Not able to cry! Anybody else? | ADHD Information

For almost two years now, I have NOT been able to cry...even when my beautiful cat died in my arms! I've been on an antidepressant and thought that may be to blame. Or perhaps it could be because of other meds I'm taking. (Just started on ADHD med this week)

I want to cry and need to cry, but it just sticks somewhere in my chest, which hurts even more than why I want to cry. I believe that crying is a very necessary and important release for all of us. I've tried watching every movie that used to leave me bawling like a baby (only one I haven't tried yet is West Side Story).

Last night I dreamed I was crying, a really good cry, too. Very realistic. I actually woke up feeling refreshed.

So, I just wanted to know if any of you have, or have had, this very frustrating enigma. Thanks!
Help me

GypsyWomyn38389.7369791667

((((Gypsy)))) , hon I know that's got to be tough, wanting to cry and you can't. Why wouldn't you think that the meds are not the cause? Have you been on the A-D for the same two years? If so, then the A-D might actually be the culprit!

Hon, if there is anything I can do to help I hope you know I'll certainly try - just don't ask me drive from Tennessee to Washington state, ! If you wanna talk you can always call me. Unfortunately, I don't have a digital phone any longer. If you have one with free minutes on the weekends then start those little fingers to dialing, woman.

Hope you feel better real soon.

Peace and ,

ladyhope

Thanks for your sympathy, Lady. Believe it or not, I've never had a cell phone, and have only used one twice. Now imagine that for not being a conformist!

Yeah, I always imagined the A/D was the culprit, but can't really afford not to be taking it. Before I started on it, I was crying all the time. Isn't there any happy medium? I remember the pharmacist telling me eventually I'd be able to cry...well, two years is already too long to wait. boo hoo

Are you studying or watching the Rose Bowl Half-Time...Paul McCartney!

Well, obviously you're not studying if you've been on line again.

Later, Moi Ladyhope! Can you imagine us both on the phone at the same time???? Boy, we'd rack up the minutes. Blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah......you know I ain't studying if I'm online, you're right. I've done it now. I haven't been able to concentrate all day long, inside it's like a racetrack going 150 mph.

Nope, don't do the "bowl" stuff of any kind. I had enough of that dating jocks earlier in life.

And yeah, I can imagine both of us on the phone yapping for some time. I think it's something both you and I could use about now. I'll bet I could get you to laugh so hard you'd start crying.

Why don't you ask the doc about cutting your A-D dose in half? I would think the inability to show a needed emotion like weeping would eventually be harmful at some point, wouldn't you? I think you should definitely talk to him/her about it.

With me it was the other way around, I needed the A-D to stop crying. My weeping spells were so bad that I could look at someone and if I knew that they were hurting either emotionally or physically I would start crying too. It was absolutely uncontrollable at one point that I did not want to leave the house in fear of my emotions. That is baaaadddd!

Peace,

ladyhope

Rae hands Gypsy some of her tears

Rae, thanks, sweetie!

Lady, yeah, that's the way it was before A/D. Cry at the drop of a pin. We were going to try lowering my dosage of Paxil, but found it was helping with my motor tics, too. So, I'll just have to cry vicariously through my friends here. Thanks!! sniff,sniff

You'd probably not only get me crying from laughing so much, but I'd probably pee my panst, too!.

GypsyWomyn38389.7959490741bcgirl, yes, I've heard of the Dry Eye Syndrome. Unfortunately, that's not my problem. If it were, there's meds for that too. I have plenty of saliva, sweat glands work just fine, etc. OMG, there's just too many meds! Anyway, before I started antidepressant, I cried all the time (maybe I did use up all my tears).

I was seeing a counselor until very recently, and she claimed she saw my eyes water up a few times, so I know I can physically cry. I do want to thank you and everyone else for their tears. I'm feeling better already. Maybe tomorrow I'll try watching West Side Story, if that don't do it, nothing will!

GypsyWomyn38389.848599537Hug to ya and luck to have a good ole fashioned cry.....

