Anger/frustration | ADHD Information

I used to have wicked problems with anger and frustration. When I was a child I used to hit my sister because she didn't want to play the same game as me. When I was 20 I put my bare foot through a wall and didn't even hurt myself. I used to snap at the slightest things.

Over the years, this has improved immensely. However, I still find moments when the smallest thing will just me off!!!!! Just now I tried to enter something into a computer program, and I hit the same wrong key 3 times. The blood pressure rose and I just smashed both my fists into the keyboard. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and promptly forgot what I was trying to do in the first place. That just irritated me more.

Anyone have any advice? Can anyone just co-miserate?
bcgirl197838392.5194791667

Is this another commonality with adhd'ers, because I am just like this.  As I have aged the temper flairs are not nearly like they were in adolescence.  I was even scared of myself during this time.  It takes a lot to set me off now, unless I'm really stressed, but when the cork blows my anger swells to dangerous levels and I begin shaking uncontrollably.  But the computer can still set me off quite easily.  I banged the keyboard just the other day over something stupid that was happening with the internet.  

CC - I don't know if my other meds are affecting me the same way about being hyper-sensitive to things, but tags bother me, as well as, anything else that pokes, scratches, or rubs my skin in an uncomfortable way.  I even have to adjust my socks because they bother my little toes on both feet.    Isn't that just insane!  And my eyes are really hyper-sensitive.  If one of those fuzzies floating in the air gets into my eye I have to stop everything and find it.

Thank goodness, I don't put my fist through walls anymore or kick doors off hindges.  And I'm greatful that I never hit people, I could not do that.  Most people were very polite when I became that angry and usually gave me all the room I needed.   

 

I was going to ask how you knew I was in BC ...... DUH!!!! 

I'm in the Lower Mainland.
bcgirl197838392.6720949074I did this too...when I was little if I couldn't get Barbie's shoe to stay on her foot I would bite her leg...(poor Barbie)...any way this continued throughout childhood and in adulthood too...My doctor says it is seperate from ADHD but alot of the time you have them both...it is hyper sensitive to the environment from birth...this causes anxioty disorder and puts your brain in the overly aware...fear...ready to explode position....the Lexapro that I take helps the brain with those chemicals that tell the brain everything is ok...One of the hypersensitive traits I had from childhood to meds...was I hated tags....and jewelry...they both bothered me.  Glad to see other people have this too.

I can totally co miserate with you. The littest things can set me off. I've gotten very good at controlling it and a lof of times people don't even know to look at me that I am totally frustrated and p*ssed right off.

I know when I was younger, I kicked the footboard of my bed and put a huge hole in it, I also used to rip things up in a fit of rage, I would scream at my poor parents for no reason - it all makes sense now!

What I do that really helps me when I am about ready to snap and freak right out, is I ask myself "In the overall scheme of life, how is this really going to affect me in 5 years?" For some reason, that question totally snaps me out of it and makes me put whatever it is that is ready to have me flying off the handle in perspective. I also think of things in terms of energy, so if I am getting super frustrated with something or someone totally ticks me off then I ask myself too, if this is worth the energy it takes to be this upset. And that helps me as well.

I've gotten a lot better through the years controlling my anger and frustration, I also force myself to take a mini break if it is something that is going to make me melt down. And if I am ready to snap and those little questions don't help me, then I write it all down and get it out of my system, and sometimes just "verbalizing" or writing down what is irritating me/frustrating me/p*ssing me off helps a lot.

Totally o/t, but where in BC are you? I'm on the island!

 

Hello. I am new. hehe.

Umm.....I live in BC too!

But yaaaaaaaah.. so anger problems arent part of ADHD?  or yes?

Cuz I know how you guys feeel.  But over the years I've rrealized that my anger gets out of control and I've learned how to deal with it. sort of.  having my little dog helps me out.  I dont know why.. but he's helped me learn how to deal with my anger. 

I remember one time when I threw a pan at my sister, dragged her down the stairs, drenched her in water just because she wouldnt listen to me.  And of course I still yell at my parents all the time for no reason at all. 

I get frustrated sooooooo EASILY!  LIke today.. i freaked out and smashed my keyboard, threw my mouse, threw my cell phone then started crying.. hahah..

oh dear.
< =""> I really think anger is part of ADHD...because "overwrought" has been said to be part of adhd....but speed like Adderall..might not address this problem...you may need something like anti anxiety pills.

I don't really have anger problems.  I snap sometimes, but I have to be really pushed into it, and it doesn't last long. 

Just wanted to say HI BC folks     I'm from the Okanagan, but am in the US at the moment.

In the book, "DRiven to Distraction", Halliwell talks about primary symptoms of ADHD (innattention, impulsivity, etc), but he also discusses the secondary symptoms that often come along with ADHD, such as poor self-esteem, frustration, feeling stupid, etc, at living a life as a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

Anger must be one of these secondary symptoms, if not a tertiary symptom (ADHD leads to poor self-esteem which leads to anger). I mean, the things that frustrate us wouldn't frustrate us so much if we didn't have ADHD. Like my hitting the wrong key three times in a row frustrates me because I think "DAMN, I can't even get that right!"

