ADHD and Inner monologue | ADHD Information

http://www.iloveulove.com/spirituality/parfittinnerdialogue. htm

an interesting link to inner dialogue.

has anyone found meds to help quiet these voices?  i've noticed the diff from when i take the concerta to when i do not take it and it is quite profound!!!

 

I know what you mean about these inner monologues (and dialogues), I do it all the time too.

I've tried telling myself to shut up - but I just won't listen...

yes I've told myself to shup up too.  It's sometimes really embarrassing - as when I realise I'm mouthing my part in my interior dialogue. And people give me strange looks.

It is better than real life tho' isn't it? People understand what I mean, and listen. And I speak coherently, without jumping from one thing to another. 

I have an inner monologue going on a lot of the time, too...only it far too often becomes a spoken monologue.  I tend to talk out loud to myself quite a bit. My family's used to it but it gets a little embarassing in public by myself when I realize my "internal" thoughts are being said for everyone to hear.   I am getting better at realizing when I am doing it, but it still happens occasionally.

 

Pyxelle

me too!!! It's just that when I try to speak to other people sometimes the thoughts don't come out the right way.I'm glad that I am not the only one with a very active inner dialogue.  I have always had conversations inside of my head (not in a psychotic way), yet I have always had problems verbalizing my thoughts and emotions to others.  As a result I have been constantly frusturated with myself because of my poor communication skills which  make me appear to be less intelligent than I actually am.  If people could read my mind they would see a very intelligent person!  Anyone else start laughing at something you said to yourself in your head? I've gotten a number of very odd looks for suddenly starting to giggle when absolutely nothing funny is going on.I was just diagnosed with ADHD, as i posted earlier, after problems with being depressed. It turns I'm really not depressed just frusturated with life, even though I've been doing pretty well concerning that I've kept my ADHD under control on my own. I was always a hyper but spacey kid and that grew into insecurity and lonliness in my high school years, even though I have had a good set of friends. Now, three years into college i feel things are out my control, especially my inner monologue. I have realized that i pretend I'm talking to people in my head (though this is not psychotic), sometimes looking for comfort, answers, or reasons i'm sure i'm unaware of. I may have been doing this for a while but I am just starting to notice it after starting therapy. The major issue with this, because i know most people here do have different inner monologues, is that sometimes i value my conversations in my head rather than reaching out to other people. This is obviously a huge issue with friends/family, though I'm sure the people on the other end can't recognize it. Where it has really paralyzed me as a person is that i feel have actually been accomplishing things through these tactics when really its the same thing over and over. I have been researching personality disorders and feel that maybe through my struggles of untreated ADHD i have developed some poor comfort methods.

Thanks
OMG!!! You are NOT alone.

I have conversations in my head too. I talk to myself, I go over previous conversations with other people, and I rehearse future or potential conversations. Mostly I think I just keep myself company. people think I am very quiet, but maybe that's because all the conversations I could ever need are right here in my head with me.

I had a horrible childhood. I had an alcoholic father and a severely clinically depressed mother. I was teased relentlessly by other kids, and I had very few friends (no TRUE friends til I was 17). I was very depressed through high school and contemplated suicide many times.

I always had a very active imagination. I would (and still do) imagine scenarios in which my life was much better. These scenarios were very vivid, complete with picture, sound, and everything. It was like acting out a movie in my head. The typical daydreamer I guess. Even though i've come to grips with my childhood experiences, have far more confidence, and am generally comfortable with my life, I still experience the "inner monlogue", as you put it.

I guess it is a chicken vs. egg debate - if I hadn't had ADHD, would I have coped better with the childhood trauma? Or did I actually turn out okay in the end because I had such a unique coping method? LOL - I might need some therapy myslef on working that one out.

I am my own best friend.

Like I said in an earlier post, what goes on inside my head is WAY more entertaining than whatever is going on in the outside world.  So, I can happily sit in a corner and keep myself company.

Seriously, is ADHD/ADD akin to autism?

Wow both of your responses really spoke to me, especially bcgirl1978, when you spoke about talking about past conversations, imgaginary ones, or planning for future ones. Sometimes I feel that these converstations are what hold me together, as sad that sounds. I'm going to try to work more in therapy about this. It's just so hard though to actually talk about the things you do, then thinking if you can only recognize it you can stop it, but i can't.

[QUOTE=Sunidesus]Anyone else start laughing at something you said to yourself in your head? I've gotten a number of very odd looks for suddenly starting to giggle when absolutely nothing funny is going on.[/QUOTE]

Yep, more than once.  And when I get a funny look, I just mumble something like "Just remembering a joke I heard yesterday."

