Getting irritated with people at work | ADHD Information

When I worked I mostly ended up with personal problems with coworkers.  I would say all of my jobs ended up with personal problems with someone...I would then quit that job and look for a new job...In almost all cases it was because I vocalized my disapproval for a coworkers performance or something related to the job...I used to be really vocal...too much so.  I now take Adderall and Lexapro....I feel like I have better control on my impulsivity and anger, but I am still scared to work with someone because I fear the job environment turning into a blow up and quit episode like the past.  I think after I spend a lot of time with people I micro analyze them and they annoy the heck out of me.  Is this just me or part of the ADHD?  Also I have since I was little felt like I was not "in sync" socially with the rest of the world.  The Adderall has made me actually have a conversation at social occasions.

Hi Creative, Crazy,

Hey, maybe you just have really annoying co-workers.

Based on my own experience, I'd guess that the problem is about half and half. A study I saw once said that 97% of people who were fired (not laid off, but actually fired) had it happen because they could not get along with their co-workers. That means only 3% were "incompetent" in some way outside of human relations. If the number of people who can't get along with their co-workers is that high, it's hard to blame it all on ADD/ADHD.

I have a hard time getting along with people too, although as opposed to your situation, I find it more difficult initially than over the long term. When I first meet people, I come across as abrupt, even rude. Most people, however, if they take the time to get to know me and understand that it's just the way I am, end up liking me.

As for the "micro-analyzing," I think that most people do that, but the part that's really ADD/ADHD is the lack of patience to just let it go. Most people learn to filter out annoying little habits, but the ADD/ADHD lets us be constantly distracted by them until we end up hyperfocused on the annoying behavior rather than the whole picture of what is basically a nice person. I know I find myself doing that a lot.

I wish I had a solution for you. In social situations, I've learned to always go with my wife and let her take the lead until I get to know the people. I find this very stressful, so I try and keep the number of social situations to a minimum. My wife understands this and she has a much more active social life than I do, having cultivated numerous friendships where I don't need to be involved. Together, we keep it to a few very close friends rather than having a large social circle.

If anyone else has any tips for coping with social situations, I'd love to hear it. I find it particularly difficult when it comes to "networking," an activity that's essential in business. This type of social contact is usually too fleeting for me to have a chance to make a good impression and is very frustrating.

Just wanted yall to know I don't do this anymore since I am on medication....it just is hard for me to go forward because I don't want a new job and end up with this happening again since I have been doing so well.  I dont hyperfocus on annoying things anymore, but I am afraid if I worked again that I would develop this personality again....but prob wouldn't because the meds work right?[QUOTE]When I worked I mostly ended up with personal problems with coworkers. I would say all of my jobs ended up with personal problems with someone...I would then quit that job and look for a new job...In almost all cases it was because I vocalized my disapproval for a coworkers performance or something related to the job...I used to be really vocal...too much so. I now take Adderall and Lexapro....I feel like I have better control on my impulsivity and anger, but I am still scared to work with someone because I fear the job environment turning into a blow up and quit episode like the past occasions.[/QUOTE]

Creative - You sound exactly like me and what I've gone through...many, many times/jobs. I'm also afraid to return to work. Although I'm not on meds specifically for ADHD, but mood disorder meds, perhaps I may do better knowing why I behaved the way I always did, but still afraid to find out. Even tho I'm only 55, it's getting kind of late to start job jumping --I need stability. It always seemed like I was the only one who really earned my paycheck, and it annoyed the heck out of me to listen to my co-workers blabbing all day, which was distracting and annoying to me, and of course added to me thinking they didn't do their work as well as possible. I would also vocally expressed my anger. I have learned to not let noises outside my home (motor home) annoy me as much as they used to (in the RV Park I live). And I'm able to control my impulsivity somewhat now. Don't want to entirely, would loose some what I like about myself.
(If this color is difficult to read, please tell me, thanks!)

WiteNite -- I find that if initially I had difficulties with my coworkers, then it only went downhill from there. They couldn't seem to see past their initial "judgment" of me. GypsyWomyn38381.6923032407

I'm not sure the meds would prevent this from happening entirely. However, I think that they will help a lot, and if you couple that with your new knowledge of what's causing you to do this, you can probably develop coping mechanisms to overcome it.

Since you know about it, and you know what triggers it, you can watch for it. One would assume it will happen less frequently, and it will take longer for it to affect you (you probably have more patience for annoyances on the medication than you did before) you have time to get away from the person, ask them politely to stop, or other options before you actually blow up at them.

I think it's important to mention that the meds aren't a "cure" for ADD/ADHD. They just give you another tool (a very powerful, effective tool, yes, but still just a tool) to help you deal with it. In fact, you mention that you don't hyperfocus on annoying things anymore, and I'm willing to bet that it's not because the meds "cured" you of that, but that it's because you're aware that it was the ADD causing it to happen, and that now with the meds you can perceive it happening and you can take steps to avoid it.

You can't go through the rest of your life avoiding people (well, maybe you can, but you seem too friendly to be happy with that choice!) or avoiding all situations that you have found difficult in the past. I'm the first person to encourage someone to go with their strengths rather than spend their life unhappily trying to overcome their weaknesses, but this doesn't sound like the case here. I bet if you went and got a job, you'd do just fine.  Good luck.