Motor Mouth Me | ADHD Information
Introduce them to me quick quik1 - I need an audience LOL
Thanks for that, I hope I find some like minded people soon. It is hard being a walking encyclopedia of useless information if I have no one to tell it too.
I do the same thing. I don't give people a word in edgewise. I have a really bad habit of cutting people off right before they start to say something. Just another of those ADD characteristics. I do this because I'm a poor listener. I can integrate my own thoughts and information better than I can integrate the information coming from them. This seems to be the Adult version of impulsiveness or not being able to take turns. It's a lack of control.I can relate! I started a new job not to long ago, I would say within about a week(or less) everyone knew my life story. I feel like I'm the only one who puts everything out there. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself.
1.) There are a few tricks you can do. One is after you say something you are not allowed to speak again until 2 other people have spoken (i.e. you don't tell anyone it's just your little game.)
2.) Leave a nice chunk of silence where you are expected to talk and watch people squirm, it's rewarding in it's own way but it teaches you a lesson about the normal cadence of conversation.
3.) Think of conversation as a golf game. Conversation is strokes, so to win you have to keep your stroke order down.
Just a few days of this will help you.
And PS: this problem got so bad in my life that I shut myself away with a computer and I still haven't come out. You should try to deal with it. I got to a point where I hated myself (pre-med days) and one by one I shut all my friends out of my life. (God just talking about this makes me grieve,
shinsetu_hito38384.2275925926I hate socialising - because I just annoy people with my information overload - pouring out of my mouth.
I hog the conversation, have something to say on every subject and really am just down right pushy in a conversation. No wonder I dont have many friends 
My general knowledge memory banks are so full that when i have an opportunity to unload - there is no stopping me.
Today one of the members of the conversation say - Rachael your mind is really racing isnt it - (wasnt that diplomatic 
), but i felt hurt by my own compulsion to talk.
I came home and locked the doors and shut the world out again, and felt so much better swimming around in my own mind.
Hey Rae70.
I love people like you. I prob could actually compete with you at times. I honestly LOVE to be around people who are like walking resources of information on all different types of information. So, for some who are not bright enough to keep up, or competitive enough to get a word in when they need or want to, PHOOEY on them. There are people who appreciate people like you BIG TIME!
uummm, because I don't like it when I am rude. I am not a rude person. I care about other peoples feelings. I don;t want to be a bore, other people have things to contribute. I have noticed I am better with this on meds than I used to be. I still get the urge to chime in after every other sylable anyone says but don't do nearly as often. I can stop and tell myself to LISTEN not just hear.
Another thing I do is if I am in a meeting and I know time is limited for me too make my point in a debate on an issue...I talk at twice the speed of sound. 
I have a good friend who kills me for it in fun. I am a little sensitive about it so I asked if it came out nutty but, he says it's fine I make sense, am coherent, and always command the facts and there is never any doubt about where I stand our how passinate I am. I just talk faster than anyone he has ever known when I get in that mindset ..........I guess that's why when I know I have 3 minutes to make a point I am out of breath when I am done.
I know I need to try what a counselor I used to see told me: Not to tell too much about myself when I first meet someone, or begin a new job. That I should let things about myself come slowly to those I meet...I suppose this leaves an interest from them to get to know more about me. Don't want to exhaust it all a one time. Makes sense, although "easier said than done," right? Looks great in type, doesn't it? Now to APPLY.
shinsetu_hito, thank you, those are good tips. We probably all know what we need to do, but need all the help we can get to do what we need to do.
Rae! Come out, come out, wherever you are! We like it when you're not locked away. And we're glad you came out to talk with us!
GypsyWomyn38384.3005671296
Thank god! I thought it was just me!
Yeah, I too can get very wound up and as my brother (accidentally) said one day come off as a "smart-azz know-it-all". The problem is, I DO know a lot about a lot. Granted, I can't do brain surgery, but just about everything I have ever read or heard stays in my head. Toss in that I am very much a nurturer-healer and want to be helpful, and I become a real pain ;)
So I have had to make a very, VERY conscious effort to keep my mouth shut. Just giving one tiny bit of info and then being quiet. What I have learned is that being a bit mysterious is a good thing.
When I can't stand being quiet anymore, I just go on the net and visit my various favorite forums. :)
Hugs sweetie!
Esther
I think this is a bit strange. Are you all asking yourselves the right question?
I need to ask: why do you care so much about how other ppl see the way you interact with them? If they don't like it tough luck! With ADD you are expected to fit in a certian way within society... but society isnt really making enough efforts to fit in with people with ADD. You can't really expect to get on with everyone and there are always people (usually optimistic funloving ppl) around who won't care if you get a bit loud at times.
