Road Rage | ADHD Information
I'm curious, is this an ADD thing? Or is it just a man thing?
I seem to be in a state of barely suppressed fury from the moment I put the key in the ignition until I arrive at my destination 
Anyone else?
Mark -
I don't know about it being a male thing...cuz I have a woman friend who gets enraged soooo easily while driving, and at the smallest things. Then she guns it, which leaves my stomach a block behind!
And she wonders why her car isn't getting the gas mileage it's suppose (new car). I don't dare say anything to her tho, cuz then she'll get pissed at me and instead of saying something to me, she'll just gun it again! And I have to wait for my stomach to catch up again. 
I'm also a defensive driver (so much so, I know of several people who always tease me about it), but MAN... do I get the road rage!
City driving is the worst... I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by idiots who don't pay attention to what's going on around them (IT'S DRIVING PEOPLE!, IT'S IMPORTANT TO PAY ATTENTION!)<- internal dialogue, LOL
Coincidently, I also get raged when I see a bad parking job, haha.
However, objectively, I've personally noticed that most of the bad drivers mainly happen to be women for the most part (not all of them, just the trend). I won't speculate on why that is though - I know that's probably pissed off some people, but it's just a simple objective observation... nothing more.
But yeah, it's almost like sitting down in the driver's seat elicits a pavlovian response for anger sometimes! Even if you get in your car, trying to be positive and hopeful for a pleasant driving experience, it seems like that will be your worst day once you get going.
On that note, I have to admit that I am new to trying Ginseng complex, and it actually seems to work for a couple hours! I find it MUCH easier to cope with the idiots. That has led me to believe that the rage is simply stress related - which also means that it's partly at the cause of both being male and having ADD/ADHD.
I recommend you try some, if you havn't, and you get road rage, it seems to help me (and I didn't even expect it to work - very unlikely to be a placebo effect)Hmmm.... have you considered getting a skateboard instead? Just kidding!
My therapist said that road rage and accidents are pretty common in males with adhd. Dont have that problem, myself. I'm the defensive driver type. Maybe a female thing.
Latina! :o) I was not poking fun at you and your parrot at all! Actually, as I was replying I totally forgot you even had a parrot! I love parrots too and know they are very smart and have the mentality of toddlers. I can completely understand that she is your babyand I dont think it is weird at all that you call her your daughter! I don't have one just because I know I don't have the time to properly care for one, but I have always wanted a parrot - I love all animals in general actually!
We have a golden retriever and she is our first baby so to speak, we did and still do take her everywhere and it was funny, the first christmas we had her, we vere kinda offended that she didnt' get christmas presents from anyone else but us, because to us, she was and still is one of our kids. So I totally get where you are coming from!
With my daughter, she does repeat everything you say. One time I was mad at my pc and I couldn't figure something out so under my breath I said "Aww, what the f*ck?!!?" and sure enough, my daughter was quietly playing outside the door way and for the next two days, that was her favourite saying, she kept walking around in this sweet little 2 year old voice going "WTF? WTF? WTF? AWWW WTF?"
I could have died!
My take on Road Rage( highly opininated and subjective)
I think it's a testosterone thing
Stop rushing
stay in the slow lane when you can
let people into a line of traffic..I discovered it feels much better than forcing them to wait.
Screw the jerk who flies by you on the right and cuts into traffic causing everyone driving normal to slam on the breaks... he'll get wiped out sooner or later he isnt worth the energy of getting mad at or the danger in retaliating
The one thing I will do is if I get a tale gater who starts high beaming me on the hiway in heavy traffic during rush hour because he doesnt like the 50 feet seperating me from the car in front of me I will flip my mirror up and down slowly..I am not sure when the arc reflects his lights back at him but I am know that it does...in my Days of Maniac driving it was done to me. When I get a chance i move over and the back into the fastlane its not like i drive slow jiust not crazy. People are amazing if you jsut watch the A$$es they are 5 cars in front of you after driving like Jeff Gordon and endangering everyone on the ropad for 20 miles.... who could get mad at that kind of stupidity? It sucks to be that keyed up I used to be that way. I'd get somewhere MISERABLE from my Lemans type driving.
I had a life changing experience in my mid 30s( I really think younger guys do the road rage more). I was cursing out this old lady in front of me who was driving so slow the great "I" had gotten stuck at several lights I would of glided through if the Old Lady hadnt been insisting on driving the speed limit. She freaking stopped for a yellow lkiight OMG!!! I was in a blind rage. I was MFing her up and down screaming in my car when it dawned on me my window was down and so was hers and she was probalby terroized. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. Because "I" was running late and she was just following the law "I" had probably scared her half to death. I thought of my Mom and how she drove and honestly accessed my behavior and whether she had really done anything but follow the law. I still feel ashamed about it.
