Why do I always yell? | ADHD Information

I am totally the Same way to on getting angrier at the littliest things,

I hate is so much, i get angry and blow up and then 1 hour or so later i am fine and have forgotten about it, but my fiance has not forgotten about it, Any suggestions on what people have done to try and control for this not to happen

[QUOTE=eaide2508]I hate is so much, i get angry and blow up and then 1 hour or so later i am fine and have forgotten about it, but my fiance has not forgotten about it, Any suggestions on what people have done to try and control for this not to happen[/QUOTE]

Suggestion? No, not really. I have a big problem with my pyrotechnic temper, and my wife is often on the receiving end. I've told her that it's a symptom of ADHD, and to try not to take what I say to heart - because it's the rage talking, and not the soppy old fool who can never find his socks.

Before we knew about ADHD she would often get upset (and I would get some satisfaction from that), but now we understand the cause I think we both cope better.

Sometimes I wonder how she deals with it though, 'cos I'm a real angryman.

If you find a way to keep this from happening, then I'd sure be grateful if you would tell me about it too.

Mark -

Mark Goode38413.2580092593

Well I have to say, I am normally the type of person that will try and calm a situation and it takes a lot to get me mad (I'm a Libra) But when I do it is like my mind is kinda blacking out, a really weird feeling that i cannot explain.

Now on my 3rd day of taking 2 x 10mg (last week 1x10 mg) dexedrine and for the first time, my old girlfriend got me aggitated, I felt the black out kinda feelling come on, but instead, i felt calmer and didnt yell and came back with "I really am not going to discuss this with u if your gonna yell at me, and maybe we should talk about this another time" OMG, I couldnt believe I said that!

So my meds help me deal with these outbursts a lot better!

Momma Jo38413.3145717593

I was just diagnosed with ADHD 3 weeks ago. I too, have always had trouble with my temper. In high school and after I would always go into a rage about the dumbest things. Punch walls, break things, yell, I usually ended up hurting myself or breaking something I owned. Over the last 5 years I've been more control, but every now and then it still happens. Since being put on medication and its only been two weeks I feel I've been more irritable at night and have already kicked the blinker in on my wifes car(sorry hunny) and she has had to make me leave twice. What works is that when my wife sees my getting frustrated she makes me take a walk and usually I calm down. One question could starting the medication make me more irritable for a while?

Any comments would be great.

Boy, this board is a constant source of comfort for me.

I have always been embarrassed by my temper, and have lost a few friends over it. ~~sigh~~ It wasn't until recently that I found that ADD was a contributor (that and a rotten upbrining :( ) And yep, frustration, poor self-esteem, poor self-control etc are all factors.

As for yelling, I notice it more in my ADHD brother. I then to get louder when I am excited and wound up. I think it is just all that excitement spilling over sometimes :)

I have had anger problems,,, since I can remember. I yell at my kids,,, and just blow up at little things. I am over it quickly, but others aren't .

Sometimes I think it is from overstimulation. Kids yelling, screaming , fighting, all day,,,,, I finially just have enough at some point. I get overstimulated quite easily.

My 18mg of Concerta is not helping with anything.

I totally Agree with you on getting angry and getting over it real soon and the other person does not get over it until hours later.

Are U-guys talking about moi?

After I read these posts I have no doubt that I truly belong here. I think, but don't actually know, that people with add/adhd are generally more excitable and are less aware of how they express their emotions. Slightly raising your voice is considered yelling to normal people. I am also very animated, like talking with my hands and nodding my head or displaying some type of bodily movement when I'm very passionate about a topic of conversation. I literally scare people on occasion! Right now, the mood stabilizer I'm on has curbed my yelling (raising my voice), aggitation and body movement, but I still swing my foot when my legs are crossed.

Other than medication, I know that exercise is wonderful for calming the mind and body. Probably because natural pain-killers called 'endorphins' are released into the blood stream once the heart rate reaches a certain level. Walking two miles, which can be done in 30 minutes, is just as effective as a 20 minute aerobic workout and a heck of a lot easier. I promise you will feel terrific once you catch your breathe. Good luck...

Peace~

ladyhope38413.770775463[QUOTE=eaide2508]

Any suggestions on what people have done to try and control for this not to happen

[/QUOTE]

I have started to take a deep breath and think about what I am about to say (sometimes it is really hard). I even tell my husband, "you are making me really angry and I don't want to say something I will regret so just let me alone for now". It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does.

HA HA Ladyhope, you remind me of when I was talking to some one, and using my hands as usual, their eyes were going all over, their head turning in every direction my hands were going, as they followed my hands. I thought it was funny.

I wondered if they ever heard anything I said because they were so busy keeping up with my hands.

GypsyWomyn38413.7725925926

I see myself is so many of these posts. The frustration just builds to a breaking point then it all comes out, and the more stressful the situation the worse it can be. (and I wonder why I have high blood pressure?)

Sometimes it feels like certian people just know what buttons to push to set me off, when keeping comments to themselves, would most likely make the situation much less volitile.