Ask yourself about the individuals you are trying to impress through conformity to a placcid existence. are they really worth it??
Oh i think people with ADD perform well in a pro active sales environment.
Pete. Business Student from Manchester UK
People who don't appreciate you for you are the ones being rude. Why should you respect them and cooperate with them if they refuse to accept you for you and cooperate with you. If you do choose to change your behaviour to fit in you must realise you are on the moral high ground as you are choosing not to resort to their level.. but if you choose not to change (but still conform to societies laws and values) then you have the possibility to reeducate the masses and convert them from the social conditioning that loud is bad through all the benefits that ADD brings to everyone of our lives.
I always feel bad when I cut people off & sum up what they are trying to say, but all that talking just to get to the point . Sometimes I walk away kicking myself about not being able to keep my big mouth shut, or having more patience & tact.
I have found that some people admire me for my bluntness, but for the most part, I think people think I am arrogent, when I am really not. I just want ot make friends & often go about it the wrong way. I keep trying though, I figure 1 day I'll get it right.
Hotteststud (ick, saying that makes me feel all gay and stuff)
We know what you are saying but for some of us the problem goes a lot deeper. It's harder to love and accept some people then others. I want to be the ray of sunshine that lights up the room, not the blackhole who sucks all the joy out of it.
For me, it's impossible to accept myself because a lot of times I'm wrong, I'm manipulating the conversation, belittling other people, discounting other peoples views and so on. Talking is the very basics of life. If you are having a conversation with 4 people but you are controlling everything said, if people are afraid to say what they want because they know you are going to slam them you need to change, not them.
shinsetu_hito38384.5475WOW. I have the same problem. Before I was diagnosed I was the "plethera of useless knowledge." I just grew accustomed to not talking that much for fear of embaressing myself (because I would say things without thinking). When I was diagnosed and started meds, I was a non-stop mouth, I just needed to talk to someone. Thank God I told all of my close friends about my ADHD so they understood and didn't mind me talking. Whenever I take my meds it gives me the need to socialize and talk (also some anxiety). I do the same thing, but I never seem to offend or bother anyone, my friends all get a kick out of it <especially when I start going off in rush hour> but I usually have to be pretty comfterble with people before I open my mouth at all, so I dont know how strangers would react
. My biggest problem is telling a proper anecdote or joke, I always get caught up in some detail or tangent and completely forget what the main point is...once dictating a shopping list became a revisitation of my loss of innocence <its true!>[QUOTE=NowhereOnNitros] ...once dictating a shopping list became a revisitation of my loss of innocence <its true!>[/QUOTE]
LMAO - which item got you started? Was it the cereal?
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Hey it is not about trying to impress people it is about feeling a little more incontrol of my own actions.
When I am on this verbal rambling adventure, I feel like I am winding myself up into a frenzy, the more I talk - the more I talk and then the more I talk - it is weird.
Then I come home so completely exhausted I fall into a mini downer.
Like a mania to a depressive, a mini bi-polar adventure kind of.
So I feel if I can get into that stage of getting some control I wont put myself through it. I also feel guilty for draining the other peoples energies.
Bit of an Energy Vampire!!!! - eeekkkkkk
And Shin there is some good tips there - thanks!
Rae
I hadn't really connected all this before reading this thread but... (here comes a tangent I can tell!) It's just that this reminds me of a number of things my parents used to tell me constantly that I now have to consiously (sp?) keep in mind whenever I'm talking to someone.
I can't remember the amount of times I was told to use a quieter voice. Especially if I got excited. The last year I've been living on the east coast while the rest of my family is in the midwest. When I've gone home on vacation the first night home is always me talking really fast and loud and my parents telling me to slow down and please stop yelling. It just occured to me that I really only do that with family/close friends. Huh, that's interesting.
I also remember being told that I monopolize the conversation. Just talking about me, not involving the other person. I'm just realizing that as an adult, if I'm talking to someone I have a sort of rule that I follow. If a person asks me a question, I'm allowed to answer, but then I have to ask them a question.
Wow, sudden insight. How about that? 
I think there are two kinds of 'motor mouth' situations--
One where you are hanging out with friends and you are all just talking 90 miles a minute. That is OK and fun.
The problem over-talking most often happens in inappropriate situations: a business meeting, meeting someone new at a party, making conversation in a situation where you don't know people that well.