I have gotten mad at A holes on the road weaving and cuittin but am never one of them anymore and now instead of tailgating them in revenge or trying to cut in front of them...I BACK THE F off before they ruin my day. It's much nicer not arriving somewhere in a rage. Incidentally, I was going through a divorce when I was at my worst I am sure some of the behavior was just spill over misdirected anger. If I start going there I try to take 2 seconds and ask myself what I am angry about or why I am in such a freaking rush...it mostly works and it mostly isnt really the traffic bugging me. If I am late i am late today...it's a consequence of my behavior not a reason to endanger others lives.
I used to live in Northwest CT when I was Married I can realte to tourist stress. In the fall I would be coming to and from work which was a 75mi trip. In the fall Rt 7 and 63 stop being a roads to move traffic and start being the roads folks drive to look at the pretty sceneary where I used to Live....OMG, it was very hard not to be a complete Ahole so mostly I was only 90% of one. The nice thing was that the traffic generally was thin enough and the locals mostly behaved the same way when they crept up on a tourist doing 25. Everyone passed them at the first straight way so it was a pain but generally there wouldnt be long lines stuck behind sightseers...generally... when there was I would sometimes take back roads that wouldnt be any faster but, that wouldnt have the traffic and the stress of watching that slow car at the head of the line and seething inside they were holoding ME up! I learned the area better that way and I was always into "exploring". Now I drive in Southern CT which is like NY, LA, or Boston pre big dig....My heart would of exploded by now if I hadnt changed.
Hey Chaotic, where you making fun of me and my parrot? No offence taken if you were b/c unless you have had the joy(in most cases) of owning one of these beautiful & intelligent little feathered beings, you would have no idea. I know calling her my daughter may seem weird, but after 23 yrs it seems like that.
The part that you and alot of other pple don't understand, is that they have the mentality of a 3 yr old. A 3 yr. old can communicate, and understand what their saying. Most pple get a parrot and just play tapes and never give a meaning to what they say. Tequila dosn't have a 1000 word vocabulary, I'd say closer to 50 if that. Also my hubby taught her almost everything she knows, even though shes very close to me. She also works at the beach. She loves to pose for pictures w/ children and has broken many pple of their fear of parrots and are amazed when she says something that fits right into the conversation. At home when I ask her if she wants to go to work, she says "oh yeah! beach, mommy". When she askes for a certain food, she cops a major 'tude until she gets it! She dosen't cuss, but she does say "fart". Ok, you got me there! She has no idea what a fart is.
Sorry so long, but I just had to get that off my chest. I hope your not offended.
Maybe someday you'll meet a Parrot like her.
Ops! I just read your post again. Are you saying you have a parrot? Sorry if I misunderstood.I though maybe you read one of my many posts that I refere to her as my daughter.
Oh goodness, I can get road rage really really bad sometimes, especially when I am running seriously late (which is usually my fault to begin with LOL). I have to be careful because I usually have my kids in the car and my 2 yo daughter is a parrot and just repeats everything you say
It's funny, I used to live in a huge city, and now I live in an itty bitty tiny village in the middle of nowhere on Vancouver Island, there are only 600 or less people that live here, and I can still get roadrage LOL Ya, you know you have a problem when...
We're moving back to the city in 2 weeks and I know just going back is going to be a total shock to my system
Road rage seems to be a "man thing" but sometimes I feel like I would just love to floor it and go after the ahole that just cut me out, is driving to slow(like 60 in a 55mph zone)! Or makes a turn at 2 mph! I don't know where all of y'all live, but we live in Florida near a major tourist area.The roads are so hard to drive for a non-residents b/c alot of street signs are still down from all the hurricans! And I'm mean major intersections. I have more patience w/out of state drivers, even though I do cuss just b/c I might be late or they might be "sight seeing" during rush hr. I know every state has different rules of the road, and it can be confusing. BUT I HAVE ADD Y'ALL, AND THATS CONFUSING!
I think God made me 5'4 110pds. for a reason. The closest I have come to REAL road rage, or maybe road kill, was when a lady who coulden't even see over the wheel cut out w/out looking in a HUGE caddy! I had to slam the breaks on(no time to stop slowley), my little Grand Am spun in a complete circle! A guy in back of me got out to make sure I was OK. He saw it happen and it was one of those things that you can't believe COULD HAPPEN! She never even say me. I said " I'm going after the bitch and kick her ass". After being calmed down, I thanked him and was on my way to work. My hubby saw the circuler tire marks and remarked "I'd have had to go after her and do some serious damage" Of course he'd be in jail and if I was oh say even 5'8 or 9 I don't think I would be a free woman. I will never carry a gun in my car either. Temper to bad. 
There have been some close calls w/my hubby, but since I can keep a clearer head and see where it could lead when I'm the passanger, he cusses, but backes off. My rule of thumb is "no matter how big you are, your no match for that nut who has a gun". I find cussing at the top of my lungs satisfying and safe!