Yes, all the time.

And I'm so much better at conversing with people when it happens inside my head!

I've been starting to date again lately, and I often find myself planning the conversation ahead of time in my head. I'm always very funny in my thoughts, and everything goes smoothly. In real life, my tongue just can't keep up. I end up having very dis-jointed conversations and the other person has a lot of trouble following what I am trying to say.

The best time for "productive" internal dialogue is when I'm in the shower. My mind is free to explore anything, and I come up with some pretty amazing ideas. Unfortunately, I usually forget them by the time I get out of the shower. Sometimes I am so lost in thought, I can't remember what I've done (did I wash my hair??).I have an internal dialogue constantly....like now...it goes so long I don't get anything done that I mentally tell myself to do...because I am too busy telling myself exactly what to do. LOLMy inner dialog never stops ever!I have also told my self to shut up,it never works for me either.I only realized recently that not every one does this.I will be caught up in an inner dialog and won't be able to concentrate to hear the sermon at church.I will also get impatiant with my children sometimes because they are interupting my thoughts.how sad.I can not imagine a quiet mind I have never experianced it.

The only person I can talk to is myself, I write poems and these are just the conversations that I have had with myself.  I was always scared that if anyone read them that they would think I was mad, I thought I was mad!

My friend convinced me to submit them to a publisher and I ended up gettin twenty odd of them published.  Everyone was telling me that they were great, but they are just a part of me, so they just dont feel great or special to me.

I have these phases of what I can only call "Genius", sorry if it sounds like Im bragging, trust me thats not the case.  But the very next moment I have the thought processes of an infant.  If I am truly interested in something, I seem to find links when I am learning about it.  Once I lose interest (Happens everytime), I also lose the clever intuition that came with the interest.

I have conversation with myself all day long, most of the time I dont actually realise that I am doing it until its on going.  Noone understands how I relate things together, my wife has a good understanding of me, but to tell you the truth, I think she just loves me and agress and pretends to make me feel more normal.

 

Sorry this thread is so long, I'll shut up now.

Bye

Zach  

I have just read my last pearl of wisdom, I have decided that I just talk  Sorry.

 

If i remember correctly, some linguists stated that everyone seems to
have an inner dialoge going on and that it is like the side effect of having
words available to structure the world.

From what all of you have posted, it might just be more apparent to the
adhd people on this planet. Sounds like the problem could be that we
have less control over how and when this conversation takes place.

I personally feel like i'm using it as an aid to increase focus because i
have to formulate my thoughts. That keeps me on track. It also appears
to be helpfull in controlling impulse. Instead of entangling people in
harsh arguments, i go through it in my head first. That helps me to
address problems in a more reasonable manner later. Though, i have to
get much better in controling it. Sometimes fragments of the
conversation still slip out or i focus too much on my inner dialoge and
loose track of time and the surrounding world.

It also makes falling asleep very hard because i cannot stop it.
Someone even taped an extreme moment where i wasn't aware of talking
and showed it to me later. Not a big deal and a lot of fun because i used
different languages for the different trains of thought but i was quite
ashamed afterwards I use a lot of inner dialog also.  I am constantly talking to myself, organizing my thoughts.  When the voices go silent or when they're not mine I get frightened.  Not so much anymore.  Now that I understand what is happening and I am on the proper medication it can get annoying but it's manageable. [QUOTE=Superrad24] have realized that i pretend I'm talking to people in my head (though this is not psychotic), sometimes looking for comfort, answers, or reasons i'm sure i'm unaware of. I may have been doing this for a while but I am just starting to notice it after starting therapy. The major issue with this, because i know most people here do have different inner monologues, is that sometimes i value my conversations in my head rather than reaching out to other people. Where it has really paralyzed me as a person is that i feel have actually been accomplishing things through these tactics when really its the same thing over and over.

Thanks
[/QUOTE]


Well, hello there. I'm not sure if it's what most of us do and talk to ourselves or daydream in our minds or outloud, but all I can say is if that's the case, you're in great company.

I also think that what goes on in our minds has possibly been a way we have learned to cope, like creating a world for us where we can relate to ourselves and live in a world where we are not losers, we're not financially poor, we're not having a boring life, we're not lonely, we do exciting things, etc.. It's all harmless to me and frankly, I think it's fun.

At any rate, you may find this site liberating. So many of us have found that our secret quirky things that we've been hiding from others most of our lives are actually so many things many others here do and can totally relate to.

That's my twenty cents worth, however, welcome.YES!!!! All the damn time. Friends and family tease me because my lips will start moving, so it looks like I'm talking to myself!!!!!!

