Help!! ADHD Does this sound familiar???? | ADHD Information

I had the problem with the overwrought, hyper sensitive, perfectionistic high strung temper...along with my ADHD anyway...I am on Adderall and Lexapro...it is a good mix and the Lexapro will address the anxioty..that he seems to have stored up....also when he does not take the Adderall is he this way...because if so then it is not the Adderall that makes him this way so then I wouldn't change the adderall....

Hello,

My husband has ADHD. He is 40 years old and diagnosed about 4 years ago, only when our son was diagnosed.

Help me, help him.... I have been married for 18 years, although those years have been very difficult. I have really tried to help him with understanding, patience, etc.  He takes his Adderall (not every day though) and he is still very nasty to me......mostly in the mornings.... VERY UPSETING...YELLS...BLAMES PEOPLE ON MOVING THINGS....WHY IS THIS NOT DONE....

Has anyone else experienced this....???? I TALK TO HIM NOT YELL and he is still not nice.... my kids see this.... and my 13 yr old son is aggressive also (adhd), now my daughter (16) has just been diagnosed ODD, ADD but she is not like that....

I love him but staying married to someone with ADHD is very difficult. Do not get me wrong here, I am not dissing you guys by all means my children are ADHD but help me help him....

ALMOST DIVORCED IN PA

 

 

 

Oh my goodness, I don't know what to say. I have ADHD, and I am not a good morning person, but I never yell at anyone or anything.

I'm by no means an expert or anything, but maybe you should go back to your husbands doctor on your own and explain what is still happening, maybe there is something else going on?

Have you tried counselling? It sounds like he might need some anger management therapy as well...

Just my two cents :o)

Keep us posted and try and hang in there (I know it's tough!)

 

~C.C.

I agree with CC.  He needs to see a Dr. and get an evaluations.  I don't believe ADHD would be causing this degree of bad behavior.

It could be a mis-diagnosis, it could be a reaction to the meds, it could be physical illness etc. 

He needs to see a Dr. ASAP for all your sakes.

Best wishes,

Esther

and welcome.

As I stated in another post today, ADD often comes with many secondary symptoms, and I suspect even tertiary symptoms. The primary symptoms of ADD - innattention, impulsivity, etc; quite often lead to secondary symptoms of poor self-esteem, frustration, and a sense of failure. These can then lead to more issues such as anger and lashing out at loved ones. All of this is much more prevalent in an undiagnosed case, or a late diagnosed case (such as your husband).

You are the person closest to him when he gets angry - therefore his lashing is done towards you. If he gets angry at work, he'd be lashing out at his co-workers.

Medication is only a small part of the treatment of ADD. Especially in an older person such as your husband, counselling and coaching are also very important steps. I would suggest the same for your son, before he gets any worse.

Talk to his doctor/psychiatrist. If he isin't seeing a psych, then get a referral to one with experience dealing with ADD. I'd also suggest picking up the book "Driven to Distraction", by Edward Hallowell - a doctor with ADD himself.
You might want to consider having him take a different drug than Adderall, which includes ampethtamine and increases aggression.  It sounds like it might be exacerbating something already there.

Taking stimulants helps me because I have ADD inattentive and the increased stimulation just normalizes me.  But if I had ADHD, the hyperactive type, I'm not sure a stimulant would be the best idea.

Hello Salgal,

I'm afraid I can be very much like this sometimes, sometimes everything that goes wrong has to be somebody elses fault.  Also, the low self esteem that many ADDults suffer can be externalised (if there is such a word) - by that I mean that sometimes you consider your loved ones to be worthless too.  I know it's horrible, but sometimes I have verbally lashed my poor wife something terrible, and it amazes me that she's still here.  I love her to bits, but I'm ashamed to say I have sometimes been a b*st*rd to her.  When I can't find something it's my wife's fault - until she eventually locates it and I remember putting it there, and I'm forced to admit it was my fault all along - I then make a grovelling apology and, fortunately, we end up laughing.  I guess I'm a very lucky man to have her (my first wife couldn't handle it, and left).

I dunno, maybe I'll go to Hell.

I really don't know what to suggest for you, if your husband is like me then you have my sympathy.  It's not his fault, but it's certainly not yours either.  - ADHD is no joke.  I guess I'm rambling again huh?

I hope things work out for you, and good luck.

Mark -