I occasionally swear at / get annoyed at A) dumb cell phone users, B) people who cut me off, C) people who insist on driving extremely slow unwarranted. (and I'm male)But, I'm not sure it's road rage. Once, I accidentally cut someone off (I think he was speeding but not 100% sure... thought I had time to make the turn) and at the next stop he got out of his car and started approaching mine yelling at me. Yikes. I just drove off.
One characteristic of my ADD is my VERY LOW (i would say non-existant) tolerance for frustration. The other idiot drivers (moi???? cest pas possible!!) need to do very little wrong to induce a state of extreme frustration. Do I realise it is irrational...of course...do I care at the time...of course NOT (because the other aspect is the IMPULSIVITY of course!). Do I think road rage is a bad thing (as a large, mean, walking testosterone riddled bucca neer) not really.
After all 99% of my road rage incidents happened because the other driver deserved it ,,. (Those who take offence to my humour should be warned...it gets worse from here on in).
I do consider the testosterone excuse to be a load of baloney. (Too similar to the "just work harder and be less lazy" kind of labelling we ADDers are often subjected to). Is there any hard research on this I wonder (and can I use it as an excuse in my up and coming road rage assault trial 
)
[QUOTE=BOBEL]
My take on Road Rage( highly opininated and subjective)
I think it's a testosterone thing
Stop rushing
stay in the slow lane when you can
let people into a line of traffic..I discovered it feels much better than forcing them to wait.
Screw the jerk who flies by you on the right and cuts into traffic causing everyone driving normal to slam on the breaks... he'll get wiped out sooner or later he isnt worth the energy of getting mad at or the danger in retaliating
[/QUOTE]
It took me until I was about 26 to start listening to the above advice.
The one thing that still annoys me is the driver that speeds up to block a perfectly safe pass.
Anyone live in California?
the only reason I think testosterone might be a relationship is I observe it more in younger people especially early 20s and pretty much rarer in older people 50s and 60s and terstosterone drops of slowly from 18-40 then faster after 40. It's not meant as an excuse anymore than my brain is wired a little different is an excuse for ADHD...I am still responsible for my own actions. I didnt mean to say it was a cause of it just that maybe being younger and having more of a hormone that motivates bolder behavior might be an aggravating factor that helps some people across the line from Citizen to Citizen A$$hole on the hiway. You may be right though..there may be ZERO connection at all. Observations are easily influenced by belief.Hi again CC, thanks for setting me straight on that one! So you have a daughter that repeats like a parrot. I just thought after reading it again and seeing "daughter & parrot" in the same sentence, that you may also be a parrot mommy, but not sure. That was funny!!!!
I think thats so cool that you understand them, and would like to have one. After you said your dog wasn't given any Christmas presents, her FIRST Christmas by anyone but you, I know how you felt! Tequilas first Christmas we had so many relatives over. I was crushed when no one gave her anything. Some never even said "hello" to her!
We gave her lots! And just like your Lab, she goes everywhere with us to. Animals are very special people and they are "our babies". Thanks again for your reply.
P.S Sorry y'all for changing the subject.
I probably incite road rage. not on purpose. I drive only 20 minutes to work so I leave my house about a 3/4 of an hour before i need to be there so i don't need to rush and i don't have a heart attack if i catch the stupid train. (i know they wait down the tracks for me)
Anyway, I drive the speed limit or maybe five over to stay with most of the traffic. In mich the highway speed limit is 70 mph. Everyday i have people screaming up to my back bumper and screaming at me because they want to do 90 mph. Oh my gosh people, leave your house 15 minutes earlier. I see the same crazy people. I saty in the right hand lane as much as possible but now and then you have to pass the dude or dudette doing 55 -60 in a 70. but... is 80-90 really neccessary?
[QUOTE=BOBEL]I think it's a testosterone thing
[/QUOTE]
I'd have to beg to differ on this one... All i know is that nobody BETTER not pee me off while i'm driving when I have PMS!!!!!!!!!!
I am pretty much ok while driving but i think their are a lot of women with ADD who get EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED more easily when they are on pms!
When I have pms, I just try not to drive, I just leave it to my husband....
All i have to say is usually i drive very agessively, but today i took concerta and i drove like a 90 year old woman, well not really but i went the speed limit and made complete stops. very relaxed and calm.As far as I'm concerned about road rage.......
Some people are only allowed to live because it's illegal to kill them
I don't think it's a guy thing. I'm a woman and I cannot stand to drive! People just don't pay attention - they act like they are the only ones on the road! And why is it so hard to MERGE? You SPEED UP to merge into traffic - that's what the on-ramps are for - so you can flow into traffic! Slowing down is not merging! Ok, thanks for allowing me to vent!
I used to, but since the wonder drug, I've been much better.
