Baffled mom of 15yr old son w/ADHD

We just got a computer and I was so glad to find this site as I have been feeling very alone and worried about my 15 yr old son who has ADHD. I gave up on mainstream public schools 2 yrs ago but could not afford private schools so my son attends an "Alternative High School". I am worried about him because the program that he is currently in seems like it is designed as a place to put difficult teens until they are past school age...it is very weak on acedemics and many of the students smoke, steal.... My son is very smart, he has ADHD but he loves to read, as long as he is reading books that he is interested in ie)Sci-fi, Fantasy, ... He used to get in trouble in Middle School for reading during class. The teachers would confiscate his books and he would just show up with more. The problem was that he refused to participate in class...this was the result of several years of him struggling and being continually frustrated because classroom teaching did not hold his interest. I tried getting very involved with the school, we worked with a private counselor and developed an IEP...the problem was that it looked okay on paper but I could never get the school to actively participate in the plan. My son gave up and I gave in. I truly feel that public schools are cheating ADD and ADHD children out of getting an education. They are supposed to be able to be protected by the disability laws, but they are not...at least in my area...the teachers and principals kept saying that they could not accomodate my son's needs of more one on one, interactive learning and mentoring on daily organizational skills...they said that he was too intelligent for special education. I am baffled and I am angry! So here I sit having compromised my son's eductation because public school's refuse to catch a clue and private specialty schools in this area cost far too much (ie. $1,000.00/month tuition for a school specializing in ADHD..!) I checked to see if there was any kind of funding available ...but again I found nothing. I feel like my son and others like him are falling through the cracks. This is heart-breaking because we are really talking about brillant children! I feel like no one understands. I have been remarried for 2 years and my husband does not understand either. I guess I am just venting tonight...but if anyone reads this and can relate or better yet if you have found solutions and avenues that may shine a ray of hope my way please respond. Thank you

Hi! Baffled

Have you considered homeschooling? Since your son is 15, do you think he may be able to homeschool himself? If so, you should look up http://www.oakmeadowschool.com. The cost of this may well be worth it for you. Also, I do not know much about this but you should look up Wright's law and maybe go to http://www.SchwabLearning.org message board many of the parents on this message board have successfully sued their school districts for private school tuition(the people on the Schwab message board are very knowledgeable in this area).

Hope This Helps!

I just joined this forum today, so I'm posting like mad. I can so sympathize with you and wanted to tell you we removed our 13 yo 2 years ago from a special ed school specifically over academics. (He had been there since Kindergarten). We are homeschooling, and you know what? He loves it! AND we have seen improvements in other areas as well. I have had a number of people tell me how much calmer and happier he seems. Also, because he is not expending so much energy into "behaving himself at school" he is willing to work a little harder on social skills at church and in making friends. He is more social and interacts more fairly when we invite kids over. I definitely feel that he is reaching out more and has less stress. My son is very bright and very motivated as a student. Homeschool for us costs between $800 to $1200.00 per year. We use a literature based curriculum, but there are many excellent curriculums out there, some even online and all with varying degrees of parental time investment. It was a good move for us. The only drawback has been that we need to work a little harder and a little more "on purpose" to give him social contacts.

I know how you feel. I have a 13 year old daughter that has adhd & dealing with the school system at these ages is VERY difficult. I have had to fight for testing, placement, & the rights that I found, not thought, my child was intitled to. We have just moved our daughter to the 3rd school system. We had to move her, this last time, because she spent half the year in ISS (in school suspension). She was put in there with kids who had severe problems with everything from smoking to sexual acts on the school bus because she couldn't stay in her seat & talked to much, but would not participate in class. I was told that all the school was responsible for was providing her with an education & nothing was done when I pointed out exactly the stuff she was learning from their "education" environment. I know how you feel though it's hard to sit in front of a principal, someone who holds the key to what you need, & they don't want to listen to what you have to say. It's easier to label them a problem & ship them off. Good luck with your son. I can't help with the answer but I hope it helps to know your not the only one going through this, your post helped me.

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