I am trying to get my husband to explore the possibility of his son having ADD.  Two teachers have expressed that this may be a concern and a family counselor hinted at it.  My husband is very adamant about ADD being a hyped up "disease."  He doesn't believe it exists and that the medications available only hurt the kid in the future and led the kids to be criminals.  He just says "He is just being a boy" "He is just being lazy"  "He just needs old fashioned discipline"  I am not above spanking my children however I don't want to spank him every day.

My stepson is 9 yrs old.  During second grade and now third grade he has had problems focusing, following simple instructions, paying attention.  From what I have read he is probably more in the inattentive catagory.  He is not hyperactive.  He has a pretty even level of energy.  He rushes through school work and gets bad grades.  He is so smart!!  All of his teachers say he is bright and intelligent he just isn't applying himself.  His teacher this year has made a point of saying that he needs to slow down and pay attention. 

After a long conversation with his teacher I approached his dad about the possibility.  Dad is fighting me on it but has agreed that we will each do research and then compare notes.  From what I can find it is going to be hard for him to find the information he thinks he will find.  Although the things that I have seen about the meds is going to be his soap box.

I need any help that I can get to at least convince him to at least have his son evaluated.  This child needs help now so that he can get the foundation established for his education.  i even suggested getting him evaluated and then setting a trial period to see if works.  He won't go for that either.

I am tired of listening to the yelling everyday and the general upset that happens to the family when he is here.  (His mom has 50% custody but she is not to open to the ADD theory either and there is no love lost between us and her.)

Can anyone help me convince him to at least start the process?  From there I feel that he will begin to see the light.

Thanks!

I saw the ADHD symptoms in my 4 yr old and I started doing my research I looked everywhere and I came to the conclusion she has ADHD and then I told my husband what I thought and I made him listen to all the information I found and printed, I read it to him when ever we were in the car going anywhere and eventually he came to the same conclusion I did we went to see a pediatrian on 15 feb 05 and after some testing he told us we were right however she not olny has ADHD but also ODD and wants us to put her on Meds as soon as posible, because she will never get better only worse if we don't help her.

So my advice to you is read him the information whenever you can where he won't walk away leave the information in places he looks for things and tell your husband that the way he feels is normal for parents, it's can be very hard to admit that there could be anything "wrong" with their child.

I hope I helped even just a little.

It does help...thank you!

It's a way to go and to start.  However, it seems that God has answered my prayers already.  Dad is listening and he talked to mom and she is willing to do research also.  It almost sounded like she has already reached the same conclusion that I have but was unwilling to commit to anything yet. 

So if anyone has any suggestions on where to find info or if you have found a website that you thought was especially helpful I would appreciate it.

Thanks! 

I found both the local library and the web are helpful just remember not to belive everything you read once my theory is if I read the samething 2 or 3 times then it is probably correct. Don't just stick to one book or one site look around there is tons of good information out there the trouble is finding it thru the bad stuff.

Once again Good Luck

I went through a similiar thing with my step-daughter. I said for her entire kindergarden year, that she needs to be tested for ADHD. She was always in trouble for talking, and she couldn't follow simple instructions. Neither her mom or dad wanted to listen. At about two months into a dreadful 1st grade year, her mom had finally had it with her behavoir. However, the teacher kept dismssing my concerns, saying," I saw her be quiet at the "Meet the Teacher Night", so I know sh can do it in class". That day never came, and she was finally concerned. My step-daughter was officially diagnosed two months ago. Her father is still somewhat in denial. He thinks it has to do more with the teacher.

I can't tell you how important it is to identify the problem. Your step-son WILL start to suffer, not only academically, but his self-esteem will gradually wear away. Be this child's voice, and YELL for help. There are alternatives to meds. We chose meds simply because her mother was so fed up she wanted the "QUICK FIX". We are still waiting to see if the meds will take effect. GOOD LUCK!