Hi Gypsywomyn, I to can give you alot of my tears! I cry to much. Ready, here they come! . Was that enough?

I know just what your going through. Before DX'ed with ADD, I was always depressed. The doc gave me Prozac. I thought it was wonderful! NO MORE TEARS! But than I discovered I had no interest in doing anything that I somewhat enjoyed. I got up every morning and just went through the motions. Certain songs or movies that ALWAYS made me cry, now left me feeling empty and dead inside. That was about 8 yrs ago. One morning I decieded to dump them down the toilet. Days later I cried so hard, but it felt good to feel emotion again.

Just last Wed. my doc gave me samples of Lexapro And unlike last time I tried them, I diden't get sick to my stomach. And believe me, I can still cry!

i think that paxil is one of thee hardest on our emotions, and i know this from past experience with it too.

have you ever tried celexa? i was on that for a while and i had no trouble shedding a tear and it was much milder then the paxil and i gained no weight with the celexa either and i think it is one of thee best anti-ds plus i have heard that the stims can have an anti-d benefit as well!

Gypsywoman, this may sound a little strange, but some people actually physically cannot cry. It is called Dry Eye Syndrome, and it can be a precursor to Sjogren's Syndrome, an autoimmune disorder that affects all the moisturizing glands in your body - tears, saliva, oil glands in the skin, etc. If the condition is severe enough, then a person would not be able to cry at all. It can come on at any age, and some meds can make it worse.

That, however, is only a possible physical explanation. If you think there is an emotional reason (or lack thereof, LOL), perhaps you should seek some counselling. In the meantime, here are some of my tears: They seem to come a little too easily sometimes.

Hey Gypsy, I've been on Paxil for quite some time and I've definately experienced the same problem. Not as severe, but still an issue.

When I first started on an a/d (Prozac) it stopped the nonstop, crying at the drop of a hat, but I wasn't crying at anything at all. It felt like my emotions were just gone. Eventually they came back, but then the Prozac quit working so we switched to Paxil. Same thing happened.

Whenever I've gone off my meds (yes, I know. stupid thing to do) it always takes a couple weeks after I go back on to get any emotion back at all. But my no feelings time only lasts a few weeks. I can't imagine living in that state for so long. You have my sincerest sympathy! {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn]For almost two years now, I have NOT been able to cry...even when my beautiful cat died in my arms! I've been on an antidepressant and thought that may be to blame. Or perhaps it could be because of other meds I'm taking. (Just started on ADHD med this week)

I want to cry and need to cry, but it just sticks somewhere in my chest, which hurts even more than why I want to cry. I believe that crying is a very necessary and important release for all of us. I've tried watching every movie that used to leave me bawling like a baby (only one I haven't tried yet is West Side Story).

Last night I dreamed I was crying, a really good cry, too. Very realistic. I actually woke up feeling refreshed.

So, I just wanted to know if any of you have, or have had, this very frustrating enigma. Thanks!
Help me [/QUOTE]

Based on my own personal experience, it seems that the greater the hurt, the harder it is to cry. While I will blubber at a Hallmark commercial, I may not cry at something much worse. I think it is a coping mechanism, like "I can stop the tears with this, but I can't stop them with that."

I won't go into the gory details ;), but I have found with myself that one day, the floodgates break and you really let it go and it pours out. I hardly cried for several months, then one day, I had a loss that would have caused a few tears in the average person. In me, it became a crying jag that lasted for hours.

It may be self protection in a sense. Don't fret about it. The tears will come back again but you will be prepared to deal with them.

Hugs,

Esther

I'm a guy so I don't really cry often. This thursday I went to my friends wake (he was only 21, died tragically) and my eyes teared up like hell. Not a drop out but they sure did get watery.

Depending on the incident, sometimes the whole situation doesn't sink in until much later. Its like a subconsious surge/overload protector so we don't meltdown (doesn't work all the time). Sometimes coping methods take the pain away (temporarily). It could be the medication that is doing it or it could be other changes in your life or even a combination of things. My bet would be the medication taking a large role, talk to your doctor about it.

