Myt 13 1/2 year old thinks he’s in charge | ADHD Information

I will do that Thanks rshn, never thought about the hormone thing.  I guess I have so much other with the ADHD that I didn't even think of that one.

JoAnn

MY 12 year old non adhd child this way. I feel is do to their homone changes. Ask Dr. check these.rshn

 I have a 13 1/2 year old who thinks he is always in charge.  I am constantly on his case.  He is my oldest of 4 kids and has ADHD/Depression/ODD.  If they don't listen he scolds them and often hits and screams in their faces.  He is defiant to me at times but I am the mother and tell him he will do as I say.  This seems to cause him to get more aggitated with me and I am at my wits end with him.  Sometimes I can't stand to be in the same room with him.  I love him dearly don't get me wrong! 

When it's time for chores he gets very mouthy and is very insistent that he is NOT doing them!  It's an arguement every single time. 

Any suggetions on how to turn this around.  I am not a physical discipliner and am losing my mind with him.  He doesn't care for much so when I take things away he just waits patiently to get them back..HELP! 

 

 

Have you reminded him what he is doing (ie hurting the others) is against the law and he could be in trouble with the police?

Or another approach is the one recommended by Dr. Greene who had written "The Explosive Child" who stated have three categories:  Catagory A is things that are not negotiable (like bed time, not using violence, etc); Category B is things that used to go in Category A, but you allow negotiation and make this known to your child: then Category C is stuff that doesn't matter and that you are going to allow (also stuff that used to be Category A).

This may be a fancy way of saying "pick your battles" but I think that you also have to keep in mind that the child has illnesses.  Some people think that you demand and the child should do everything you say and that is that.  But, with a child who is born to argue, if you always have to correct misbehavior, the child may internalize that he is bad.  And when a person starts beating their child into compliance then things go downhill very fast.

 

Thanks to everyone for the great advice.  I will try the catagory approach, and will take him out to lunch just the 2 of us and just try to talk to him.  I know he feels like he doesn't get enough attention, and I have 4 kids so I have to divide it all up and his 8 year old brother has Bi-Polar and does require a little more of my time just to deal with his illness.  I know that some of it is that we have kinda gotten into a rut that I give him attention when he gets my nerves on the rise by getting adgitated.  I am a big fan of Super Nanny, Dr Phil..etc.  I am always reading up on the disorders my children have online and books etc.  I am open to any and all suggestions and appreciate all of your suggestions. 

Looking forward to any more. 

Thanks JoAnn

What a 'very' hard age for 'any' child. BUT that doesn't excuse him from being disrespectful to his brothers/sisters. The "Super Nanny" approach would be to ask him to be a 'role' model for them. Maybe if he could be more 'helpful' with the other children ... you know...make him feel more important in a family role. I'm sure you've already tried this but it's just a suggestion. We all love our children and we all at some point can't stand to be around them...don't feel bad for saying that; it's just a fact. Wait...one more suggestion: is there 'anything' that you and him...(just you 2) can do together? Maybe he's feeling something...talk to him. And I know that's gonna be hard because at that age they know it all and have a wall when it comes to mom/dads. G'luck.