I've recently realized why I do this ALL THE TIME!! Since my mind(w/ADHD) is always looking for high stimulation externally, I can go inward as well. My brain randomly picks a situation with somebody from my past or present and engage in conversation or senarios. It can be fun at times, but for the most part these daydreams zero in on my insecurities and shortcomings. Anxiety swells up in my head and it gets REALLY intense and it tears down my self esteem(a secondary symptom of ADHD).

These intense daydreams, I've realized, gives my brain direction, focus(Hyperfocus) because I panic when my mind goes blank or there's nothing to stimulate me externally. It's been hard road to realize that my brain finds comfort in this mental habit. These are not good daydreams, they consume me everyday. Recently, meds and my Coach are working to cope and settle the mind down to rebuild a new self esteem. This wll take awhile.

Good luck to you. I hope this helps.

SAM [QUOTE=goldenmoment]

I also think that what goes on in our minds has possibly been a way we have learned to cope, like creating a world for us where we can relate to ourselves and live in a world where we are not losers, we're not financially poor, we're not having a boring life, we're not lonely, we do exciting things, etc.. It's all harmless to me and frankly, I think it's fun.

A[/QUOTE]

i couldn't have explained it in a better way

This was a great post. Inner dialogue is just thinking in a conversational format. Like if you have to go to the bathroom, you don't think: pee, bladder, bathroom. You think how you would explain to somebody that you know how badly you have to pee and then they might say...

Does anyone out there not think this way?

You know how we all talked incessantly when we were little? We just shut our mouths and let the words ramble on internally.

 

haha I do this too!!!!!

One other thing I have a BAD habit of doing is to talk to myself out loud as I do an activity to confirm I have done all the steps in the process.

 

Reizende38443.3307407407i've also being talk to myself for years. i use it also for comfort, even if the 2nd me is sometimes really overhelming. As Eburns puts it
[quote] I am my own best friend.

Like I said in an earlier post, what goes on inside my head is WAY more entertaining than whatever is going on in the outside world. So, I can happily sit in a corner and keep myself company. [/quote]

i spend about 2 hours per day in bed talking to myself about the past day (what i did, what i should have, what went wrong/ok ...) and about the upcoming one like some people feed they diary. sometimes i'm feeling insane, as i was shizoid.Bon jour, Xavier! I had a therapist/counselor who told me self-talk, even out loud, is very healthy, even for 'normal' people. It's just it's easier for us than for 'normal' people.    So I guess that makes us healthy.

I also took the DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) in a group. And one of the strategies we learned for distress tolerance was using imagery to improve the moment. Allow me to quote:

"Imagine very relaxing scenes. Imagine a secret room within yourself, seeing how it is decorated. Go into the room whenever you feel very threatened. Close the door on anything that can hurt you. Imagine everything is going well. Imagine coping well. Make up a fantasy world that is calming and beautiful and let your mind go with it. Imagine hurtful emotions draining out of you like water out of a pipe."

Although we were told this is intended to increase the ability to refocus and change your focus, I know we need to be able to focus to begin with, don't we? But it's a place to work on focusing, right?

Sound familiar to anyone? So it seems we've been doing this all our lives.

Reizende,I wish I could learn to keep my mouth shut, and substitute my inner dialogues for actual talking more often than I do. GypsyWomyn38443.4175810185

We should be patting ourselves on the back, not calling ourselves schizoid! Talking to ourselves, i.e. putting our ideas into a conversational context is a strategy for organizing our thoughts. Saying things outloud reinforces what you want to remember by involving more of our body parts to connect with the idea.

However, I am grateful that I have kids now so that I can masquerade my leaky inner dialogue as a one sided conversation with baby.

this really hit home. it is almost like hearing voices, but i know they are all mine. i have been distracted for hours by these scenes in my mind. if i have a disagreement with someone, i can be sucked into this frame of mind where i play out the whole thing in my brain. it can make me very upset, to the point that anyone around me will start to react as if 'm mad at them. the dialogues and monologues going on in my head frequently spill over and have very real effects on my relationships with people in the "real" world.

it is sad because i know that i have been distracted enough from what i'm doing and where i'm at that it has adverse effects on my jobs, my kid's, my friends...

i do take some solace that this whole dialogue thing also has a positive side. i can't tell you how many times i have found solutions, and new ideas and approaches to life, the universe, and everything by going off into my head and letting these things go and by paying attention to the bigger picture. it is almost like a form of active dreaming in which you participate in this ethereal place and guide your thoughts, just a little, to find the positive and calm. but usually i still get caught in the negative space of frustration and conflict. 