I don't know what causes your inability to cry, but thought I'd pass this on:-)

Marlene

I'd like to thank all of you for your tears and hugs!

Dr agrees it' probably the meds, but doesn't suggest I stop or lower any dosages. What's a girl to do? I liked it better when I cried at everything, especially those Hallmark commercials!

I did cry 1 1/2 yrs ago, when a friend died...and cried, and cried. I may have used up all my tears.

I'll just have to hang in there, and hope one day when the tears stick in my chest again, I give a big ole sneeze and they'll splash out everywhere! At least I can still laugh.

GypsyWomyn38416.5446180556Esperanza...there's something I've never understood. I just went to the Lexapro site, and it claims "sleep better";however, it states one of the side effects as insomnia. In fact, they ALL claim this. Is this just a temporary side effect? So, does it help sleep or not???

In fact I've noticed all meds claim as side effects something you'd be taking it for in the first place ???
I do not take any antidepressants and I have never cried. I didn't even cry when my future daughter was stillborn, which did not go over very well with my g/f.

I have been told many times by several differant psychologists that this is common among ADHDers. It is usually the result of many years of internalizing feelings, which is what happens when you have a low self-esteem and no support network ( no friends, no parental support). It also appears in abused children.

It makes sense seeing as how I never had friends as a child, no real dad, a stepdad that was more like a stranger and a mother that caused more damage to my self-esteem and personality than a million evil little children ever could have.

Now I don't have many feelings at all. Mainly love for my girlfriend. 1 person out of 6 billion, pathetic huh. The only other 2 'feelings' I experience are depression or when I'm not depressed a wierd sort of elation that is not really happiness but is close enough. My mother is bi-polar but my mood shifts have never been anywhere as severe as hers. They are gradual. I am used to depression, it's comfortable. Happines scares me almost as much as the first day of kindergarten did. I was justified to fear kindargarten and the masses of evil, heartless children. I must be right to fear emotions. They only get in the way.

Wow, Santley, I'm actually at a loss for words.

I don't feel so bad now.

Well, here come a few...ok, so you're ADHD and may have a different bi-polar than your mom, but you may also have BPD. Borderline Personalitly Disorder. BPD people have a difficult time recognizing emotions and knowing how to react on them. Best you I just let you look it up on WebMD or somewhere on line.
I also have BPD, and have a difficult times with recognizing and controling my emotions, including anger. BPD does stem from our environment as children.

Here's an x-tra hug from me.

GypsyWomyn38416.5534953704

Hi, I was surprised to see your question, but also releived like so many of the posts I read on here. I was just discussing this with my doctor a few weeks ago. I have suffered from depression for many years. None of the antidepressants were able to help me. I have learned to deal with the depression. I am a sensitive person anyway, but with the depression the last 10 years I cry ALOT. I was recently diagnosed with ADD and put on Adderall. I have been on it for about 3 months, 60mg and one of the side effects is that I can't cry! It is very interesting because I feel the painful emotions, BUT I cannot cry. It is OK as long as I do not feel like the lack of crying is choking me. My emotions feel like they are in check and everyone says I seem calmer. Interesting I feel the same inside?

At least I know I'm not alone. But sometimes not being able to cry does choke me. But I've been coping with not crying...and too busy working on all the other adhd things that need working on.

We did lower my Paxil, but hasn't worked yet (crying, that is.)
You said: "My emotions feel like they are in check and everyone says I seem calmer." I say:

Leesa, I don't know if it's because you "activated" this topic, but if it is, I want to THANK YOU! Last night I had a dream in which I cried, really cried!

And I woke up feeling soooo good. I don't think I cried real tears physically, but definitely did in my dream, which is real enough for me. I was even aware in the dream that I hadn't been able to cry for a long time, and just let it out! Thank you, Leesa!

Ahhhhhhhhhh