By the way Thanks Mark!! I love the avatar.
just found this topic. I do not think RR is a man thing. 99% of the time I am easy going, but put me on th highway with crazy divers and I am a freakin lunatic! I only cuss with the windows up; would not cuss out a person verbally as it would be mean and only endanger us both, but I do the mimicking thing tooo as Bobel stated re the cell phones. I shake my head a lot when I pass idiots who drive in the fast lane and then only go 65MPH and/or use thier phones. ARRRRRGGGHHHH! It makes me want to bitch slap 'em!
When I'm driving, I'm usually very calm- in fact I find it relaxing! With having to focus on a ton of little things all at once, I can think clearly about important things while my add is focused on the little stuff.That said, there are a few things that annoy me about other drivers:
1. People that speed up behind you after you pass them and start tailgating you. I'm going my speed, you're going yours. That's why I passed you. Don't use me as an excuse to go fast because you're too pussy to break the speed limit by yourself. I KNOW you're using me as a shield for cops. And it pisses me off.
2. "Vigilante" drivers driving the speed limit in the fast lane. I've talked to some people, and they tell me they drive in the fast lane not because they are ignorant to driving etiquette, but because they think they have a moral obligation to stop others from speeding. After a verbal beating from me (there are tons of reasons for it being safer to have a "fast" lane), they stop doing it, but still I think it's totally annoying.
Yeah, that's pretty much it. All the rest doesn't really bother me. Getting angry at other drivers just doesn't help the situation, and they usually don't even know you're angry at them. *shrug*
[QUOTE=Haley]
just found this topic. I do not think RR is a man thing. 99% of the time I am easy going, but put me on th highway with crazy divers and I am a freakin lunatic! I only cuss with the windows up; would not cuss out a person verbally as it would be mean and only endanger us both, but I do the mimicking thing tooo as Bobel stated re the cell phones. I shake my head a lot when I pass idiots who drive in the fast lane and then only go 65MPH and/or use thier phones. ARRRRRGGGHHHH! It makes me want to bitch slap 'em!
[/QUOTE]
I absolutely do all of this, but only when I have pms...
my husband HAS to drive when i have pms, cuz i will run some idiot clean off the road, if I do.....
so, i don't think it's just a testosterone thing....
I think it's an ADD thing for me! I have always had terrible road rage. Even when growing up, my Mom would say I told her to 'honk em' if they were slow or cut her off, etc. I was only a kid! Now I have to watch what I say and do since my Son is with me and yells 'beep beep!'. It just makes me so angry when drivers are inconsiderate. It's like I have to teach them a lesson so they drive better. But who am I?
I sure hope it gets better on the new medication. Driving is so stressful for me.
I save my roadrage for GTA. It is so satisfying. In real life I have no car you are all lucky folks.oooh, it feels good.
[quote=wren]"Vigilante" drivers driving the speed limit in the fast lane. I've talked to some people, and they tell me they drive in the fast lane not because they are ignorant to driving etiquette, but because they think they have a moral obligation to stop others from speeding. After a verbal beating from me (there are tons of reasons for it being safer to have a "fast" lane), they stop doing it, but still I think it's totally annoying.[/quote]
What is the fast lane for? Actually it's not even a 'fast' lane...I'm sorry Wren, but the 'fast' lane does not give people permission to speed. So why does everyone get so upset if you drive the speed limit in that lane?.
I just don't understand. Something I never understood...please explain to me?
[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn]What is the fast lane for?[/QUOTE]
The fast lane's for me!
Get outta my way!!
Even most cops (I know many) recognize that the posted speed limit is more of a guideline of sorts, than a hardened concrete rule. And there are always those who drive below the speed limit.
Keeping up with traffic, while in the "Passing Lane" (or going slower) is simply a slap in the face for other people who would like to use the passing lane for..... you guessed it - PASSING! (go figure)... it doesn't matter if they speed or not - that's their business.
So sure... in a perfect, totalitarian-ruled world, where every good little sheep follows the herd, nobody would go one single mile over the speed limit.
But let's face reality here... there ARE people who go over the limit, and the truth is there is nothing you can do about it. All you can do is fullfil (spelling?) your moral obligation and NOT create a safety hazard for everyone on the road by BLOCKING the passing lane... wouldn't you hate having a speeder come up on your bumber and tail-gate you because he/she can't get around? I think I would rather just let them safely pass by and get away from me.
But even if you don't subscribe to that, the driving rules/laws say that a passing lane is for passing. If you are not passing another car, then stay in the main lane! If you're going to pass, then get over into the passing lane - BUT PASS THAT PERSON AND THEN GET RIGHT BACK OVER!!!!!!! I think THAT is what pisses people off most about people loitering in the passing lane.
I have also had cop friends tell me that it's fairly common for people who loiter in the passing lane to get pulled-over... they consider it a safety hazard caused by a moving violation.