[quote=seeker63] I do take some solace that this whole dialogue thing also has a positive side. i can't tell you how many times i have found solutions, and new ideas and approaches to life, the universe, and everything by going off into my head and letting these things go and by paying attention to the bigger picture. it is almost like a form of active dreaming in which you participate in this ethereal place and guide your thoughts, just a little, to find the positive and calm....[/quote]
I suppose this is very similar to successfully meditating and asking our 'higher self' for solutions. In fact, I believe our inner dialogues are a form of meditating, providing we're not ruminating on something negative and not listening for possible solutions.

gypsy womyn yes i see it that way to. religious people are always talking about praying as if it is a ritual and not an interactive, intuitive, and introspective process.

anyhow, thank you for reminding me.

[QUOTE=seeker63] gypsy womyn yes i see it that way to. religious people are always talking about praying as if it is a ritual and not an interactive, intuitive, and introspective process.

anyhow, thank you for reminding me.

[/QUOTE]

And I stress the 'higher self ' not necessarily 'higher being.' Although I do realize that is what you just indicated, seeker. Just wanted to reiterate my thoughts.

I only recently have an internal monologue that I can actually hear. Before I started medication there was so much noise in my head - that my thoughts felt like I was trying to cross the street during rush hour. My internal monologue would stop to let the other thoughts or cars go by.  When I first started medication I was almost afraid to think because I thought that I would be run down by some fast car. So, slowly I would step off the curb and run to the middle isle for fear of being killed.  It took a while to believe that it was safe to think. 

Allow myself to..introduce myself

I have always talked to myself in my head and to other unnamed people. I once posted on here about when i was younger how I had many imaginary friends, many pretend lives,I would talk to my cat like a human and my stuffed animals. As I got older I started to imagine I was somehow changed, in attempts to find the real me. I would pretend to be from the future or something like that. I still do have an inner monologue. I also would write myself letters and then read them later in life. I also sometimes find that I will speak my parts and then catch myself, but most of my friends thought I was just messing around. I was a huge jokester in high school and was always changing who I was and I think in a way it helped me feel like I had many friends when really know one knew me at all. Superrad24,
    
Wonderful post.   I love your honesty on this issue.  I have had periods where inner dialogue has taken over myself.  I can offer two pieces of advice that worked for me.  The first is to read or get on tape a truly involving narrative.  I found that listening to Larry McMurtry stories on tape, my inner voice sometimes just sat down to listen with me!  Similarly, reading Lawrence Block's Matthew Scudder series, my voice often just made comments- -like commenting on a movie watched with others-- like wow, can you believe that? and oooh, I wonder what happens next?   Some might simply consider this another form of withdrawel, but I think it was and is much better than some other mentations and at least I'm getting outside input.

The other one is doing just what you are and finding interesting people to talk to....if we are interesting enough....then you might end up wanting to talk to us rather than yourself.

gearhead
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also....can anybody tell me why my posts always end with < ="">?
< =""> gearhead38442.7070023148 [QUOTE=bcgirl1978]OMG!!! You are NOT alone.


I had a horrible childhood. I had an alcoholic father and a severely clinically depressed mother. I was teased relentlessly by other kids, and I had very few friends (no TRUE friends til I was 17). I was very depressed through high school and contemplated suicide many times.

I always had a very active imagination. I would (and still do) imagine scenarios in which my life was much better. These scenarios were very vivid, complete with picture, sound, and everything. It was like acting out a movie in my head. The typical daydreamer I guess. Even though i've come to grips with my childhood experiences, have far more confidence, and am generally comfortable with my life, I still experience the "inner monlogue", as you put it.

[/QUOTE]

BCGirl... same parents, same imagination, same lack of friends and relentless teasing. I used to pretend I was someone else, I mean actually pretend all day that I was someone else in some fantasy scenario that would explain my differences, all the way up to the age of maybe 16. It's embarassing to admit to it, but I used to imagine I was some fictional character playing a role, and maybe I was only in high school "under cover" or something... it helped me through, and in the end inspired me to be more like the "fake" people I was escaping into. I used fictional characters, heroes etc, as role models, and tried to be more like them... "What Would Princess Leia Do?"
 I wonder who else here has done exactly that?
[QUOTE=X2b+~2b]yes I've told myself to shup up too.  It's sometimes really embarrassing - as when I realise I'm mouthing my part in my interior dialogue. And people give me strange looks.[/QUOTE]

I do that too. Or when I say something funny I'll suddenly start laughing or giggling and everyone around me will wonder why.

Hi, I also do the same thing!! I'll be thinking of something hilarious in my head and will crack up and laugh and people will wonder why I'm doing that and I'm also having conversations with myself or talking to myself sometimes. at least I'm not the only one!

