It's just 'not normal' to dread picking up your son at school. I never know what kind of day he's had. His behavior is unacceptable says his teacher; the constant talking, arguing, and saying it's not fair has got to stop. Most of time he gets into trouble for talking, or not doing his work, not focusing, not listening, not comprehending what he's read enough to put it on paper; but yet he is one of the top 5 in his class. At home he acts like a little devil at times and then he's an angel. He used to be and sometimes still is a very loving child and is truly sorry that he misbehaves. His time outs sometimes last for more than they should because his time out doesn't start until he closes his mouth. He's 6 so his timeout is 6min. It is never really 6 min. it takes him sometimes 10 min. to calm down. I hope I'm not doing the wrong thing by making him calm down BEFORE his timeout starts. He knows when he does something wrong but will do it anyway. He is being evaluated in school now for his behavior and I know that they are going to lean towards add. Then that's another story. I've tried to not 'nit pick' on the little things that he does to get on my nerves *just because he knows it does*. We've always taken the approach to sit and talk out a problem rather than yelling and screaming; we don't believe in spanking unless that's a very, very last resort. He's only 6 and he's a boy. A very active boy but that doesn't bother me...what does is when you sit and talk with him he's looking at you and hearing you but you can see that his wheels are turning because he's too busy thinking about what he's going to say. Not what's being said. Example: His father laughed yesterday and told him to "Ask me why I am laughing,"... our son's reply, "because...." No son. Again his father repeated..."Ask me why I'm laughing". Response...from our son; "Because ..." No son. And my husband had to look at me and ask, "Ask me why I'm laughing"... I responded with of course, "Why are you laughing?" then and only then did our son get it. He missed the first word of the sentence which was ASK!! not WHY~!! Can anyone help or explain a tid bit of what in the world is going on with our son?
Your story sounds familiar to me, when my daughter was in daycare I hated picking her up. Every day I would hear " she had a bad listening day" that went on everyday. I had her evaluated once before and they marked her at risk for the signs of Add but did nothing told us she would grow out of it because she had a high IQ. The daycare began to treat her like it was behavior and bad parenting. I put a reward system in place but never got any feedback only "bad day". I think my child did not like her teacher ( where i am going with this) and they did not understand and treated her like a problem kid and had an attitude problem. One day i picked her up the Director told me "I feel sorry for you" that was her last day and I reported this. My child was different after leaving and is in Kindergarden now and was re-evaluated and labled ADHD. Her teacher now is awsome and said with re-direction she does well and we are working together. My child is not perfect but I love her and will do anything for her. Your child may also feel hopless like mine no matter what she did she still got labled trouble so i feel she gave up and did not care. Good luck Our son was kicked out of one daycare at four and many warnings at
another. I had to quit going to the gym because he acted out way too
much. We did parenting classes and finally began the
counseling/evaluation process (very long, frustrating). Eventually
found ourselves with a decent, responsive doctor and a ever changing
treatment plan. His diagnosis= ADHD & ODD. Very aggressive. We did
the timeouts, 1-2-3 magic and read the "Explosive Child" (great book
http://www.explosivechild.com/). We have gone from no meds->
Adderall w/ wellbutrin ->clonidine (bad for us) and now risperdal
(for aggression).. We love our son more than anything and we know
he is truly a good natured child but there are times we are exhausted,
exasperated, frustrated, and at our wits end. I have resorted to giving
myself 'timeouts' so I wouldn't lose it. We finally got him
'verified' at school for special services. This gives us a plan in
writing and him the assistance he needs to better ensure success at
school. These are also available in preschool as well
(http://www.wrightslaw.com/). |
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