It also seems that I get louder when I feel that I'm not being heard.

Check into capd masked as adhd/add.

I get really pissed off at small things that happen to me in everyday life. For example, I always get the wrong key in the door. We have two keys, one for the bolt lock and one for the regular lock. I would alwayyyys get the wrong key in and it pisses me off and I don't know why, maybe it't because I don't like to waste the time on it. Anyways I was running up the stairs to my apartment once and was thinking to myself at how I better get the right key or I was going to be ultra mad. I got the wrong key, cursed to myself and then tried the other one. That one didn't work either, it turned out I had the right key the first time. I screamed a very foul obscenity at the top of my lungs and kicked the door. I put the other key in and walked in to find one of my room mates having a talk at the table with a group from church!!!!!!!!!! Anyways yea, it's just small things like that that annoy me and get me really mad, I don't know why, but it sucks.

Paul

[QUOTE=sonya_h]

one of my first realizations that i needed to see someone about this add was after my husband and i had been married for a couple of months, and the newness, and "wedded bliss" had worn off, and we started to have the normal newlywed fights....i started loosing control, and would get physically violent with them....

I new then, that this needed to be treated, or else.

[/QUOTE]

Sonya...oh my gosh meee too that totally is what happened with me...I started loosing it and throwing plates...etc....then one time he got into my face and yelled and I felt cornered and like when kids yelled in my face when I was little..and I popped the crap out of him....I did not know what came over me I did not know what to do ...but I used to get soooooooooooo frustrated....I now take Lexapro with my Adderall and it has made me feel as close to "normal" as I have ever felt...I am able to laugh off things and not let them bother me as much anymore...however some things do if i let them.....I think some of the anxiety that comes with ADHD causes this as well as what the other poster said about the whole self esteem and the feelings that we bottle up....cause our actions and reactions...

My husband has what I call flash anger

He gets really mad really fast......but is over it and forgets about instantly.

Most of the time I think it's out of frustration. Like when he can't get something to work, or find something. ??

Just my 2 cents

I new then, that this needed to be treated, or else.

we are MUCH MUCH better now!

Anger is one of the secondary symptoms of ADD. It stems from a lifetime of frustration and feelings of failure, not to mention the fact that many of us struggle with self-esteem and confidence issues.

I used to have a huge problem with temper. I still have some problems, but not like I used to. I used to hit my sister whenver she didn't want to play the same game as me, and she used to say to me "I hope you never have kids!" That really hurt.

I also once put my foot through the wall wearing only a sock at the time. I was so angry and pumped with adrenaline that it didn't even hurt. I've had bruises on my arms and wrists from pounding on walls and countertops. I even had a neighbour come over one night to make sure my (now ex) boyfriend wasn't killing me or something because I was screaming so loudly with rage. Ahem... this was all before I turned 22.

I am much better now. Some situations in my life have changed - I no longer take emotional abuse and I am much less hard on myself when I screw something up. I have self-confidence now - something I never had before - and it has made a world of difference. I still have my moments, but I am much, much better.

I told my mother recently that my (current) boyfriend and I have actually never had a fight (we'd been together two and a half years at that point). She didn't believe me. She said "YOU??? With your temper??? YOU haven't picked a fight in almost three years?? You're lying, I don't believe you!"

LOL.
I talk very loudly as well. but I have never had the anger problem. I dont
think I have ever punched anything out of anger, or even thrown a
tantrum.

I think it would do me a world of good if i did on occasion. maybe I
wouldnt be so much of a pushover. people always tell me that I need to
stick up for myself more often, but then I just figure that at 5'6 165 (I
have short arms too) I'm not going to do much damage when someone
pisses me off to the point that I want to hit them, so I dont and look like a
pushover.

I'm considering taking boxing lessons, just for confidence.I guess I just talk a little louder when I get annoyed, or when I'm trying to get a point across, but don't realize it. I've had people say to me "Don't yell at me!" I always say, I'M NOT YELLING!

I always thought I talk loud to begin with, but I've had one friend tell me I talk to softly. I just think they need their hearing checked.

GypsyWomyn38404.4110532407I don't know if this is a symptom of ADD (I was diagnosed w/ adult ADD) but I can't seem to control my temper when I get mad. I always seem to be yelling and I don't even realize that I do it. Whem my husband and I have our "tiffs" he always says, why do you always yell at me? I don't even realize I am doing it. I don't want to yell at him and I certainly don't like to do it w/ our daughter around...I feel like a horrible mother & wife.

[QUOTE=asm119]I don't know if this is a symptom of ADD (I was diagnosed w/ adult ADD) but I can't seem to control my temper when I get mad.[/QUOTE]

Fortunately my wife's used to it, and I've often seen her trying not to laugh when I've been throwing a tantrum - then the sight of her struggling to hide her amusement often turns my rage to laughter. I guess I'm a lucky guy.

(She did get annoyed when I kicked a door off its hinges once - but I guess that's understandable )

Mark -