Please forgive my ignorance, but can someone explain to me what a inner monologe is...

I have found when i'm angry I will have images in my head with conversations with people I am upset with. Sometimes I will mouth or say whats going on in my head or change the expression on my face and people will over hear me and look at me wierd. Where I will make up some funny excuse, like "sorry, I am just mumbling to myself, I must have money."

But I am not really hearing anything, I know I am making up both sides of the conversation, and its just an outlet for my feelings. Kind of a way to say what I want to say, without getting in trouble.

But I get the feeling people are having a differnt experience, like they are actually hearing people respond to them in thier head. So I think there might be a big differnce on what I think it is, and what you all mean.

 

[quote=Dave2u4now]Please forgive my ignorance, but can someone explain to me what a inner monologe is...

I have found when i'm angry I will have images in my head with conversations with people I am upset with. Sometimes I will mouth or say whats going on in my head or change the expression on my face and people will over hear me and look at me wierd. Where I will make up some funny excuse, like "sorry, I am just mumbling to myself, I must have money."

But I am not really hearing anything, I know I am making up both sides of the conversation, and its just an outlet for my feelings. Kind of a way to say what I want to say, without getting in trouble.

But I get the feeling people are having a different experience, like they are actually hearing people respond to them in thier head. So I think there might be a big difference on what I think it is, and what you all mean.[/quote]

Dave, in my opinion, an inner monologue is precisely what you described you do. I don't think others are actually "hearing voices" but, like yourself, have conversations created by themselves, or imagine the other "voices" are saying. It's much different than actually "hearing voices" ~ univited voices (we're not psychotic).    Does this make sense to you?

Theoptimizer....I loved your analogy!   It really must be nice to have your head quiet enough to actually hear your inner monologues. GypsyWomyn38442.9325115741I think we all 'speak' to ourselves. OR at the very least 'pray' outloud. I certainly am 'guilty' (raising hand here) am talking to myself (but not outloud) and .... ummmm... rehearsing 'how' I am going to address certain issues. This doesn't however make me 'feel' abnormal nor does it make me feel that I have adhd/add or should I say 'any of the above'. Have you ever went for an interview and rehearshed either outloud on the way or just silently on (probably outloud I'd say) 'how' you will greet the person you're going to see? I wonder though if these thoughts...lead to actions? Now if these actions become problems then and only then would I say there must be something 'not quite right with me'. Again...I think thinking outloud or inside our minds is quite natural - normal - whatever you wanna call it.

 

I don't know if any of you have ever taken the meyers briggs test.  Could the inner dialogue have something to do with being more introverted in nature? 

i_am_pauls_mom-

yes everybody does have inner monologue, and it doesn't neccessarily make you wierd or abnormal.

however, what i experience is non-stop internal dialogue. i frequently get so tied up in my thoughts and the dialogue that it gets hard to concentrate and be present, or deal with other people. it isn't an occasional thing either. it's most of every day.

as for rehearsing, i definitely rehearse and think over what i'm going to say before every interaction. if i think of the words i need, and what i'm saying, while trying to be aware of other's cues as i'm speaking, two things generally happen.

first, i trip over my tongue and mispronounce words and flip them in sentences, or say entirely wrong words.

the other is that i'm bound to say what comes into my head without any self-editing. i get embarassed, and embarass other people by blurting out things that are either taken as (and frequently are) rude, or come off as harsh or too forceful.

after a lifetime of this, and really wanting to be at least somewhat socially acceptable, i have to rehearse. even then i don't catch it all before it comes flying out of my mouth.

another part of the inner dialogue is that sometimes i can really be engaged in my mind having a conversation, which is usually an argument,with someone i know, that is entirely imagined. i can get caught up having that dialogue to the extent it affects my mood, distracts me from doing what i'm doing.

i'm frequently surprised when people around me start reacting to me being mad, or frustrated, or whatever. but i can't explain that it is in my head, and that i'm not mad at them in the least.

But the very next moment I have the thought processes of an infant.  If I am truly interested in something, I seem to find links when I am learning about it.  Once I lose interest (Happens everytime), I also lose the clever intuition that came with the interest.

DAMN! You hit it right on the head......Thanks for my daily moment of enlightment. *whew*

Question is: How do we break the cycle of losing that "intuition"?

On the bright side, I have got to know a hell of a lot about a hell of a lot, I can tell you something about pretty much anything!

As for keeping the intuition, our survey says......errrrrrrrr errrrrrrr

Sam, what a most excellent quote by the way, if I had a pound for every time I heard those words....