Ouch... | ADHD Information
Just broke up with my boyfriend and wanted to talk to someone. I finally let down my barriers and let osmeone get to know the real me- faults, ADD and all- and I'm proud of myself. Given the chance I'd do it again. I fell in love and he had too much baggage, so I let him go.
I guess it's the end of an era and the start of a new chapter. However going back into the dating game anytime soon seems so daunting! Any tips?
Kristen
just be good to you. this is not your fault.
if someone really loves you..they will accept everything about you.
feel better
too right!Kristen....i am confused you broke up with him because he had too much baggage? I have one very important tip for you - SPEND SOME TIME ON YOURSELF BEFORE GETTING BACK INTO THE DATING SCENE!!! At least a good 6 months, preferably a year. I've always felt that if one goes looking for love, then they are trying to fill some sort of void, that is best filled with a sense of your OWN self-worth.Not to say, of course, that this is your case. I don't know you from Eve. Just a thought.
I broke up with someone several years ago for the same reason. Well, similar reasons anyway. He did not accept my quirks (I didn't even know I HAD ADD then), and constantly accused me of being lazy, and that I didn't "care about him" enough to remember things. He had major problems with self-esteem himself, and I spent years trying to help him nd trying to be understanding, only to finally realize that he was more content to wallow in his own self-pity (preferably with me babying him in the process), than to help himself get better. He was extremely verbally abusive and I got sick and tired of walking on eggshells. I had to cut him and his boat-load of emotional baggage loose. We were simply not healthy for each other.
Good for you for 'being yourself.' I agree with what the previous poster said about spending time with yourself to figure out who you are and what you want. Your 'self' is definitely important!
I, too dated lots of guys who either were trying to fix my faults or had a false image of who I was. My husband is the one person I have ever dated that I felt could really see who I was, and accepted it all- makes for a very good marriage.
[QUOTE=CreativeCrazy]Kristen....i am confused you broke up with him because he had too much baggage? [/QUOTE]
Yeah... same here, hopefuly the dude learned his lesson. Mistake to completely open yourself up to anybody.
Prime example here in this thread.
Met to put this in there earlier but I lost connection
Canimakeit38392.8049189815"I fell in love and he had too much baggage, so I let him go." You must have found out about the baggage after the fact, or did you know before the in luv gig? Either way it's tough, I know.
I agree with what someone said earlier about *spending time with yourself* after a romantic break-up. Being alone has many assets. In many ways it's almost comforting. It allows you to have complete control over your whole life in ways one might not think of in a relationship, such as plenty of hot water, always knowing where the remote control is, no picking up someone else's clutter, the rocky road icecream is there in the freezer when you want some, and quiet Sundays relaxing and renewing for the week ahead, well, unless you're a sport lover too 
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Hello. Firstly thanks so much for all the responses, I don't feel as alone now:)
Let me clarify: he was with the same girl for 11 years, and they were married 6 months. She was a psychologist and I'd say she played a lot of mind games as my ex is very kind and has a good heart. However he did let her take advantage of this.
They broke up just over a year ago, and he thought he was ready for a relationship but wasnt either physically or emotionally. I gave it three months then decided to let it go...I think he needs to find himself.
So yeah, its tough. But I know it's for the best, and I can't wait for him to start feeling better and kicking some ass:)
Kristen
i found it hard to stay with someone too!, i was a single parent with 2 kids, i wouldnt let anyone in and then i met someone, i was nasty to him, only wanted him for nookie really but he fell for me, i didnt want to be like i was and slowly put my barriers done, i married him and weve been together for 5yrs on 14th feb, weve got 5 kids now!
i know how hard it is to let those barriers down, ive found even though i love my hubby he dont understand me at all and his now making me depressed, he knows ive got adhd and so have 3 of our kids, but yet he winds me up, takes the pee and i cant take it anymore, his pushing me away from him!
ive tried talking to him but he wont listen, the only time he gives me affection is when he wants to help his errection and im not having it! i havnt slepted with him for months upon months and its his fault, would you sleep with someone that speaks to you like crap then wants you?
well im not like that, i dont know what to do anymore,help xx
Thanks for your replies. So once I'm ready to move on, any good dating tips for ADD-ers?
It sucks when their is a third unpresent party in a relationship...no room in the bed!!! Good for you!
Now, I may not have a license but my prescription would be a pint of BEN AND JERRY'S and maybe rent "Terms of Endearment"