I look at it like bathing, washing your hair, wearing clothes, brushing your teeth, not picking your nose, using toilet paper etc. You have the right not to do any of these things. HOWEVER, everyone else has the right to not want to be around you if you choose not to do these things. So sometimes, it's a trade-off "Gee, I like being around people, but they seem to walk away real fast if I don't use deoderant for weeks at a time. Guess I need to use deoderant!"
Same with over talking. While I see it as one of my funny 'quirks' that makes me, well me, I also see that it can be a behavior that is rude and unkind in some ways and at some times to other people. It's part of being human I guess, seeing where your world ends and other's begins ;)
Essie Lou
O.M.G! I just got off the phone. The first was my Mom, she called me basically to tell me "how I should live my life and me and my hubby should act our ages" HUH? OK I had an answere for everything she said, and to me all of it made sense. I talk veeerrrryyy fast when mad or excited and don't know when to stop!!! I KNOW I said some things that I shoulden't have, but I just couldn't stop! Alot of stuff she said was uncalled for and hurtfull. It ended with "the friends you have, use you for their amusement"
5 minuntes later, the phone rang again. Didn't want to answere it, so I let the machine pick it up. Much to my relief, it was a friend who wanted me to help her pick out a pet parrot. Some of y'all may know I 'm the lady who has the 23yr.old Amazon Parrot, Tequila. Like everyone else here, I do tend to ramble on even if I'm not sure of what I'm saying, but when it comes to parrots, I AM A WALKING ENCYLOPDIA!(or however it's spelled)! Of course she did have to tell me to slow down, but she's use to that
. SHE appoligized to ME for all her questions and told me I'm probably the only friend she has that would gladly offer all that info, without getting irritated! After all my advise, she asked me if I would be willing to help her find her "special, hopefully talkative, feathered friend".
She dosn't know I'm ADD, but sometimes when we are together, she tells me different things that she says to other pple, and out of the blue said " I wonder if I'm that ADD or something! We both usually offer out to much personal info, so many know our life story, who really shouldn't. I'm sure I have said hurtful things without even knowing it, but I'm trying harder to "read pple".
In our defence, I have known pple who are just to sensitive, and try to find stuff wrong with what anyone says. NOW THATS THEIR PROBLEM!
I must admit this defect of mine does not upset me anywhere near as much as it used to as a younger person.
Perhaps with age, we come to like ourselves more!!!
Getting Old is great!
true... churchill was a asshole in some peoples eyes... most noticeably hitler.. but he had a loving family. and managed to change the world. [QUOTE=shinsetu_hito][QUOTE=Rae70]Getting Old is great!
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Back away from the meds slowly, Rachael.
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LMAO 
ROFL!!!!!!
Getting Old is great!
[/QUOTE]
Back away from the meds slowly, Rachael.
it feels so nice to not be the only one..I'm sorry I couldn't read all of the responses, but well.... you know how that goes.However, I'll say this.
Talk.
Eventually someone will listen.
Going OT here, but I couldn't resist
Latina-ADD, I'm a bird person too! And will talk about it nonstop with anyone who'll let me I'm the proud birdie mom to a 3yo cockatiel and an 18yo cockatoo.
Nice to meet another bird person here!
Hi!
Another bird person reporting in!
Proud mom of a white eye conure, pied cockateil and a whole bunch of budgies.
So nice to see other bird moms here.
Esther
here is an idea..
if the greatest minds of the modern world such as Elliot Einstein and Churchill all supposedly had ADD. aren't we all then been given a gift that can be used to benefit the future of the world. Everyone who I have ever came across who has ADD is incredibly competent in whichever area of specialisation that they enjoy. If that is the case It does not mata if you don't get along wiv everyone because you are contributing in a way that no one else can possibly do so. And to me that is worth so much more.
To me ADD represents a journey on a ship. Other ships may come and go... but the one constant is your own ship. You were born alone and you will die alone. Sad but inevitable. So it really does not matter what choices you make. You end up with the same result. My Journey is a Voyage of Discovery.
Also you should never feel sad about the way you have ever acted in your life. If you ever acted in a irresponsible way in the past it is because of your viewpoints and the way you felt you should behave at the time. If you believe that something was a immoral thing to do, know so, change your views but don't beat yourself up over it. Which is what i notice alot here.Besides being a great leader for a few years wasn't Chruchill a real as$hole?
:-) :-)
Probably, but aren't we all. I know I have been an asshole occasionally even with my motto "I'm nice until they give me a good reason not to be". Regardless if he was an asshole or not, he did great things. Coldsun38385.3730092593