I make more time for myself.  This is the hardest thing to do because I work full time and I'm too tired.  I structured his home life and he is in bed by 9:30.  This gives me about an hour at night to myself and I try to get up early enough to spend some time alone in the morning.  This helps only if I'm not exhausted. 

When your child has dentention, make another consequence at home.  I hardly ever spank my children.  So when I do spank them they know they did something wrong. 

Also, since I realized that my son had problems that he didn't have control of I knew I had to change.  I do not have Adhd and I think about that commercial where the channel keeps changing.  I wouldn't want to go through that myself and I had more sympathy for his condition (I don't tell him that).  If his level of comprehension is lower, lower yours.  I really like this site.  All of your messages also help me.  Thanks everyone. 

well......I gotta say which nobody has asked.......WHY in the world did he take a knife to school? Did you ask him? Was he trying to DEFEND himself from someone? This to me is sooooooooooooo scarey! I would 'not' let him do ANYTHING for as long as he was suspended except schoolwork that you'll be picking up for him to do and READ. Maybe even with his age I think you should check out some books that maybe he would enjoy; but also learn from. I don't know what kind except maybe those that involve dealing with anger? To take a knife to school was no accident.....gotta be a reason and the only one who knows that is your son. Just ask him. Was he showing the knife to other kids? Was he showing it to a teacher? Was he threatening anyone? God I can only imagine your frustration because my son's only 6; but I can see that he would try something like this only if he felt threatened by someone or something. We really do talk about everything.....he recently told me he didn't like blacks because they are mean to him.....that's after he got a referral for biting a black child. You ask them why? His reply, "they are mean to me and try to hit and kick me". Well he was showing how he 'fights back' I guess.

I thank you all for your advice. yes i was very upset about the whole thing. he said that he found it. No he is not afraid at school and no he was not threating any one with it It was a utility device so it was not like it was an actual knife but still. i did ground him from all eletronic games. ps2,cell phone game boy ect.. he has done nothing but home work and clean up.. and he went back to school today and he had to be searched by me..

Thank you all for your advice     

Education isn't a priority for him at all. He wants to just play.His dad quit school. How will dad tell him when he didn't he has to. When they are 18 they can quit with no notice from schools. Stinks if you ask me. The law in Texas is  suppose to be not in school no drivers license kept. Not enforced anymore I guess.rshn

I've learned the hard way there are a couple of problems with ADHD teens or pre-teens. What we did when the kids were in elementary school no longer works once they hit puberty.  The research in ADHD also mostly has looked at young children. Few studies exist, it seems, with teens.

The "Tough Love" or "Love and Logic" approaches don't work long-term, either, according to my son's doctor, who is a specialist. I've found this to be the case, too.

I agree with Banjo's Mom that positive reinforcement seems to work best. These kids crave adult acceptance. You start praising them and finding things they do well, and they will take off and keep doing well. On the other hand, if you start negative steps, they will fight and resist (at least mine does).

The school is compounding the problem. ADHD kids get suspended and sent to detention a lot more than other kids. Most of the time, this has the opposite effect than what is desired. Sometimes the kids want to get out of class or school, if they're unhappy. My child's doctor said schools usually make two mistakes: they punish children for their ADHD (trying to punish them, for example, for impulsive behavior) and then they do things like suspending them, which rewards the behavior.

My advice would be to ask your child for a consequence they would really hate. Kids are a lot better at coming up with consequences than we are, sometimes.

Or get creative. Jim Carrey, who parlayed his ADHD into fame and fortune, remembered a teacher who made him a deal. Behave in class and I'll let you get up the last 15 minutes of class and make fun of all the teachers and entertain the rest of the class.

This said, I too, am looking for a workable behavior modification model for ADHD teens that I can implement both at home and suggest to the school - that doesn't include suspensions as an option.

Any help would be appreciated.