Just a thought.

Ugggh I just rehearsed this whole thought in my head and was going to type it and I forgot what I was going to say..I'll come back...

Me too! My problems tend to stem from frustration rather than outside provocation. My mum and ex bf just used to laugh and call me "Captain Cranky Pants"! But yeah if I get really fired up and pushed and pushed I get scarily angry. It was worse in adolescence, but I'm learning to control it better now

For me the anger is and was due to frustration.

And the poor self esteem, ya, I get that too. My whole life I have felt like a failure because I can't complete anything at all and that would drive me nuts becuase I was always thinking "WTH is wrong with me?" So I always felt lazy, unmotivated etc. On the outside people think I am so confident and have it all together ROFLMAO  but on the inside is huge turmoil just trying to keep things straight in my head and keep myself going and on track.

Thank god for therapy!

[QUOTE=bcgirl1978]In the book, "DRiven to Distraction", Halliwell talks about primary symptoms of ADHD (innattention, impulsivity, etc), but he also discusses the secondary symptoms that often come along with ADHD, such as poor self-esteem, frustration, feeling stupid, etc, at living a life as a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

Anger must be one of these secondary symptoms, if not a tertiary symptom (ADHD leads to poor self-esteem which leads to anger). I mean, the things that frustrate us wouldn't frustrate us so much if we didn't have ADHD. Like my hitting the wrong key three times in a row frustrates me because I think "DAMN, I can't even get that right!"

Just a thought.
[/QUOTE]

Wow!  I have all those symptoms!  I have been told I have a temper, but it always seems to spring out of frustration or self-esteem issues.   And when I have lost it,  I often am standing there 3 seconds later feeling like a fool for losing it.  I have lost friends, embarassed myself, got labled for it etc.  It really sucks

Not all my problems are ADD related, but it is great to know that there is an explanation for things that I couldn't understand before.

Thanks,

Esther

Anyone heard about the Pro's and Cons of Taking Depakote? My doctor put it on me to relax my mood. I am taking Adderall 15mg also, but sometime i still get mad at dumb things.

Esther,

I know what you mean about getting upset then like 20  minutes later asking yourself why did you just get upset, Everyone has been telling me, to stop and think about why i am getting upset, what will it benefit me. It has been hard doing that but i am working on it. Any other methods ANYONE know that will help you not blow up over silly things?

[QUOTE]Don't you think this might be a result of years of not being able to express ourselves very well? At least for me,,,,, I have thoughts swimming in my head, but I can't get them together and to come out of my mouth to say what I am thinking. Very often I can' t find every day words when I am talking to someone, and they have to sit and wait for me to think of the word I am trying to fish out of that sea I call a brain of mine. IT IS SOOO FRUSTRATING.

I try to argue politics,, but can't articulate why I feel the way I feel,,, because I can 't organize my thoughts enough.

So in my opinion, I think some of the anger is from frustration of a lot of things that ADHD cause.[/QUOTE]

Sandra...Oh yes!! You hit it on the nail! Welcome to the club! There's a thread below called "Are you misinterpreted?" or something like that, that I started. Read thru all of the posts in it. You'll definitely relate. Also some other threads that cover not getting the words from brain to mouth. You may have to do a "search" to find it, since it's probably on page ?? by now.

Frustrating! My life story because....not finding the word(s). Worse now, in fact, than when I was younger.

You're exactly right, about the frustration and anger being a result of ADHD. Hang around, you'll enjoy this forum, what you'll learn from it, and the great people here.

I too have a problem dealing with frustration I'm contantly being accused of yelling ( I say I'm only speaking to be heard). When working on a project everything needs to go as planned or I'll be looking to kill something. Stress of course makes this worse.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one!

I had anger problems as a child. Such as punching my neighbors face when she did something that really ticked me off. Then I would be calling her and apologizing,,,,,, but she wasn't over it yet.

I had road rage as a teen, and young adult, and now get so ticked at my kids. I have never hurt anyone, but I sure blow up easily.

Don't you think this might be a result of years of not being able to express ourselves very well? At least for me,,,,, I have thoughts swimming in my head, but I can't get them together and to come out of my mouth to say what I am thinking. Very often I can' t find every day words when I am talking to someone, and they have to sit and wait for me to think of the word I am trying to fish out of that sea I call a brain of mine. IT IS SOOO FRUSTRATING.

I try to argue politics,, but can't articulate why I feel the way I feel,,, because I can 't organize my thoughts enough.

So in my opinion, I think some of the anger is from frustration of a lot of things that ADHD cause.

Any thoughts????

I've always had a terrible temper , usually stemming from frustrations due to ADHD. However, not long after losing it, I would apologize to whomever I lost it at. Before I was even dx'd for ADHD, I was put on a mood stabilizer - Carbatrol (Tegratol), which is not a mind-altering drug, just what it says, it stablizes my mood. Although I still get irrtated, I don't get quite as angry as I used to. Not since I lost my last job (before being put on mood stabilizer). Now I'm looking forward to ADHD meds and working on my focusing, organization, communicating, just plain TALKING so I may be understood.
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